AIBU to consider a bedwetting alarm?

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My son became dry at night at around 3.5. He had the occasional accident but 9/10 nights he was dry. We ditched the nappies, woohoo! Fast forward a few more months, around when he turned 4 he started wetting again. That was 18 months ago and it hasn’t let up. For a while he was down to 3-4x/week but now it’s every night. He sleeps right through it til the morning and is not upset or embarrassed, but he does care and he knows we are all hope it will end soon.

Extra info: The wetting re-started around when he began reception but he adjusted easily and is a happy and relaxed kid. If it’s relevant, both my father and I were very late bed-wetters. I’ve heard it can be hereditary but my son clearly has the physical ability to be dry, right?

We lift him every night for a wee and sometimes he is already wet. Even then after when change the bed he is still wet in the morning. We tried giving chocolate buttons on dry mornings but that felt cruel on wet mornings since he can’t control it.

Anyway my amazon searches for bed pads and such have started turning up bedwetting alarms and I’m wondering if this would be an option. I don’t know why an alarm seems unpleasant but at this point we are desperate. He’s never wanted to use those thinly disguised nappies big boy training pants and we haven’t pushed bc it felt like a step backward but we may not have a choice as we are going camping for two weeks in August with v limited access to laundry. We planned this trip 9 months ago and thought surely he’d be sorted by now.

He sleeps on a hospital bed pad with a washable blanket and we have multiple sets but still, I’m not gonna lie, the constant washing and drying (along with all of the other laundry a family of 5 generates) is slowly sucking the life out of me.....

(I enabled voting just to try it— obviously I would love it if anyone would share more detailed feedback)

We used one when my eldest DS was around 9 or 10. It took less than 2 weeks and he has been dry ever since.

We used one for my 6 year old son. It was also one of the ones which clipped onto pants and then the alarm bit clipped in oh top up nearer his ear. It woke the whole house but he was dry in 3 weeks

He's not yet 6, bedwetting is still completely normal at this age, even if he's had a period of dryness. Get him back in pull ups, don't stress, and wait for the next dry spell of at least a couple of weeks before you put him back in pants.

"Don't use pull ups - they just train the subconscious that it's OK to wee while asleep"

^^ utter rubbish! Dryness at this age is hormonal. Until the hormone develops, they will wet. They may have dry spells, but it's just that.

I get that people stress about it when other kids have been dry since two etc, but honestly it's normal! No lifting, no restricting drinks. Just wait it out

Almost exactly our story!

DS is 8 and mostly stopped now. Alarm didn't work for us. He has grown out of it I guess. Waterproof mattress and duvet protector, patience, alarm clock for 7am. Wee before bed. Routine. Over tired going to bed = wet for us.

Keep strong.

Similar here. My DD was dry at night from age 2 and on starting school she started wetting the bed most nights.

I have involved her school nurse as she's nearly 8 now. School nurse was great and I've learnt a lot. She said that once a child has learnt to be dry at night, that it's not hormone related and that it's most likely either because of constipation, an underlying water infection or (the most likely option) not drinking enough during the day and their bladder being too small.

We measured her fluid intake and output for 3 consecutive days and the school nurse reviewed it. It showed that her bladder capacity was no more than 125ml. No idea whether this was normal or not but the idea is to increase the capacity. To do this children need to drink between 1 litre and 1.5 litres of water a day (milk doesn't count and hot chocolate and brown drinks make bed wetting worse as they irritate the bladder). So the idea is you give 6 drinks a day or 2 drinks bottles for school (one morning and one afternoon) and no drinks 90 mins before bedtime. Then they need to go to the toilet before/at bedtime and then again after story to make sure bladder is fully empty. Whatever you do, do not lift during the night. I know it's hard but he won't learn otherwise. We were waking our dd at about 10pm and taking her to the loo but school nurse said not to. It takes at least 3 or 4 months of doing all of this to see an improvement. We've been doing it for about 2 or 3 months and it's improved a bit. School nurse will measure input and output in a month or so. They also look at possible constipation as all can appear normal but compaction is pressing on the bladder.

I can definitely relate to the bedding issue and it is exhausting constantly washing. My advice is to get some good waterproof mattress protectors and some extra bedding. Change during the night and then put onto wash in the morning. Anything else is far too exhausting.

Get in touch with his school nurse. I didn't think they had one but they do. She's based off site and is shared with other schools.

We used an alarm - it had a setting to vibrate rather than make noise and that really worked on my son (who's 7). I was convinced that we were just going through the motions and that it was either down to very heavy sleep (which is an issue - he is near impossible to wake) or lack of hormone, but I was completely wrong!

We've been going for a few weeks and have gone from never a dry night (until 7 and 2 months-ish) to mostly dry in the night with the odd slight wet spot. He is waking up to wee without the alarm going off and has been pretty much dry since about 2 weeks in.

I started sleeping with him to help him when the alarm went off (make sure he woke up and went to the loo, helped him change pyjamas and bed etc) but after about a month, he was dry enough and reliable enough not to need that.

I was so sceptical about the alarm (happy to post which one it was if anyone wants a vibrating one!) and really thought we were just doing it to 'prove' to the hospital that we were trying, so I am thoroughly amazed at the results. It's definitely worth a try and, while I agree with PPs that sometimes children just aren't ready, it's not always as simple as waiting for them to be dry themselves without intervention.

I used one with my DS when he was 5/6 and although it didn’t cure him (he still occasionally wets now at 7), it did seem to break a pattern where it was happening full-scale every night, and definitely got him into the habit of waking to go to the loo during the night. He never felt bad about wearing it and it didn’t feel like a punishment - in fact I think he liked the security of knowing it would wake him up. And enjoyed not having a wet bed every morning! I had to dig it out and start using it again after a period with a lot of changes and sleeping in strange beds when the wetting began again but he agreed readily to it so it didn’t traumatise him too much! Definitely worth a try.

I think he's still young. There is some hormone which doesn't come in for some children until around 6,7,8.

I asked for referral for my DS to enuresis clinic when he was around 7. Things I remember are that they checked his bladder capacity, gave advice on best drinks to have and timing e.g. Drink a lot during day and less in evening, not dark colour squash or cola.

Lifting a child at night isn't helpful as they just get used to continue weeing in their sleep- same as pull-ups which are a lot less stressful.

We had an alarm for a while, I think it had some success but I know DS hated it.

I think that DS became dry around 8 years old as his body matured. I know I worried a lot about this and tried different things (including joining MN for advice!!) but all in all I think nature took its course.

We're thinking of getting one of these for DS.

Can anyone recommend one?

He's got ASD and has sensory issues, which are most comfortable to wear? They're not cheap! I'm worried we'll spend a fortune then he'll refuse to use it!

I used one for DS aged 8 - he was wet every night. It took 2 really bad weeks (wet twice nightly) and then 2-3 months more of the odd accident a week and dry ever since. he kept the alarm on once dry for another 3 months. dry ever since.

I recommend doing it at the start of the summer hols so broken sleep doesnt impact school and he can sleep in a bit in the mornings if needed.

Going to do the same with DS2 (7) this summer.

we used the Wet Stop 3 - £30 on amazon.

I was very relaxed with my dd1 and used pull ups but she was still wet at night by 8.

She was getting upset with it and had a couple of sleep over invitations which she wanted to go to but felt she couldn't.

We were referred to an enuresis clinic who advised against lifting and put us on the waiting list for an alarm.

To save time - I bought one from amazon. It worked completely by the second week.

I'd recommend buying one - I wish I had done so earlier.

We used the Dry Easy one which is about £30 on Amazon. You can clip it on to pyjamas or use the armband to attach it and there is a choice of sounds, vibration, or combinations of the two, so it's a pretty flexible option. The clip goes on the outside of the pyjamas and detects moisture so sets it off at the first sign of wetness. You thread the wire up from the clip to the alarm (we went underneath pyjamas to stop it catching on anything) and it's pretty simple to use.

www.amazon.co.uk/DryEasy-Bedwetting-Control-Selectable-Vibration/dp/B00LX0OV2E?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

My DD is 5 and a half and has never been dry at night. Daytime toilet training was a breeze but she has always needed a pull up at night and it is heavily wet on waking even though I make sure she does two wees before bed. I hear what everyone is saying about "just relax, it'll happen when it happens" but it's difficult once your DC becomes aware that others their age are dry at night and don't have to wear a pull up. I'm dreading the start of sleepover invitations and school trips as I know she would hate to miss out. I am considering an alarm now but also have a baby in the house and worried it'll wake them too.

I would go back to pull-ups.

My DD 8 was also dry before she started school.

Completely regressed immediately, although she seemed to settle well. She was wetting day & night, within weeks, it was every day & every night.

When she started in year 4, the day wetting just stopped. She still wets at night.

We tried the alarm. It never woke her, I had to sleep in her room & wake her up 3-4 times a night. It was like having a new born again!

We were both exhausted & I was so relieved after a week she said she’d had enough.

She has been on medication for a while now. That’s not working either. Oxybuytin & Desoprethin.

We have an appointment at the incontinence clinic in Wednesday when I’m going to suggest we just stop. I don’t like her taking medication, especially when it doesn’t work! I can’t go back to the alarm, I can’t cope on so little sleep again.

She wears pull ups, has done for around 3 years (after I got fed up of washing her quilt every day!). She has sleepovers, residential trips. She knows it’s something she can’t help, & so luckily doesn’t get embarrassed about it.

She turns 9 in August.

A bedwetting alarm worked miracles for my 8yo and she was dry in a week after only a handful of dry nights in her life before that, but I wouldn't use it on a much younger child personally, it's quite upsetting for them when it goes off. We used pull ups until she was ready to try the alarm (I offered when she was 7 but she wasn't keen, offered again a while later and she wanted to try it).

My nearly 9yr old is still wet at night, she's being investigated for an overactive bladder at the moment. She too was dry for about 6 months at 3.5.

Night dryness is normally hormonal, so we have had no concerns using pull ups.

Can I ask, how loud are the alarms? Are they likely to wake up other children sleeping in other rooms?

I sleep with my door open and DS door open, it's loud enough to wake up me or DH, when DS was still wetting himself he would be half asleep with his hands over his ears, so I would change his bottoms and replace the incontinence sheet (you can get a cheap pack of 25 on Amazon) then he would just roll over back to sleep again.

I think other children would hear it but probably not enough to wake them up completely. A few times if it didn't wake me up it would wake up DH and he would wake me up (he obvs wouldn't think to go sort out DS himself )
Anyway, you can change the volume or set it to only vibrate on the one we have.

I still attach it at night but he hasn't wet the bed in weeks now! Thinking of not using it anymore. He was still wetting by the end of week one but then it stopped. (I'm knocking on wood now).

They work. They're amazing.

Out of interest, when people say 'pull-ups' do you mean specifically the Huggies PullUps? We use Pampers nappy pants, I always thought the Pull Ups were more expensive but I guess they look less like nappies?

My son is starting to reach the age where he'll notice people commenting; we stayed at a friends' (their kid is his best friend) and the friend asked why my DS was wearing a nappy :(

Out of interest, when people say 'pull-ups' do you mean specifically the Huggies PullUps?

I think it's just used to indicate any nappy that you pull on rather than strap them into. My DD (5.5) generally has the supermarket own brand ones but the size 6 are getting a bit snug now and they don't seem to do them in larger sizes so will have to switch to Huggies soon which are a lot more expensive.

My kid was about 8. He hated wearing pull-ups at night and stopped going to sleepovers because of it. I took him to the doctors just to check there was nothing wrong and she recommended the sleep alarm. Bought it (in Argos or Boots I think), and he was dry in a week. He was very motivated though. I don’t know if it makes a difference.

My son was dry for quite some time aged around 4/5. Then wet until 8. He just wore pull ups. We did try an alarm a couple of times but it woke the entire house apart from the bedwetter. I think you just have to wait.

I tried this with my 6 year old and he hated it and it upset him, we tried lots of other things (lifting etc) and then I decided he will do it in his own time put him back in pull up type things and a few months later he did it all y himself and has been dry ever since (now 9). I did a lot of research and it is all to do with a development of a hormone and until it develops they cannot control their bladders at night

He’s not going to be ready until the hormone he needs is produced I believe. Put him in pull ups, way easier, and not a step backwards. You are creating more work for yourself right now.

Dd1 was still wetting at night at 6 and dd2 was dry (2 years younger) obviously dd1 was upset by this we hadn't taken her out of pull ups as she had never had a dry night in her life. Drs all said she will get dry in her own time, however one told us about bed wetting alarms and said if it continues past 7 we should try it.
We decided to give it a go early as she was upset that her little sister was dry and she wasn't. 3 nights is all it took first night she was soaked, second night she was slightly wet third night she was dry. We kept her with it for another week to be sure but she has never needed it again and it was just before Christmas she's doing fantastic.