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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My DH does this really annoying thing ...

89 replies

Anoying22 · 02/07/2019 22:16

He gets ready for bed, comes down in his pants and says goodnight. I say ok, love you, goodnight, I'll be up soon etc.. we exchange a kiss and off he goes. I then settle down to watch the news or finish whatever I was doing, usually with a nice glass of wine quite enjoying 5 mins to myself!! He then returns and just stands there, in front of the TV in his pants. I have no idea why but it drives me crazy!!! I just think, 'well go then!!!' - we've said goodnight, had a kiss etc... So why doesn't he go!!! But he just stands there. Eventually he'll go upstairs but then he comes down about a minute later, again just standing around in his pants. I know he's not doing anything wrong but it drives me nuts!!! Surely he should either be up or down!! - if he wanted to stay and watch TV, couldnt he just come and sit down? Why just stand there, back to me, staring at the TV which he's not even watching! He's just hovering ...grrrr!!! It's just sooooo irritating and I can't relax!!!!

I know I am being VERY unreasonable and irrational!! But this is my absolute pet hate!! :) And it's EVERY night recently!!!

OP posts:

Goingonagondola · 03/07/2019 00:27

Oh and yes he definitely wants sex.

Lochnessgiraffe · 03/07/2019 00:49

There are several things
A) he wants sex
B) he's tired and wants to cuddle before sleeping
C) he's worried about you staying up to late as you complain about being tired
D) he's wants you to go to bed at the same time
E) he's a controlling arsehole and wants to monitor everything you do.

I've been on munsnet for over 10years so look at the options. I've tried to give options but unfortunately if you have been in a abuse relationship you always think the worst. Hence my abcs... It could be nice it could also be very controlling. It depends? 😕.

Lochnessgiraffe · 03/07/2019 00:50

Abcs should be STBXH

joystir59 · 03/07/2019 16:01

Lie like broccoli
Definition: to lie side by side, inert, relishing the simple pleasure of being horizontal in a confirmation bed after a long day

dudsville · 03/07/2019 17:47

Learn to make your peace with it? If he's not doing anything but saying goodnight and then bit going straight to bed I'd just chill.

dudsville · 03/07/2019 17:48

In fact, other gin a glass of wine, offer gin to join you?

BullBullBull · 03/07/2019 17:57

Why not ask him? If it were my DH, I’d ask him to either go up or down because he’s annoying the fuck out of me.

Don’t understand when married couples are coy with each other

gamerchick · 03/07/2019 17:58

Whatever his reason he simply wants you to go up with him. Doesn't matter why, it just is.

My husband falls asleep at 9pm and will snore away on his chair rather than go to bed but if I give in and go up he's straight up after me we don't even share a bedroom.

He's lovely and I love him very much but have no problem getting him told. As should you.

Tell him he makes a shit window and is he going to bed or not.

Or when he does the whole going up and kiss goodnight thing as him if he's going to bed this time or is he going to stand in front of the telly in his knickers for whatever reason only known to him.

Thatsashame · 03/07/2019 18:02

I just realised the only time we go to bed seperatley is of one of us is I'll or the other is away for some reason which isn't very often. One of us will just say ok time for bed and the other goes ok and we go to bed. We seem to take it in turns or if we see the other is tired we usher to bed... Always been this way since we lived together.

BumbleBeeWineGlass · 03/07/2019 18:07

I don't have a bedroom anymore (boring story) but the best thing about it is that we no longer do the awkward "shall we go to bed?" Dance..

DH used to get to a certain time and just turn the telly and the lights off and ask should we go to bed? I'd be internally seething that whilst asking he'd made it clear that he was expecting us to both go and I didn't want to!

I have told him this since and he didn't realise, he thought it was just something couples do, he loves the ritual of going to bed together, I don't. So now I can fall asleep on the sofa until my heart is content.

ooooohbetty · 03/07/2019 18:11

What he is doing is odd but you are more odd for not asking him why he's doing it? How on earth could asking him a question hurt his feelings?

Benjispruce · 03/07/2019 18:31

Ask him ,not us!!

Benjispruce · 03/07/2019 18:35

Lay like broccoli was a line in Pretty Woman wasn't it?

SummerHouse · 03/07/2019 18:48

I would start filming him.

Can you post videos on MN?

If so, all the better.

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