AIBU to consider a bedwetting alarm?

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My son became dry at night at around 3.5. He had the occasional accident but 9/10 nights he was dry. We ditched the nappies, woohoo! Fast forward a few more months, around when he turned 4 he started wetting again. That was 18 months ago and it hasn’t let up. For a while he was down to 3-4x/week but now it’s every night. He sleeps right through it til the morning and is not upset or embarrassed, but he does care and he knows we are all hope it will end soon.

Extra info: The wetting re-started around when he began reception but he adjusted easily and is a happy and relaxed kid. If it’s relevant, both my father and I were very late bed-wetters. I’ve heard it can be hereditary but my son clearly has the physical ability to be dry, right?

We lift him every night for a wee and sometimes he is already wet. Even then after when change the bed he is still wet in the morning. We tried giving chocolate buttons on dry mornings but that felt cruel on wet mornings since he can’t control it.

Anyway my amazon searches for bed pads and such have started turning up bedwetting alarms and I’m wondering if this would be an option. I don’t know why an alarm seems unpleasant but at this point we are desperate. He’s never wanted to use those thinly disguised nappies big boy training pants and we haven’t pushed bc it felt like a step backward but we may not have a choice as we are going camping for two weeks in August with v limited access to laundry. We planned this trip 9 months ago and thought surely he’d be sorted by now.

He sleeps on a hospital bed pad with a washable blanket and we have multiple sets but still, I’m not gonna lie, the constant washing and drying (along with all of the other laundry a family of 5 generates) is slowly sucking the life out of me.....

(I enabled voting just to try it— obviously I would love it if anyone would share more detailed feedback)

Wow sorry, I didn’t realize how long that post got!

I used one for both my children, worked like magic!

You sound very calm and patient, it sounds like a reasonable idea. No experience so no idea if it will work!
Getting him dry at night will be good for him, too, not just your washing pile, so you're doing the right thing trying everything you can.

grannycab

How long did it take?

Used this on my DS. Had two wet nights then dry ever since.

Have you looked at the ERIC website? They have really useful info.

Can I ask, how loud are the alarms? Are they likely to wake up other children sleeping in other rooms?

just go back to pull ups. seriously, don't stress.

Used with DD when she was about 7. Miracle cure for bed wetting. Worked in about 2 weeks.

I'm totally with Di11y.

My son used night pull-ups til he was 7. I felt it was better to not make a big deal about his occasional incontinence - so no rewards for being dry, no problems with being wet - cos he had pull-ups and a bed pad. . He got dry in his own time - obviously age 7 as I stopped buying stuff then.

The alarm might work to get him dry quickly, but is there any research on the other effects of it? Like what if you had an alarm that set off when you snored, or ground your teeth? Yup, might cure you, at least temporarily - but at what price

Thanks for the great advice. We’re going to give the pull-ups a go and see how he reacts and how they work. I am also off to the ERIC website — who knew there were so many of us out there? The thing I find so strange about our situation is that my DS was dry for almost six months. I was not dreaming this. I have double and triple checked with my DH and my mum who stays with the kids a lot.

@grannycab I would also be interested to know more about your experience with the alarm.

@ChristmasFluff you raise an interesting point — although I would buy a snore alarm for my DH in a heartbeat!

We got a bed wetting alarm from the school nurses at 5 as DS was showing no signs of being dry at night and actually soaking through pull ups. We had maybe two weeks, on and off, of accidents and he’s been reliably dry since. Much better than my 6yo DD who went dry herself overnight at 2 and randomly still pees the bed 😂

You were a late bedwetter. Your dad was. It’s hereditary. Your son has inherited it from you. The period of dry is a red herring.

Put him in pull ups. Stop stressing. Relax. He will sense your anxiety and that isn’t fair. When his body is ready, he will be dry. Don’t do an alarm so young. He’s five and a half and life is exhausting. Let him sleep peacefully all night, nice and dry in pull ups. Sleep is vital for his overall development, including but not limited to being dry.

I was a late bedwetter (8 I think). An alarm at 7 woke everyone bar me. Advice then was no night nappies so I was changed 2/3 times a night. Because I was tired I slept even heavier and slept in wet. Sometimes my skin burned. My mum deeply regrets heeding that silly advice.

I have two kids. Both bed wet. It’s hereditary and I was prepared for it. We are totally chilled. One got dry at 7 going on 8 but still has the odd random accident a propos of nothing. The other is still very wet at nearly 8. Went to GP recently just to check and she said we were doing all the right things : not making an issue out of it, using pull ups and drinking loads in the day to stretch and challenge the bladder.

Please chill out for at least a couple more years before you disturb his sleep any more. Let the poor thing sleep!!

I would talk to your GP and maybe ask for a referral to a urologist, although he may be too young.
We used one a few years later but there had never been any dryness.
We also had to make sure dc was going to the bathroom every two hours, there are special watches with multiple alarms for this and drinking quite a lot of water during the day. School had to support both of these actions.
Too little water and holding wee in during the day are both potential big problems.
You also have to check poo to rule out constipation adding to the problem.
Then making sure there was no caffeine or fizzy drinks being drunk.
Then two pees in quick succession before tucking down.
Then alarm.
It took a couple of months for us but was so worth it for school trips etc.
Sorry for the essay

All the reception kids I know have periods of dryness and periods of bed wetting. They need to produce a certain hormone to be dry at night (not sure which one but presumably the one that slows the production of urine during sleep). Perhaps this just isn't consistent at first? Whatever the reason, making a fuss is likely to be counter productive. We just stick my DS in overnight pants until the phase is over again.

We used an alarm for my almost 5 year old. He agreed to it and was happy to wear it which was important! Took about 2 weeks to
work, although we kept using it another 2 weeks or so to be sure. It was one that clipped to his pants. A bit fiddle so he often needed help with it and I did hear it go off so look for an easy use one.

My ds age 6 and ds age 4 are still in pull ups with no sign of drying up! It worries me but I have heeded the advice and simply use pull ups/ insist on a pee before bed. I am hoping the hormone kicks in soon. May consider alarm if still going on once ds1 is 7. Good to know we are not alone

Don't use pull ups - they just train the subconscious that it's OK to wee while asleep.

Don't do "lifting" either - that will just delay his brain developing the skills it needs.

There are multiple issues and it's not unusual for several to apply.

1. did DS have a growth spurt? It's not unusual that the glands that make the vasopressin hormone (which suppresses urine generation during sleep) can make enough for a smaller body but can't keep up after a growth spurt. A GP can prescribe a synthetic equivalent until the glands catch up.

2. is his bladder being challenged enough during the day? Try to up his liquid intake as much as possible in the mornings and up till lunch. Less in the afternoon and evening. Try to stretch the duration between when he first says he needs a wee to when he goes. Reward being able to hold it for longer.

3. the bed wetting alarm is only really useful if the issue is that the brain is too deeply asleep to respond when the bladder sends a signal when it's full. It can work, but may be less helpful if the above other issues are contributing to the cause.

Reward being able to hold it for longer.
I would really double check this advice before following, our dc's urologist was clear that regular toilet breaks were an essential part of the process.
I asked about training to hold and she drew me a little diagram explaining how the bladder just got tired and wouldn't work as well during the night. She explained it wasn't a muscle that benefits from training it just got tired and saggy.
We were told dc need to visit the bathroom every two hours even if they didn't want to go.
But your dc is still very young and still settling into school.

@HigaDequasLuoff interesting post, thanks. My son is about to start school and nowhere near being dry at night. He has nappy pants but it's like he wees in them out of habit. He's still fairly young so we've been relaxed but I'm wondering how long it will go on for and what we could do about it. He'd never had a dry patch though.

DD1 slept through the alarm. The only person it woke was me. She was wet until she left home at 17. However, she also had mis-managed bladder problems, which didn't help.No one else in the family has had this issue. You just have to keep calm. I would use pull ups while on holiday - it will make your life a lot easier. You can decide if you want to continue with this once you are home again.

It is hell on wheels. You have my sympathy.

My 10 yr old daughter had occasional bed wetting until only a few months ago. She was dry at night between 2.5-4 until she started school. My dd attends paeds yearly for check ups due to having only 1 kidney. The consultant has suggested desmopressin at last 3 appointments but I felt unhappy artificially interfering with her kidney function given her situation. I instead requested referral to an enuresis nurse. The nurse met my daughter twice, they went through the causes, created goals and put a plan in place including the use of an alarm. I don’t know whether it worked or whether my dd would have turned a corner anyway, but she is dry since. My 7 yr old has the same issue, she wears pull-ups at night, I haven’t gone any further with her as yet.

Definitely reasonable to try an alarm. They don’t work for everyone but when they do work they are often very successful.

I also second previous posters who have said that lifting can actually make befwetting worse as children rarely wake fully and so it just reinforces wetting without fully waking. The ERIC website is a good resource for advice on strategies that do and don’t work and how to promote good bladder health.

Befwetting is hard and can be miserable but it is still fairly normal at 5 (most doctors won’t refer children to the enuresis clinic until at least 6 or 7) and even more so if you were also a late wetter. I wet nightly well into my teens and less frequently beyond that so I’m not expecting 6yo DD to be dry any time soon. Unfortunately secondary bedwetting (bedwetting after a period of dryness) is not really any better understood or any easier to treat than befwetting in a child who’s never been dry. As an adult and post-birth I’ve had a couple of periods of several months where I went back to wetting nightly and I find I just have to ride it out.

If after trying the alarm it doesn’t work for your DS at this moment in time then I would recommend going back to pull-ups as they really are do much more comfortable and less hassle compared to waking up in cold wet sheets every morning. Maybe then wait six months, following the advice on the ERIC website such as drinking more in the day, not lifting etc and if the problem is still there try the alarm again.

It took my eldest 2 weeks and my youngest 3 weeks to be totally dry. I just woke them up when the alarm went off if they didn't wake themselves. It was worth the few nights of broken sleep to have no more night time washing.

Both of mine were 7 or 8 years old as we were told that was the ideal age.