AIBU to consider a bedwetting alarm?

[yellowish]

My son became dry at night at around 3.5. He had the occasional accident but 9/10 nights he was dry. We ditched the nappies, woohoo! Fast forward a few more months, around when he turned 4 he started wetting again. That was 18 months ago and it hasn’t let up. For a while he was down to 3-4x/week but now it’s every night. He sleeps right through it til the morning and is not upset or embarrassed, but he does care and he knows we are all hope it will end soon.

Extra info: The wetting re-started around when he began reception but he adjusted easily and is a happy and relaxed kid. If it’s relevant, both my father and I were very late bed-wetters. I’ve heard it can be hereditary but my son clearly has the physical ability to be dry, right?

We lift him every night for a wee and sometimes he is already wet. Even then after when change the bed he is still wet in the morning. We tried giving chocolate buttons on dry mornings but that felt cruel on wet mornings since he can’t control it.

Anyway my amazon searches for bed pads and such have started turning up bedwetting alarms and I’m wondering if this would be an option. I don’t know why an alarm seems unpleasant but at this point we are desperate. He’s never wanted to use those thinly disguised nappies big boy training pants and we haven’t pushed bc it felt like a step backward but we may not have a choice as we are going camping for two weeks in August with v limited access to laundry. We planned this trip 9 months ago and thought surely he’d be sorted by now.

He sleeps on a hospital bed pad with a washable blanket and we have multiple sets but still, I’m not gonna lie, the constant washing and drying (along with all of the other laundry a family of 5 generates) is slowly sucking the life out of me.....

(I enabled voting just to try it— obviously I would love it if anyone would share more detailed feedback)

I know others have said this already, but I think I'd go back to pull-ups as well.

I know how you feel: DD is older than your son (6.5 now), and wore pull-ups until recently. She was desperate not to wear them so we spoke to the doctor, who said that although she acknowledged that lifting isn't always recommended, she'd tried it for her son and it was helping. So we do lift, but we make sure DD is awake (light on, make her walk to the loo etc). I don't think she'd get through the night dry without us doing this but she sometimes gets up a second time on her own, or before we go to lift her.

Anyway, this is a longwinded way of saying we waited for a long time before going without pull-ups (DD is coming to the end of Yr 1). So if you go back to them for a bit, and your son is okay with that, it really doesn't matter. They don't even consider it a medical problem until age 7 anyway.

The fact that alarms work in a high % of cases suggests that bedwetting is not JUST a hormonal thing.

Both my DSs were late bedwetters (DS1 very deep sleeper, wet until 12). We tried the clip-on alarms and both hated the feel of them. We then invested in the Dr Sagie mat alarm and it worked brilliantly. It took DS1 a couple of months to be completely dry. DS2 was dry within a week. This alarm is expensive but it was so worth it for us. it included online support for first child - we didn't bother to renew subscription for DS2 - just used what we had learned the first time (training to wee and interrupt the flow and then start again, etc.)

I honestly thought that my son was going to need meds - not a single dry night until way past 7 and regularly weeing so much that he leaked through the largest size of nappies we could get hold of. I was convinced that the alarm wouldn't work because either he slept so deeply that he would always wake up after the point of no return, or because he wasn't making the hormone and would rely on the alarm forever.

But the alarm worked wonders within weeks - the chances that the hormone just kicked in coincidentally while we were trying it are slim to none, so as someone who was super-sceptical I am now a complete convert. So, as someone who has previously waited for years for hormones to show up and deal with the situation, I would never hesitate to try an alarm!

I would deffo recommend it. It worked for us really quickly and meant an end to all the laundry which was doing my head in!

@yellowish
All of mine were dry day and night for at least a year before starting school. All started wetting the bed when they started reception. They were shattered and slept through it.
We went to a clinic who gave lots of tips including upping the amount they were drinking during the day. (This wasn't a problem at nursery or when home with me but definitely was at school as they were so much busier.) Used the alarm for one of mine, others out grew it.
I did use pj pants though; the urine began to affect their skin as they were waking in wet beds and so lying in it. :(

I've ordered one! I'll let you know how it goes...

Sorry to say the alarm didn’t work for my son (7) so no I wouldn’t recommend it.

He’s not going to be ready until the hormone he needs is produced I believe. Put him in pull ups, way easier, and not a step backwards. You are creating more work for yourself right now.

Sorry PP but this is wrong. I have checked this out with the professionals and once a child is dry at night they have already produced the hormone. The hormone doesn't then regress. Regression is due to other reasons. School nurse and doctor both said not to use pull ups for older children as they need to recognise the feeling of being wet and when to go, especially if they have been previously dry at night. Bed mats and waterproof sheets are fine of course.

In OP’s case they are not using pull ups, so the problem is why the regression. One question, OP; was he sleeping through without being wet before, or was he waking up in the night to have a wee on his own initiative?

Washable pullups are good. But bulky. I got some fab ones from America off itsy.

The GP tried to refer my son but it was refused on the basis it was in the boundaries of normal until age 7 so he was too young for a referral. I think nappies are the best option for a child too young.

Your DS is still young. My DS1 started occasional bed wetting after starting school (had been dry from 4). It's a big adjustment, there may be some mild anxiety, nothing serious kids can become anxious about seemingly minor things.

I would listen to the pp's suggesting to get a good mattress protector, have spare bedding and pyjamas handy but out of sight. Make sure a nightly wee is a bed time routine just like teeth brushing and a bedtime story. Pull ups are a good idea but I do understand if you want to avoid as you feel it is regressing, but you do have to make a firm decision, pull ups or not because swapping back and forth will not be helpful. It is still in the normal range at your DS age, but, if you are concerned keep record of wet/dry nights as if there is an issue that you need to consult a specialist about you can show this to help them determine if there is a pattern.

I received similar advice for DS2 from my FIL, a paediatrician specialising in nocturnal enuresis (bed wetting). I was seeking advice for DS2, whom had had medical history with kidney/bladder issues requiring surgery at a young age. DS2 was mostly dry by 6, completely dry by 6.5.

I hope all goes well for your son.

Can I ask how people go about washing kids' duvets if they've been wee'd on? Here it'd mean a drive to a laundrette I think. I don't have a tumble dryer. Or do the duvets themselves not really get wee on?

My DH was a late dry at night child, as was his Grandad. It is hereditary apparently and my DS has a whole host of urology issues to deal with anyway so I'm a tad worried. DH had the alarm and from what I understand it didn't take long for it to sort the issue. Good luck!