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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not bathe my toddler every, single night?

218 replies

fishnugget · 02/07/2019 19:00

Some of my friends do this and I just think 'WHY?'

AIBU?

OP posts:
SVRT19674 · 05/07/2019 14:12

Twice a week except if mucky. People assume my baby gets a bath every day and I just let them think it. I don't believe in it as it washes away natural skin protection. YANBU.

mathanxiety · 05/07/2019 19:36

Oh yes, kids definitely kids get messy, and mine had thick curly hair too, like me. Some of them still do.

I wiped and washed as we went along, and they often got soaking wet several times a day just because of the activities they did.

At serious risk of stifling their creativity I stopped them rubbing food into their hair though. If they were curious about what would happen if they rubbed food into their hair they found out that it resulted in having hands and hair cleaned with a dripping flannel. I felt if they kept at it they were probably not hungry any more and were signalling that mealtime was over.

Overall, wrt playing with food, I hoped I would be able to take my DCs out to eat even at a young age and I felt that letting them use mealtimes as a sensory experience would be a step in the wrong direction and inconsistent with my longer term aim of teaching table etiquette. We ate out about once a fortnight even with babies and toddlers in tow and I wanted it to be an enjoyable experience for all with no need to leave a massive tip to the server and bussing staff by way of apology. 'Start as you wish to continue' was my motto. I can understand that others may well have different perceptions of what is important at mealtime or may prioritise different aspects of the eating experience though.

Our incredibly hot and humid summers meant playing outdoors for long stretches wasn't safe, and we often had to take shelter indoors when thunderstorms blew up. We would go to the public pool in the morning for an hour or so (rinsing chlorine off in the pool showers afterwards) or to the playground for a similar amount of time, again in the morning, because leaving it til later meant that the swings and slides and climbing equipment became too hot to touch. They dug in the sandpit and there was a fountain/splash area they ran about in too. If we stayed home they often played in the garden sprinkler, but again not for extended periods because the heat was too much. I used a zinc sunscreen on their faces that could be washed off with a flannel, and they wore rash tops and hats.

On days with an air quality warning or heat warning we stayed indoors in the AC. They liked painting, colouring, drawing, building with Lego and blocks, sliding down the stairs on an old cot mattress, bouncing on an old mattress in the basement, building forts out of every cushion and blanket they could lay their hands on, playing with various toys, banging the piano, and >shock horror< I let them watch TV too. We had a shaded back garden dominated by a massive old tree that they could dig in - DS and a friend unearthed many toys and treasures left behind by previous occupants of the house in a massive hole they dug there one summer. We spent many an afternoon in the local library.

BillyAndTheSillies · 05/07/2019 21:56

DS(3) gets a bath maybe twice a week, depending on how dirty he is. This week he's been gross covered in dust and suntan lotion so he's had 3 or 4.
He's never wound down after a bath, even as a tiny baby.
At the moment it's more out of my own laziness, heavily pregnant with SPD and struggle to lift him in and out of the bath if DH is working late.

BearRabbitPants · 05/07/2019 22:13

@Greaterthanthesumoftheparts sorry but that is just lazy and neglectful not to wash your child for 2 weeks. Shocking.

DefinatelyAWeeGobshite · 05/07/2019 22:25

I put mine in the bath probably every second or third night, more if they’ve been out playing/all suncream. Some nights they just point blank refuse and it’s an awful screaming match, tears, vomiting type situation, so I fill up a big bowl, strip them down and give them a wash with a facecloth.

Mangofandangoo · 05/07/2019 22:27

Another one for the twice a week club here. Occasionally more if she's got especially grubby

Backhometothenorth · 05/07/2019 22:28

Do what works for you and little one

OneStepSideways · 06/07/2019 18:56

I think as long as you give their bottom and genital area a good wash with wet wipes, and wash their face/hands twice a day, there's no need for a daily bath.

OneStepSideways · 06/07/2019 19:10

Also, if they're just sitting in a bath of water and not being rinsed with the shower head afterwards, I don't see how that gets them clean? All the dirt/sweat/food/dead skin cells just get into the water and stick to them!

My DD (4) has a bath 2-3 times a week, including a hair wash and thorough rinse with the shower once the water drains away. Always in the morning though not at night. We've been doing this since she was tiny. If we've been to the beach/splashpad/sandpit she has a shower when we get home.

Weightissues · 06/07/2019 19:10

Every day mostly because he loves it and it kills half and hour or so when I need to keep him awake a bit longer before bed so he sleeps ok

mathanxiety · 06/07/2019 20:12

OneStepSideways indeed, not to mention the pee that invariably happens in the bath.

I think it's more important to make sure children's bottoms are washed daily once they start to wipe themselves after potty training.

Emzeeb · 07/07/2019 00:16

I actually can’t believe what I’m reading.
How on earth is anyone not giving their baby/toddler/child a shower every day? I don’t do baths, personally but if you do, do baths then at least do it everyday lol.

Ever since my dd been a few months old, she’s had the shower head on her every morning, AND night somedays. I mean, now I know why most people complain their child has nappy rashes, ring worms and all this stuff if this is the common census in this country?

My daughter thankfully never had a nappy rash, her hair is silky as anything and I’m glad she’s fine, no eczema or anything.

Like you don’t have to use body washes etc everyday but running warm water over your child’s body is not going to “dry out their skin” or some bs I’m reading.

How do you feel? After a nice shower? Fresh? Well I beg you please give your child that same basic necessity of a feeling please.

Sissy79 · 07/07/2019 01:22

I bathe mine everyday, and have never had nappy rash on any of the 3 of them. Theh do have eczema though because it’s hereditary and would have it if they were clean or dirty.

mathanxiety · 07/07/2019 01:42

I mean, now I know why most people complain their child has nappy rashes, ring worms and all this stuff if this is the common census in this country?

My daughter thankfully never had a nappy rash, her hair is silky as anything and I’m glad she’s fine, no eczema or anything.

Funny enough, mine never had any skin problems either.

OkPedro · 07/07/2019 03:25

My son developed eczema at 3 weeks old. It had nothing to do with how little or not he was washed.
He had a bath everyday as recommended by the dermatologist we saw. It did nothing to help his skin condition.
emzeeb you’re in the minority if your child never had nappy rash. Children can develop nappy rash even if they are showered or bathed daily. Can’t stand judgy parents like you. Sometimes even when you’re the “perfect” parent things go wrong..

Myfoolishboatisleaning · 07/07/2019 03:51

I did most nights, but we lived in a hot country and had a pool, so the kids were either covered in sweat or chlorine. My children were also particularly grubby and sticky ALL THE TIME. I love freshly washed toddlers especially as they slept in my bed.

Candymay · 07/07/2019 08:44

All my children bath or shower every day. I confess I particularly worry about them using public loos during the day and then getting into bed without washing. It doesn’t feel right. I hope I’m not creating mental health problems but I think it’s a good routine to bathe. I do allow my 5 year old to miss baths some nights if he really doesn’t want to.

I’m absolutely not judging anyone else for how often they bathe their children but this is just what I do.

Holycrapster · 07/07/2019 08:59

We used to do ours every day. I loved it, bath, book and bed. It was more the routine than the cleanliness aspect. Can't think when. It stopped. Ours are teenagers now. One likes to bath almost every day still and the other needs to be reminded :-)

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