To think this is odd

[crispysausagerolls]

AIBU to think it’s odd as a guest to take a cake to a first birthday party (without being asked to)?

No such thing as too much cake at a birthday party.

I think it depends on the cake.

'A' cake no. 'The' cake - yes, odd.

Depends. Do they have allergies?

Yes if it’s in place of a birthday cake. You’ll have to give more details though

I agree with @crispysausagerolls

I also think it depends on who bought it and what they’re usually like. Eg are they the sort that usually brings things?

It's odd but you can't have too much cake.

It depends what kind of party. If it's a party in a hall or venue if think it's odd. If a gathering at home I'd think less odd.

If decorated like a birthday cake then it's very odd.

A cake especially homemade is fine. A proper birthday cake with candles is odd.

Mil??

Typo: I said I agree with @crispysausagerolls but actually meant I agree with @Knittedfairies

Need more info tbh. But I don't think you can ever have too much cake really.

I think it depends on who this person is and if this is out of character.

E.g. sweet old lady next door who can’t possibly go anywhere empty handed and is a keen baker.
Odd in as much as maybe it’s stepping on the toes of the host but well intentioned and very much a part of her character.

Forth cousin twice removed who you’ve only seen once in the past decade and who can’t even cook pasta. Yes, odd.

I’m assuming this is a MIL thread though...

Did they try to bring a birthday cake or just extra cake? I think context is key here :)

Agree with much of above replies

Guest arriving with 'a cake' to any kind of gathering is a nice gesture

Guest arriving with a cake which is clearly decorated to be 'the cake' is odd unless pre agreed

I am not sure how the cake would look - it’s a neighbour who said they are bringing it (didn’t ask, announced). I think the intentions are good and i see the point about not enough cake etc but I feel a little like as it’s a first birthday party there will obviously be a proper birthday cake whcih this does, to use the expression of a PP, step on the toes of a little. It’s not even remotely a “people bring stuff” type of party either, it’s totally catered for. But not sure if the intention is for it to be a birthday cake or normal cake or what 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s put me in a very awkward position as I don’t want to be impolite or ungrateful but equally it’s very important to me that there is one cake - mine! (Even if that’s batshit) not really sure how to handle or what to say

I’d be buzzing if I heard there was going to be an entire extra cake!

Of course it's odd. It's downright bat shit. Who brings a cake to a birthday party when they haven't been asked to provide one? Nobody. That's who.

I would be happy. Better than a recycled pedicure set or some such crap.

I’m assuming this is a MIL thread though

No! She’s not invited 😃 (whole other thread...)

Aquamarine1029

Tbh these are sort of my sentiments

It’s put me in a very awkward position as I don’t want to be impolite or ungrateful but equally it’s very important to me that there is one cake - mine! (Even if that’s batshit) not really sure how to handle or what to say

In the interests of neighbourly relations it’s probably best to just thank them politely and put it away in the kitchen.
Do the “happy birthday” singing and blowing out the candles moment with your cake, start to cut it and serve and then do a casual “Oh and XX bought a cake too, DH can you go and get that one”
That way you’ve had your moment and photos etc but you can still appear polite and grateful. (Even if you’re inwardly seething a little)

HolyMilkBoobiesBatman

Not a bad idea

I am the family member that will always turn up with cake. Just because I absolutely LOVE baking but don't get much opportunity. It also makes me really happy to see how happy people are with their cakes.

For MR Lupin's family I will always ask if it's ok, but for my family I will just turn up with it as no one on my side bakes and we are all really close so no one minds. (They kind of just expect cake now)

I have helped my sister to do special cakes for her DC and certainly wouldn't just announce I would be making a cake for a neighbours child's 1st birthday. It's such a special occasion.

I'm sure it comes from a kind place though. I think that leaving it in the kitchen until after you've done your bit with your cake then bringing it out is a great idea.

Do you think that they think it will be the cake or is it just an extra kind hearted contribution to the buffet?