AIBU to ask for help to see the benefits of full time work

[Whitewinespritzer]

After being really lucky and a stay at home parent for 8 years I now have to go back to full time work. I keep trying to think of all the positives and not what I’ll be missing out on with my children but I’m struggling. The thought of not dropping off and picking them up from school makes me feel so sad and missing out on school holidays. I know there are lots of benefits of work but I can only think of money, please can you lovely lot give me some positives to full time work?

Independence - you will no longer be relying on someone else to support you.

Teaching your children that you are more than just a “mum” - that yes, women do work outside the home!

Exercising your brain
Learning new skills
Meeting new people
Social interaction
New wardrobe
Independence
Widening perspectives
Pension
Money for treats
Lunch

Not being dependent on a man

Independence!
Having your own money to treat yourself with
Having to avoid school drop offs is great as you can avoid school mums/mum cliques
Being your own person, I really enjoy being at work because I get to have adult conversations and it keeps my mind busy
Being able to go to the loo on your own haha

I have lovely supportive friends at work and we make each other laugh all the time. I honestly enjoy my work life as much as my home life. And when I solve a problem or come up with a really good idea that makes a difference at work, I feel really good about myself. I feel valued and appreciated at work, people give me praise and it massively helps my self esteem. I am in a job where I get results that are directly related to my input and achieving good results is extremely satisfying. I know I am lucky and your work may not be so fulfilling, but for all those reasons, I am grateful to be in full time work.

You could work pretty much full time & still spend time with the kids. From September I'll be working 33.5hrs a week, that means I get to pick DS up from school 3 times a week & my mum will do the other 2.
My employer also offers term time employment, so staff are off for the whole school holidays. There are a lot of options, with the right employer, so you can enjoy the best of both.
Personally, I couldn't not work. I need the time with adults & doing something for myself. Plus it gives us extra money to do fun stuff. We'd really struggle on just my husbands wage.
At the end of the day, you just need to do what's right for you & your family.

Can I watch this thread to give me reasons to not quit my job and become a SAHM??

The money.
The annual leave (which you can in school holidays or while they’re at school to have time on your own).
Hot tea/coffee as many times as you like.
Guaranteed breakfast and lunch. Whatever you want to eat in your own time.
New friends outside the school/nursery/baby group circle.
Being busy.
Independence.
Learning new skills and possibilities getting new qualifications.
Pension.
Quality family time over quantity.
Being a great role model. There’s many benefits to being a SAHM for sure but I like that I’m showing my kids what I can achieve as an individual and that you can be whoever you want to be despite society’s expectations and that there are people outside the family unit that can care for them.

I think every parent working full time feels sad about missing out on school stuff but with careful planning and looking into your employee benefits, that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case.

Financial independence.
Paying into your pension for the future.
Showing your kids the importance of work.
Freedom and having something outside the home that's "yours".
Job satisfaction.
More money for holidays, days out, treats etc.
Giving your children some independence and freedom away from you.
Making new friends/meeting new people.
Learning new things.
New experiences.

Independence

Sense of purpose

Stimulating conversation

Money

Satisfaction of feeling you have helped people (I'm a nurse)

Definitely quality family time.

New friends without children, it’s wonderful!

Having time to myself is a big one. Also being able to make money and take off school holidays. Working gives me lots of paid time off so I can still do school holiidays (just not every single day, my dh takes off equally and we use holiday club). But I get to enjoy those days with my dc while getting paid for them. If I want more days, I can take unpaid leave. Also frankly, not doing the school run is a pretty strong motivator for me!

Pension - its the one I worry about the most as only work pt

Having a tea break that is actually a tea break

I was a SAHM for 8 years. Loved it and glad I did it. However, I have thoroughly enjoyed working full time for the past two years (part time for first year though). My job gives me an identity away from being mum and wife. My work is interesting and intellectually challenging. I have my own money and can start to build my pension back up after such a long break. I have made new friends which is always a bonus. I work flexibly and from home when I can which helps.

A lesson for your kids that mum and dad both work.

Work is over-rated.

All of the above!
AND you learn to make the most of the free time you have together!

*Basketofkittens

Work is over-rated*

Only if you don't need the money to live!

Self respect - paying your own way
CPD - continuing to learn new skills, use new technologies
Depending on your job - chance to help others, make a difference
Social activity - workplace conversations, social events, alternative opinions - I work with people I would never be friends with, so it's interesting to hear what they have to say
Good example to your children of someone who works
Greater enjoyment of your leisure time - a lie in at the weekend, time to read a book, sounds mad but I find I relish that. Ditto holidays - feels as if you have earned your break,

I’m guessing as a happy stay at home mum you won’t relate to a lot of these (self respect for ffs!).

I’ve done both, they are just different. I like to see it as phases of life, not better, just exploring you and gaining experiences. The children will grow and it’s hard to predict what at this stage, but just know you will have new fun adventures that compliment old ones. There might be another phase again too (I quit work to home Ed- totally unpredictable with a good career but I’m very happy. I also was at work, but I’m having fun now). The only one thing I think Is look back and regret is if I plodded through life with never going for a big change or taking a risk, it’d be soul-destroying to have one dull samey identity (whatever that was) that defines you entirely. Just go and enjoy it!

Thank you everyone, you are all really helping me feel much more confident that I’m making the right decision, particularly about being a positive role model for my children. I am hoping my OH will start pulling his weight around the house once I start.

Don't hope make it clear it must happen

I have a friend who went back to work as her DD’s ambition was to stay at home like her mum. I need to work and on the whole like it. Plus I am lucky enough to work locally so I get to see quite a bit of my DC.

Having hot drinks safely (and still hot!)
Going to the loo by yourself, and no discussion about wee/poo with anyone
You can eat anything you like without questions/demands of 'sharing'
Not having to pretend to be the paw patrol/ power rangers/whatever is in fashion

Depends on the job, but I like being able to actually achieve something with my day, rather than get to bedtime having not stopped but achieved bugger all.