Mugged - AIBU?

[15YemenRoad]

I am not a new poster here, I have just NC for privacy reasons.

Last week on my way to a meeting I was mugged at knife point at the train station. Two men stood either side of me, one kept pushing me and when I asked him to stop he said sorry. Next thing I know, he has a knife pressed into my back and the person to the other side of me grabs my purse and phone and runs off.

I have had an extremely difficult year and this has truly set me off. I keep replaying what I could have done different so that they would not take my property. I am driving myself insane going over it again and again and again, just trying to make sense.

The train station was not packed, but there were people. I guess my AIBU for feeling some anger that not even one person came to see if I was okay or even attempt to call for help? Nothing, not one person acted.

I've lived in London all my life, and I've never truly feared such things but currently I am a mess and I don't really know what to do. I do not have a supportive family unfortunately so it's just me trying to figure this out. Right now I am just driving myself insane with it all.

I have logged it with the BTP but realistically I know there's nothing that will really ever come of this.

I'm sorry for sharing this, I just wanted to put it out there hoping I could at least make some sense of all this.

Thank you for your time if you read this.

Awe no, I'm so sorry you experienced this! Can't even imagine what it was like for you to have gone through that.

You cannot blame yourself as hard as it is not to. These people make a living from crime and breaking the law; they wont lose sleep if you're traumatised or end up with PTSD. There will be other victims.

I'm even more sorry that no-one checked to see you were ok, that must of been very lonely and isolating!

Maybe you should see someone to address how you're feeling so it doesn't escalate to affecting your daily life.

You have been through an awful experience so give yourself time to process and heal but not to assume you could of changed the course of events. These people act without conscience.

It’s an awful violation, so don’t feel need to take responsibility, this was not you’re fault
Get a crime ref and ask for a support line etc, they do exist
Do you work? Anyone like a mentor who could help you reorganise your thoughts and enable the processing differently so you’re less bogged down with it all?
Possibly if you work for a large organisation, whatever your role, the6vwill have an open college access support number, eg public service do, unions do, retailers do etc
Hope you get some support

So sorry to hear that. I would report to police as well. Was it caught on CCTV?

I was mugged in London years ago in a street where I was alone and it was dark, he came up behind me and started breathing very heavily then unzipped something - was by a disused park. Then he got a crowbar out and hit me over head with it and took handbag. I was lucky that when I screamed lots of people came out of houses to help including a doctor who got me to hospital for a brain scan. Still leaves me anxious though. Police told me he was attacking one woman a night and they were all young and looked similar. They arrested someone told me but didn't tell me they let them go.

If you go to the doctors you should be able to get counselling. I never had any as too scared to go out. Sorry it happened to you.

This happened Thursday that has just gone and I have not slept since. I feel so daft even typing that. I just cannot stop thinking of why I failed myself so badly? Why did I allow them to take my things from me so easily? Could I have done something more? These thoughts are just driving me insane right now and I am struggling to manage them.

I also have anger that not even one person helped or asked if I was okay, but I then feel as though I am being a terrible person expecting them to care. So I am unreasonable for thinking that way. However, if I ever saw something like that I would most definitely try and help or at least give support to the person. I could not ignore it and carry on as I did not witness something.

@EAIOU Thank you for your kind words and for reading my post. I have contemplated putting this out there since Friday but today I just feel like I have snapped and wanted to at least speak to someone. I don't have many people around me to talk to, or who are supportive either.

@WingingWonder I do and I work in a huge firm, I know this sounds pathetic but I don't want work to know. I'd feel like such a loser if I sought help for this when people go through so much worse. I'd feel like I was being dramatic, if you know what I mean?

It's like I just need to get over it now and accept it but I am struggling and I don't know why.

Hi OP ,
I’m sorry this happened to you .
I live in London and use the underground everyday.What time of day was this?

@PenguinsRabbits Oh my god, I am SO sorry to hear that. That is awful, truly awful. I'm so sorry. I hope the person they did catch was the right one and he received punishment. Hugs for you, thank you for sharing, I know it must have been hard. Are you still scared to go out?

I have reported to the police, I imagine there is CCTV as this happened on the platform of a central line station. I do doubt they will come back with anything, not much they can do. These men could be anywhere, and have probably sold everything off already.

There’s not a lot worse than someone putting a knife at your back and threatening you. It’s pretty serious and shocking, you’re not being dramatic!

@avamiah This happened between 4.30-4.45pm on a central line station. It was a zone 2 station.

In fact the more I think about it the more shocked I am. On the middle of the platform with witnesses? How did we get to this point, where these scum of the earth types think they can just do that and get away with it??

@CurlyhairedAssassin Thank you for your kind words, I just feel like such a loser right now. It's like how could I not defend myself better? But then I think, what on earth could I do?

I spoke to the BTP and they said this is common. These people work in pairs, one will distract you whilst the other takes what they need.

I’m so sorry, it’s a terrible thing to happen and you are NBU at all, feel whatever it is you need to

Firstly you did totally the right thing!!
If it was a friend you were advising or if you could change anything would you?
I certainly wouldn’t advise holding onto anything or arguing with someone who has a knife to me!
The best advise is to comply and try to calm the situation- so it sounds like you did totally the right thing

With regards to other people - I’m actually genuinely wondering if anyone saw what happened? Perhaps it all happened so fast no one really noticed. But maybe that’s me hoping there’s decent people out there.
Big hugs to you.
Oh and you can google and contact Victim Support yourself, is really recommend them x

We forget/aren’t made aware there is a third reaction to fear-freeze. So it’s, fight, flight or freeze. I would tell yourself you let it go because, at the end of the day, they are just objects you have lost. You are still alive and around for your friends and family. Would you rather defend yourself and be stabbed? I would go and see Gp to ask about post traumatic counselling.

@CurlyhairedAssassin This is what is making me angry with those around me, could not one person step in and help me? I would never let a woman or man ever feel alone if this happened.

These men weren't huge, they were very slim and of little height. Yet here I am at 5'11 and I still got mugged by them. Sigh.

Just be vigilant, I hate to say this and I am in no way a xenophobe or racist but as the BTP informed me, most of these cases are committed by eastern European men and the way they all work is the same. They will have one or two people to distract you by pushing you or touching you and the other will either snatch your property, or if possible take what needs to be taken whilst you're looking the other way.

I was even informed that although I would get the phone blacklisted here, they can still send it back to other eastern European countries and use it there or sell it there. My phone was worth £1200, and practically brand new, so they would be able to re-sell for a couple of hundred.

15YemenRoad,
I regularly take the central line from east London with my 9 year old to Marble Arch and that time is a very busy time .
This was a very serious assault that happened to you and there will be full CCTV of them entering the station and on the platform with you and of them leaving the station by foot or on a train.
The Police will be able to produce a photo of them and I would imagine that somebody can identify them so they cannot do this again .

@Sparklesocks Thank you for your kind words.

@LuluBellaBlue I froze! I think this is why I'm still processing it, I feel like I'm still living it because that moment is like on slow motion right now in my mind. It almost feels surreal.

I know they're items, but you know when you have worked so hard to purchase something and for someone to just take it away from you like that? It's awful. As for my purse, it was a special gift given to me by someone who is no longer here. I also had photos of my niece in my purse which makes me feel sick that they would have seen her.

@Haggisfish You are absolutely right. I just need to make sense of this and let it go. I cannot change anything.

I do still get scared but I moved to the countryside and its really safe here. I never went out in London alone after that happened after dark other than in central London where its busy. I used to get the bus back to my house that went to my front door or taxis. I got £1000 from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board which funded that but the sense it will never happen to you has gone. The police said there was nothing I could have done and its better to hand over things when threatened though he didn't even threaten me just attacked me. Apparently woman he attacked a few days earlier resisted him (and who found my handbag where she was attacked a few miles from where I was attacked) and he slashed the crowbar across her face and police thought she would be permanently scarred.

As far as I know he was never caught though could well have been caught for something else. I don't think there's anything you could have done. Police in my case reckoned he was looking for young women by appearance and driving miles round to find similar looking girls / young women. It's really bad no-one helped you - I had lots - a family who let me in their house including a doctor and a man who offered to chase after him in his car. Maybe people were scared. Police thought it likely he was on drugs.

I managed to work in London for another 15 odd years, marry and have kids, nice holidays etc but still have the injuries from it and still scared of going out in dark alone in cities. The police were very nice and work were lovely. Hope you get good support from your work and friends.

@avamiah Oh I seriously hope they are able to locate them, just so that they can never do this to someone else again. The police have all the information I could give and I had specific times as I had looked at my watch before it happened so I am hoping that maybe something may come from this.

I will never get my property back but I do hope they are caught and are charged.

What a world we live in. I mean if they were desperate for cash, I thought you could have asked, I would have helped if I could. I try and do my best by people but this just really hurts.

My purse and handbag were found so you may still get them back.

Think the police also had victim support who may be able to help.

It's normal to be terrified if threatened with knives. It is a really awful thing to have happen.

OP there is no way you can wish or imagine you could have done anything different without the possibility of something more terrible happening. I’m so sorry for this. I can only imagine I would be absolutely past myself unable to get over it. I still won’t go into our garage after nightfall as my car was premeditatedly broken into. It’s scared me that clearly someone was watching and came prepared. I’m so so sorry. Would you consider therapy? You could fall into PTSD. xo

@PenguinsRabbits My heart breaks for you. Isn't is disgusting how these people can do something like this and then we are the ones left with the long term implications. They carry on living their life as normal and we suddenly have found everything has changed.

You sound extremely brave and I am so sorry for what you went through. Have you ever been back to London again?

I hope every person who was attacked by him is doing better and I hope bad things never come your way again and that good things surround you in abundance.

Unfortunately I do not have a good support network at all. I am that person that is there for everyone (pathetically) but no one ever is there for me. It is something I am working on, I am trying not to get used by everyone anymore.

15YemenRoad,
Did you not report it straight away after they did this at the Station?
This was a busy peak hour time, trains and the platform would of been busy?

@PenguinsRabbits Oh I'm so glad you were able to. You got your things back with a lifetime fear, all because of this one person and his disgusting actions. Here's to better, healthier, happier, braver times.