Mugged - AIBU?

[15YemenRoad]

I am not a new poster here, I have just NC for privacy reasons.

Last week on my way to a meeting I was mugged at knife point at the train station. Two men stood either side of me, one kept pushing me and when I asked him to stop he said sorry. Next thing I know, he has a knife pressed into my back and the person to the other side of me grabs my purse and phone and runs off.

I have had an extremely difficult year and this has truly set me off. I keep replaying what I could have done different so that they would not take my property. I am driving myself insane going over it again and again and again, just trying to make sense.

The train station was not packed, but there were people. I guess my AIBU for feeling some anger that not even one person came to see if I was okay or even attempt to call for help? Nothing, not one person acted.

I've lived in London all my life, and I've never truly feared such things but currently I am a mess and I don't really know what to do. I do not have a supportive family unfortunately so it's just me trying to figure this out. Right now I am just driving myself insane with it all.

I have logged it with the BTP but realistically I know there's nothing that will really ever come of this.

I'm sorry for sharing this, I just wanted to put it out there hoping I could at least make some sense of all this.

Thank you for your time if you read this.

How terrifying for you Yemen.

I was mugged many years ago in London - was pulled to the ground and had my bag snatched. It was dark and there was nobody around apart from a couple on the other side of the road. I can remember as clear as anything lying on my back in total bewilderment and seeing them stop, turn, look at me, then carry on walking ....

I was 23, new to London and couldn't believe that they just ignored me. And that's what I remember most about an incident that happened over 30 years ago. Not the physical pain or the anxiety of how to get home with no money or way of contacting anyone - just the image of them looking at me and then going on their way 🤷‍♀️.

So I do understand how that aspect will be playing on your mind. And also I think at that time of day on a reasonably busy time of day it must be very hard to accept something like that could happen - even in London. But really, there wasn't anything you could have done.

I'm so sorry this happened to you and so sorry no one can to help.
You couldn't of done anything differently, although those around you should have done. Some people are awful.
I fell over quite badly at 9 months pregnant in a very busy London station at rush hour and people practically stepped over me making it even harder for me to get up.
My mum who is 75 had a really bad fall again in a London station and again no one came at all.
I'm a Londoner but have lived in other cities and

Posted too soon. I meant to say people don't seem to behave like that in many other cities.
I hope things improve for you soon!

I was also mugged in London. Over a decade ago. I was helping a very drunk friend home from her birthday drinks we probably both looked drunk as I was staggering under her weight as I supported her, but I had to work the next day so hadn't been drinking. I initially fought back and we had a tug of war over my handbag. The strap broke and the bag fell on the floor between us. I remember thinking that if I bent down to pick it up he could kick me in the head. So I just let him run off with it.

Mugging is a horrible crime. For me the best therapy would have been catching the bastard, but of course that didn't happen. The first thing he did with my cards was use them to buy Cristal in a club in Brixton. He wasn't someone in need trying to feed his family. Just an arsehole showing off with my money (which I got back from the card company). Ten years on I still feel a lot of animosity towards him but not the level of red rage I felt in the immediate aftermath. Time does heal. I didn't have counselling. In fact I found the letters I received offering me support irritating - I wanted the resources to be used for catching the arsehole. But I can see that it's a valuable service for some.

You would not be taking anything from anyone by taking up some therapy. You would be taking control for yourself. Please consider it

I’m so sorry that no one helped. Londoners are known for not talking to each other but whenever something bad has happened I’ve always seen people help. I would guess as another posted said that it all happened so fast and people are in their own world, they may not have noticed.

You can recover from this. Take some positive steps and talk here all you like.

You see, I think you did the right thing! I have a teenage son and live in a big city. We have lots of teenage gangs, knife crime and the likes. We have drummed it into him that he doesn't resist, doesn't put up a fight and he hands over whatever they ask for. It's the safest way.
So, can you think of it in those terms? That you did the best thing and you're not physically hurt.
Still terrifying and awful, but it could have been much, much worse for you.
My friend was car jacked last year. She went through an online counselling programme and it helped her massively. Could you try something like that?
I hope you feel 'better' soon.

15Yemen , please do not feel you are at fault in any way. You did totally the right thing in my view. If you had put up a fight/screamed for help you might have ended up with a knife in your back. Possessions are usually replaceable... backs not so much

You actually did the right thing. Given there was a knife involved, if you had made any attempt to resist you may not be typing this right now.

I had an excellent self defence teacher who told me that things are just things. Getting out of a situation unharmed is more important! Only fight back if they will take your things AND still harm you. You can replace your bag, your money, your id; you can't replace your life. You did the right thing when faced with two men (no matter what size) and a knife! Anyone desperate enough to pull a knife in public is desperate enough to use it.

You have certainly not failed yourself- exactly the opposite actually. You had an awful thing happen to you but luckily you are not physically hurt. I would definitely suggest talking it through with someone. Maybe victim support. I really hope you feel better soon. It’s a traumatic experience to go through.

Op if you froze then it's possible witness might too. This reaction isn't unique to the victim.
Full cctv- CCTV can catch a lot of things but not everything. Career criminals arnt daft they will stage it so their faces won't show they also regularly change their outer clothing so CCTV looses them. They also know the black spots as well.
If they have the gall to rob you they will have the gall to assault witnesses to and intimidate them
Not what you want to hear op. Hope you feel better soon.

You were mugged AT KNIFE POINT! Do not let these bastards win. Of course you couldn't have done more. Your life is worth far more than possessions. My Grandson had a similar thing happen, and he ended up with stab wounds when he refused to hand over his possessions. It wasn't worth the risk he took. I hope you feel better soon.

You're not to blame.
No-one knows how they'll react in a crisis but fwiw you did the right thing!

There were two of them and they were armed. It happened quickly. Fighting back would have been risky, your safety is far more important than property. (Are you insured? You should have a crime reference number which will help your claim).

As for the people on the platform... I bet many did not realise exactly what was happening, and if they did people respond in weird ways to that kind of thing. Have you heard of the bystander effect? It is a recognised phenomenon where even good people don't help when there are lots of others around.
It's not that no-one cares.

I was mugged at (fake) gunpoint in a train station too. Be kind to yourself and do speak to someone. All I can say is it took time, years, for the beating myself up over what ifs and should haves. Something different but frightening also happened recently to me and I didn’t react quickly or the way I expected, if you’re not in stressful situations regularly then I think your mind isn’t primed to react and you freeze/hesitate while you try and process what the hell is going on.

A couple came into the platform while I was shouting at the mugger and it wasn’t until I yelled at them to help that they acted. Found out from them afterwards they thought it was a couples fight, but as pp said it’s usually the bystander effect.

Oh Op how horrible. My dd was mugged last week in Madrid on her way to work at 7.15. They didn't get anything as some people chased them off but they have taken her peace of mind because it happened outside her apartment building. I'm a therapist and there is no way you would be taking from someone else by accessing therapy if you need it. I would recommend either CBT or EMDR to help with PTSD. Mind yourself, it's a very distressing violation to be attacked as you were and your feelings now are totally normal. Pm me if you want to chat xx

This is awful for you Yemen and I'm sorry this happened to you. Please go to the police and the GP, maybe Citizen's Advice may point you in the right direction for support. Don't struggle alone - there is support if you know where to look. Good luck.

OP, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. That must have been absolutely awful. I'm not surprised you are feeling so traumatised. If I were you I would consider getting some counselling and telling your employers. There is nothing weak about asking for support when something terrible happens to you.

I hope they catch the muggers.

Sorry I haven't RTFT, but have you seen how many murders have happened In London this year? There was absolutely nothing wrong with your reaction, infact- I'd say that your reaction most likely stopped you being a victim of a worse crime, with the knife that was held against you.
Theres nothing you could have done better. In that situation, giving up whatever they want, and getting distance between you and them is all that matters.

you did the right thing.

This does happen, and has happened a lot in our area recently. Nice area, middle of daytime, just off from a main road, people are being mugged, just as much their fault as it was yours...none at all. X

Yemen you did nothing wrong, you were the victim of a vicious crime at knife point. http://www.btp.police.uk/adviceanddinformation/ifyoureeavictimmofcrime/howwtoreporttacrime/supporttforvictimssofcrime.aspx please have a look at this link and contact Victim Support

my DH, he felt he had failed to protect us I think and for ages kept talking about what he 'should' have done

Yes very understandable that and he will feel that he should have protected you but it was an unfair fight they were armed you wern't its that simple.

Four scrotes tried to take me and girlfriend on one night many years ago was just driving my old mini along and was pulled over by someone driving past pointing at my rear tyre thinking there was somethimng wrong i slowed stopped and then two of them got out of theiri car came walking back to me one had what looked like a cosh or similer . I thought this isnt right and he came up to the drivers window and smashed it in it was fortunate that we just hadnt got out.

So dropped her into reverse and flew forward knocked three of them flying and the other one fell over. Went to the police station and told them they said the'd had a few instances of that recently and would check out the hospitals and shch never heard anymore of it but dread to think of what would havb happened if i had got out the car!.

Do i regret the injuries i may have caused them?,

Nope not in the slightest!

As to knife crime the judicary and politicos are failing us a knife is just an effective weapon as a handgun why not a simple life sentence for using one?. Proper life too not this out after a few years

Sorry if this may be upsetting OP not intended at all!.

Thank you. I don't really go to London now but fine to PM me. I felt bad for not attacking man who hit me over head with crowbar back (although was seeing stars and blood coming out of my head) but police told me one don't risk it your life is far more important than your possessions and two it will make him more likely to be increasingly violent to his next victim. They said as his previous victims had resisted / attacked back that's why he would have just attacked me with no warning and was becoming more violent. Obviously no-one's fault but his but made me feel better I didn't attack back.

I was just carrying two bags full of shopping at the time and remember thinking what can I attack him with the roast beef. Decided to scream for help instead and that's a lot more sensible thing to do. But its hard in the moment, you have seconds to think. I would seriously consider counselling when you are ready. Other thing I did was limit valuables I took out though on that day I literally had £12 on me so wasn't the valuables. Police said all the girls / women looked identical, lived in similar flats and all worked in central London and they knew exactly what I would look like before they saw me. There was another case were man was attacking women wearing leather gloves by us.

Yemen You absolutely did the right thing. Thank god you weren’t stabbed, which they would have done without hesitation if you’d resisted. I’m sorry no one stepped in to help you afterwards, that’s really awful for you no matter what the reasons may be.

Please be as kind and compassionate to yourself now as you would be to a friend in your situation. You did the right thing in a horrible situation

Please don't think that this was your fault, or that you should have done more to protect your property. A handbag, purse, phone can always be replaced.

Letting people know that this happened to you IRL doesn't make you weak.

I am sure that if you speak to police there will be some one in victim support who you can chat with.

I'm sorry that nobody helped you.