To want to scream when they all follow me?!

[Mummy1224]

I’m a SAHM of a 1yr old and 3yr old. Spend 50hrs a week with them; when DH comes home I often go into the kitchen to make dinner and put a little tv on in there, hoping for 10 minutes peace/time alone. Then they all burst in to start playing in there with me....also happens at the weekend when I go upstairs to get dressed.
When this happens I honestly could just scream with frustration! I want to be ALONE for ten minutes (and I’m making the dinner, not like I’m actually relaxing!). I don’t want people asking for snacks and driving toy cars into my feet and telling me about their work day, just for TEN MINUTES!
Please tell me I’m not a totally selfish unbalanced cow, and other MNers feel like screaming sometimes too?!
Maybe a lock on the kitchen door.....

I have found that presenting DH with a list of jobs that need immediate actioning if he starts following / hanging around/ coming to find me works an absolute treat.

There have been times when all of them have been in the smallest room in the house (tiny ensuite) for no reason other than to be on top of me.

Definitely leave the house, take up “running” you don’t have to run, a nice walk alone and a sit down on a bench alone does wonders!! It gets easier so you won’t need to “go running” for ever! And never own up to just walking or you will end up having family walks which I guarantee won’t be as relaxing!!

I was going to suggest a lock on the kitchen door, that only you have the key for.

YADNBU.

This is what the Archers is for: Nobody Speaks to Mum from when the signature tune plays at the beginning to when it plays at the end. The characters may be annoying but they're not my characters.

I get 13 minutes in Ambridge with my head to myself.

I'd like to tell you it does eventually end but...

Na. I went from being Mrs Large in '5 minutes peace' (I had 4 children in 5 years) to 'Mum's taxi and I need to discuss my problems at 11pm' as teens to 'Mum listen to this riff I'm recording' (at midnight usually) and 3 of my kids are still at home in their 20s...

Dh is and always was, great but somehow it's always 'Muuuuuum'!

Still one of the funniest and most relatable tweets I've ever seen.
YANBU op, mine are 5 and 9 and still need to follow me around the house screeching at me about each other, asking questions or demanding food. Good job I love them because they make me insane some days.

@ChardonnaysPrettySister I already have a dog! 🤦🏼‍♀️ She’s my favourite the most low maintenance!

Liking this idea of ‘running’, sounds like there a lot of ‘runners’ out there. There is a pub about a mile away, perhaps I could ‘run’ there

Tell dh you need half hour cave time when he gets home

Oh gawd 1 and 3, I remember it well it's like being followed around by R2 and 3PO all the bloody time...

This is what the Archers is for: Nobody Speaks to Mum from when the signature tune plays at the beginning to when it plays at the end. The characters may be annoying but they're not my characters.

Yes! On particularly trying days I retreat to my bedroom to listen.

YANBU. I remember having the same feeling, and I think it’s just sensory overload. You just need time to decompress and no, you aren’t being selfish. Have a chat with your DH when you aren’t feeling this way, but are calm and just explain you need some alone time when he gets home, then you’ll be good to go.

This has reminded me of when I was a teenager up to early 20s, I used to go in my mum's room for a chat once she was in bed. She was always reading a book and I just interrupted her for at least 20 minutes. Chatting absolute crap. I bet she was so annoyed 😂now I'm a mum, it makes me realise how annoying that must've been!

Here's a story you may like. Apparently my FIL had little patience with children, which was unfortunate since he had six of them. One rainy day, his youngest daughter had been following him around the house all morning trying to take part in whatever he did. He felt he just had to get out for a bit, so he started to put on his shoes.

Child: Where are you going, Daddy?
Father: I am going round the BLOODY TWIST, that is where I am going.
Child: Can I come?

((((((((madd hugs))))))) i feel for you OP🍰🍷🌻

I came up with

20 min poo. No you wouldnt want to come in its VERY smelly and had the door locked

In the bath with the door locked,. Yes I can help you bit i need to wash and dry and get dressed first. Then make splashy sounds but dont move. They eventually give up and wander off to find an easier target

I cant think about anything until I have had at least 2 sips of tea. This seems reasonable, but the tea is usually too hot to drink for a bit, and then when they get a bit older, they start making you a cup of tea so that you will help/answer question/fish the lego out of the toilet etc etc

If you cant leave the house, the most important thing is to make yourself harder work to get help from than your DH or their sibling, so then they start bugging the others 😎. Also fein incompetence, oh Daddy is much better at getting snacks than me, you should ask him.

When my sister had her babies we all (there are 4 of us plus some partners ) descended from around the world on my parents, my mum after a while got to the point where she need us away from her so sent us off visit my brothers girlfriend at the pub where she was working. First thing we do when we arrive at the pub is call my mum asking if she miss us yet She laughed and told us to fuck off and hung up the phone

That was all to say they'll survive and love you still even if you tell them to give you a break!

Your problem is dh!

He's not taking responsibility but leaving you to be the only parent responsible for mothering everyone!

Take your space somewhere outside once he comes home. He can unwind with dc/prep dinner, whilst you run, swim, dance, stretch, do whatever you do to relax and invigorate.

I still can feel continually on the run with teens! We were all out the other day, and i realised they were following along behind me griping in a typical teen way, i noticed by the look from a woman sat watching as we trailed by, and i realised the scene we painted!

Her expression was of pained sympathy! One ive thrown other dms and recognised!

OMG - the whole 'let's go see what Mummy is doing' (ie, I don't know what to do with you anymore so let's make it Mums problem) pees me right off..... I just spent all day with a grumpy child and now that you, the other 'adult' are home you want me to keep trying to deal with it because you can't/wont/have no imagination and don't want to come up with your own ideas/think it's my responsibility...... grrr.

Ok, now that I wrote that it seems that it annoys me more than I even realised ha.

wrt 'running'.

A woman I know caught her mum in a huge lie involving 'running' and sitting on a park bench sneaking a cigarette, all decked out in her running gear.

I'm a SAHM to a 2yo and a 1yo, and there's nothing that makes my blood boil faster than when I go into another room for gasp three minutes and I hear DH say, "Why don't you go and show Mummy...?"

You are most definitely not being unreasonable it drives me mad too. I have one DD who is 7 and still follows me everywhere. It drives me mad at times.

I need time to myself I always have. Last week DH had Mon-Fri days off then worked all weekend so I had no time on my own (not that he follows me round).

I took up running when Dd was 2 and to be honest that’s what’s kept me sane! Just that 40 mins to myself is great.

OP yup give me your DH's number, I'll sort him out

Half an hour. A very reasonable request. It's positively great for them to have a bit of quality time with their dad on weekdays anyway. There is absolutely no benefit to them of it being polluted by "go and show Mummy".

@Mummy1224
You need a copy of Jill Murphy’s book Five Minutes Peace. It’s a lovely picture book about the Large family

aw, just got a little nostalgic tear - we had that book. Mine are 21 and 22 now and while I don't miss most of it (I'm not really a fan of small children) reading together every evening was amazingly brilliant fun.

This is the exact reason why I had a gate on my kitchen door! I'll need to think up a new strategy once the youngest manages to learn how to open it..