To want to scream when they all follow me?!

[Mummy1224]

I’m a SAHM of a 1yr old and 3yr old. Spend 50hrs a week with them; when DH comes home I often go into the kitchen to make dinner and put a little tv on in there, hoping for 10 minutes peace/time alone. Then they all burst in to start playing in there with me....also happens at the weekend when I go upstairs to get dressed.
When this happens I honestly could just scream with frustration! I want to be ALONE for ten minutes (and I’m making the dinner, not like I’m actually relaxing!). I don’t want people asking for snacks and driving toy cars into my feet and telling me about their work day, just for TEN MINUTES!
Please tell me I’m not a totally selfish unbalanced cow, and other MNers feel like screaming sometimes too?!
Maybe a lock on the kitchen door.....

Your husband follows as well?

Go for a run when your husband gets in, or a walk if you like, aThat was always my Me Time!

I feel your pain. For any time alone I have to leave the house or they leave the house. 2.5 yr old and 6 month old.

YANBU! I have one child and he is one - when I am cooking dinner at the weekend (also have him alone mon-fri) DH is always coming in “let’s see what mummy is doing”, because he has run out of ideas on how to amuse our very easily amused child! Fuck off DH! 😂🤷🏻‍♀️🙈

Get your DH to make dinner whilst you go upstairs for a bath/shower (or just fake it and watch something on your phone with the door locked). You’re not being unreasonable at to want some peace!!

Absolutely not unreasonable! Develop a hobby- run/walk-book group! Anything.

I crave peace too - mine are 3 and 4 so the light is starting to emerge a bit at the end of the tunnel....!

Thanks all, this is most reassuring!!

@Ghanagirl yes he does, often to tell me about his work day. I feel totally guilty being pissed off about wanting to watch a bit of tv instead of hear about his day....feel like I’m not being terribly supportive!

@crispysausagerolls 😂 you said what I was thinking!

I like the idea of going out - although I genuinely don’t mind being around the kids until they’re in bed, it’s just when there’s another adult around and I’m STILL first port of call for every sodding person in the house!

So glad other people feel like this too, and @ilikeviognier how bright is the light looking?!

Think how a mother duck must feel …..

yes! I disappear upstairs just as everyone has finished eating and dh manages clear up and entertains kids for 30 mins. woe betide anyone who interrupts me!

I now put the tv on for 30 mins while making dinner, sadly my 2yo isn't always glued to the screen like my 5yo and will seek me out

Get a bolt for the kitchen door and tell your dh it's to keep the kids out while you're cooking as they are both mobile and you would hate for them to get scalded.

Then relax and enjoy.

I did a survey over a period of days once and it worked out at about an average of 7 minutes on my own before someone came to find me.

I felt like I was going insane. I know exactly what you mean!

It has improved to about 10 mins now they're older. People tell me I'll miss it.

Will I though?

Oh my god yes. If I leave them with their dad and go upstairs for a wee the one that can walk follows me and the other one screams downstairs till I come back. It's nice to think they like being around me so much and I love them to bits but you can't get a minutes peace can you!? Now I understand all those memes about mums drinking wine whilst hiding in cupboards.

Oh god, I feel like that now and my dp is 50! DS2 is 9 and they both seem to think life is not complete unless they're in the room with me... It feels so mean to want them to go away but sometimes I just need ten bloody minutes on my own!

You are definitely not alone. I can guarantee in under 10 minutes either dh or one of my adult dc will potter along with the toddler because she wants to find Mummy because Mummy is hiding!

Too bloody right I'm hiding - in the cupboard with a packet of chocolate biscuits and a HOT cuppa!

I have the same thing with my two. I have a 2yr old and an 8 month old I've started going to the gym! I hate exercise but am loving the me time. Did Pilates last night and it was bliss.

Have a word with your DH - you should be able to slope off for half an hour no issue.

Do you get a lie in on a weekend day too? In our house "lie ins" go on til 11am some mornings, including nipping down for tea and toast. It's my main reading time these days.

Also consider having a good few hours or an overnight to yourself, if your youngest is weaned. It'll recharge your batteries like you wouldn't believe.

I feel your pain. Mine are 9 and 6 and still do it! I have felt guilty for years about needing some alone time, but now at working on my ‘boundaries’ (good counselling!). I don’t allow them in the kitchen when I’m cooking. I insist on FIVE MINUTES with my bedroom door shut in the morning to drink my coffee.
It’s getting better, but I still need to enforce the rules every day!

You need a copy of Jill Murphy’s book Five Minutes Peace. It’s a lovely picture book about the Large family, who are elephants. Mrs Large wants five minutes Peace, but never gets it.

I used to read it aloud to my children as a passive-aggressive alternative to shouting ‘leave me the fuck alone, you darling vampires’.

Plus what everyone else said about leaving the house.

I so feel for you. It is hellish needing time alone and not being allowed to have it. I am a fairly social introvert and I found the early years with DC very hard.

Thankfully they are now 9 and 13 and delightful, still around and about but not demanding my every moment.

It does get better OP, but very slowly.........

My dh has taken child to "visit" me in the bath. I genuinely love them both but do not miss them that much.

And yes, what others said, steal an hour here and there. DH and I used to go to the gym or even the pub on our own for a glass of wine once in a while.

In fact I have just remembered we used to do that Dh is a teacher and the look on his face after yet another school holiday day alone with the DC sent him running to the pub for a pint and a read of the paper. I used to do it too!

Overprotective

I definitely get the same thing. I have a 1 year old, a 4 year old and a 33 year old (dh). I would love just a few minutes on my own but no it's constantly a case of "let's find mummy", "let's show mummy", "let's pester mummy until she has a breakdown". Oh well, I should be happy about how much they love me I suppose.

Yes OP, could have written that. Cooking/cleaning with YouTube/podcast is sacred to me these days 😄

Allfednonedead I love that book! And now understand why my mum read it to us so much when we were young.