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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to give her the ticket

76 replies

Snidpan · 04/07/2019 08:42

This year I've taken OH to New York (first class seats), and paid £6k to have her rotten teeth sorted out privately. We always dined out at least 3 times a week, and I thought she was enjoying our life together. She dumped me two weeks ago, and with Pride approaching, AIBU to not want to hand over the ticket I had bought with her in mind.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snidpan · 04/07/2019 08:42

what if I'm seeing someone else when Pride is on?

OP posts:
sackrifice · 04/07/2019 08:44

Sorry, do you really need a poll on this?

Why would you hand over anything else to her if she dumped you?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/07/2019 08:45

Don’t give it to her and send her a bill for the dentist for good measure.

GruciusMalfoy · 04/07/2019 08:48

Why would you give her the ticket when you're not together?! Of course YANBU.

VivienneHolt · 04/07/2019 08:49

Of course yanbu.

LuaDipa · 04/07/2019 08:50

Of course you shouldn’t give her the ticket. But the fact you paid for things doesn’t entitle you to her companionship for life.

Cornettoninja · 04/07/2019 08:50

Oh course you don’t give her the ticket, don’t be a chump!

CalmFizz · 04/07/2019 09:01

If you aren’t going to go then I’d let her buy them from me.

RubberTreePlant · 04/07/2019 09:02

It's not hers.

Illberidingshotgun · 04/07/2019 09:08

Has she asked for it? If so, has she offered to pay you for it?

If she's pestering you for it, just ignore and block. You don't seem to upset over the relationship ending though, if you are already wondering if you might be with someone else at the event. (Not a criticism, but it doesn't sound like you were head over heels in love or anything, so I find it a bit disconcerting that you spent so much money on her.).

NannyRed · 04/07/2019 09:11

You know yanbu, this makes your post look more like a boast about traveling to New York first class and dining out three times a week.

Original poster
Snidpan · 04/07/2019 10:16

I saw that she'd posted on FB that she was looking forward to Pride, so was just wondering if morally I should honour the gift I'd bought, but 96% are in my favour :)

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 04/07/2019 10:19

Maybe she's bought her own ticket now?

sacope · 04/07/2019 10:20

Well not giving her the ticket isn't going to drop her from going. She is going. Spending money on her didn't make her stay with you. It sounds like you have tried to control her using money as a carrot tbh.

Apolloanddaphne · 04/07/2019 10:25

Use the ticket how you want. If she wants to go she can get her own ticket.

Passthecherrycoke · 04/07/2019 10:27

It’s only a ticket not really a big deal is it? She’s a bit odd if she assumes you’re still going to take her though

Ponoka7 · 04/07/2019 10:27

StillCoughingandLaughing, unless you've got an agreement on being repaid, it's a gift, legally.

There's lots going on re Pride, that you don't need tickets for, so she'll still enjoy it. Just start to move on.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 04/07/2019 10:31

Why do you even follow her on FB, that way madness lies.

Original poster
Snidpan · 04/07/2019 10:51

it's all civil at the moment, she's moving out in 3 days

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 04/07/2019 10:53

Why on earth do you need a poll for this? She's dumped you.

Go with someone else and have a lovely time.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/07/2019 10:53

Yanbu
I’m surprised it’s a question tbh. Did she agree to repay you for her teeth?

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/07/2019 10:54

She’s still sleeping at your place... oh god. Is she a fanny lodger?

BossAssBitch · 04/07/2019 10:55

Tell her to do one

trackingmedown · 04/07/2019 11:11

Give it to someone who will appreciate it and you equally. Or shred it. Your call.

tomatostottie · 04/07/2019 11:14

Don't give her the ticket.

Think you are bit mean to write "get her rotten teeth" sorted out - could you not have thought of a nicer way of phrasing that.
Having said that - she is a CF to happily take the money you paid for her teeth and a trip to New York and then she waltzes off and dumps you.

You'd think she could offer to pay back the money for the dentist - even if it is over a longer period of time.
So no - keep the ticket, take someone else and have a nice time.