Husband not included me in will

[Finallyfeelstrong]

I’ve just been given a copy of will my husband had done at Christmas.
We have been together for 7 years and married for 1year. He has grown up sons, grandchildren and a son who lives with us as his home life was chaotic. I also have two grown up children and a younger one living with us.
I work full time and husband has a business. When I met him it was only just keeping a float. Since then he has built it into a million pound business. I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their. I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in.
I look after both his and my younger children and raise him as my own. My own child goes to his fathers every weekend and half of every holiday and his son sees his mum for a couple of hours once a week.
Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after. Which is what I also would expect.
The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed, that the business, all the properties, 500k in life insurance will be given to children of his marriage and kept in trust, for his kids and their futures.
That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

So sorry, it's meant to be not the face. Apologies.

think OP is allowed to live in the house she paid [rent towards] for until she dies - at which point it reverts to his kids. She can't sell it either because the money from the sale goes to his kids - so she's be made homeless.

This is illogical. She cannot be 'homeless' if she is allowed to live in the house for her whole life. (until she dies.) You mean she cannot sell it and move elsewhere.

This is quite a common scenario. A family friend was in this situation. She was allowed to live in her DH's home (which she moved into when they married as widow/ widower.)

When he died, and she became too frail to live there on her own, the house was sold and his children received the money. She had some savings from the former sale of her own house (she was widowed) and received his pension.

In the OP's case, she is not in receipt of his pension if he has one, but she has her own pension.

I cannot understand why the OP allowed herself to get into such a situation where she is not a joint owner of any property. Contributing to the renovation of the one house does not automatically mean she owns any part of it, if it's in his name.

This should have all been sorted before the wedding.

"I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their." House 1?

"I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in." House 2?

I'm a bit confused though.

The key to this whole thing, is him doing it without discussion. None of us can know his reasoning if you don’t.

FWIW we have our children together, but there are some assets that in theory of either of us dies neither can sell that particular asset and it will be held for the children only. Doesn’t apply to everything. We have also got a particular nephew (his side), and an ex stepdaughter (my side) that have separate clauses for. Point is that this has al been clear and agreed upon.

My mum and stepdad have wills that do similar to your DH but the difference is that everybody knows, and there are no children involved. Basically, whoever dies first leaves the spouse with everything but they can’t sell property and use the money, only pensions/life insurance to live off and rental income. When the final spouse dies the total left is split evenly between their adult children and we then give or not to our own children ie their grandchildren. I think that’s fair but again nobody is expected to look after me or anyone else, and they met late in life and their assets were both built mostly separately.

Hmm...there are various aspects of this thread that make me a little .

For example, anyone doing a PhD would know it was not written as PHD.

I hope I am wrong.

Anything bought during your marriage is shared assets.. gets some legal advice.

Inheritance, family business and property bought prior to the marriage are exempt.

Given that they've only been married for one year, I expect he's covered all bases.

This is next level fucked up OP. I would seriously consider divorcing this bastard because he doesn't give a fuck about you.

@mummy2017 Anything bought during your marriage is shared assets.. gets some legal advice

well she certainly needs advice but so do you if you believe that.

What belongs to an individual, belongs to them. Marriage does not mean you jointly own each others finances.

In this case, the DH has a business. It includes 15 houses . He is not automatically obliged to bequeath those in his will and neither is the OP entitled to them automatically, or his other assets.

You can leave all your wealth and estate to Battersea Dogs Home if you want. A spouse can contest this but no guarantee of getting anything.

And after 1 year only of marriage, it's not likely anyway.

The trouble with him being so less than generous is that it doesn't encourage you to carry on being so generous, helping him with his lovely houses and families and childcare here and there. The temptation is to cut back on all of that and say 'no, you don't value my input as you don't think I'm worthy of consideration and as a result I'm not available to look after your kids and carry on with all the things I do for you'. And that becomes a rather mean way to live. He's fucked this up.

I suppose it all depends on whether the law views the properties acquired since the marriage as jointly owned even though he has them in his name only.

If they're viewed as marital assets, then he can't leave them 100% to his children.

His Ex sounds awful, but with his behaviour towards you...the way he's happy to use you as a glorified housekeeper and stand in mum, I do wonder if his behaviour is a contributing factor, to what seems like a mental health condition.

No normal caring man who loved you would expect you to look after his child as you do, take on the responsibility after his death and not leave you anything.

The majority should go to his DC in my opinion. If I was a second wife I'd expect that to be the case because he has DC. I wouldn't expect that in a first marriage, or with a man who had children before I met him.

... but to really not leave you more than the house...and that sounds complicated too...is is showing you, you don't mean much to him.

How do you live on a day to day basis in terms of his wealth? As in ..is he generous... do you have access to any money, other than what you personally earn?

Is he kind and considerate as a as a person?

So to give a bit more background I rented the property which was bought by him just after we met. I paid the mortgage and all renovation costs.

No - you rented the property. He used the rent to pay his mortgage and renovation costs like any other landlord. You weren't officially together in any way that could be traced. So you paid that rent for 6 years and he knew full well that if he married you later you'd have a job proving that you had contributed to the mortgage on that house as anything other than a tenant.

The house and rent/mortgage deal was supposed to revert to my being on the house deeds and him taking his off but he has changed his mind since I got married

Well of course. He has you trapped now.
Are you still paying the rent on this property because your children are living there? I'd ask a solicitor what claim you would have on this property if you were to divorce - or has he sewn it all up neatly?

He's a complete arsehole. The only thing is - maybe, just maybe - he intends to rewrite his will in 5 years time, in 10 years time etc where you would inherit more the longer the marriage has lasted.
Though I doubt it somehow - I know someone whose DH was a lot older than her and I think he thought she might be a bit of a golddigger (she was actually.... made a habit of marrying elderly men - tried it on with my Grandad who was 84 but never got anywhere.
Anyway this DH put codicils in the will which were clauses stating how much she would get if the were married 1 year, 2 years, 3 years... etc. before he died.

You need to go to a solicitor and get legal advice. I'd divorce him now (not to get money because you won't be entitled to a hell of a lot and I very much doubt you would get your money back from the "rent") because he is an absolute slimeball - he knows exactly what he is doing. While I think he should protect his children's inheritance, he shouldn't have got married again if he wasn't prepared to make sure his wife didn't end up in financial difficulties when he died.

A person who owns property in their sole name, not jointly with their spouse or anyone else can leave that property in their Will to whomsoever they choose. It is only in the event of an intestacy would property automatically go to the surviving spouse (within certain financial thresholds) and thereafter to other relatives.

The question of whether property is matrimonial or otherwise is relevant in a divorce situation.

@Finallyfeelstrong PLEASE let us know that you are going to see a solicitor ASAP. Please do not rely on the advice you read on here.

I would bring it up with him. Assuming you did not sign a pre nup I would tell him you find this disgusting. He expects you to raise his child if he dies but on what? Also point out if the house you share is not going to be yours you will no longer pay towards renovations or the mortgage as its his. Tell him he needs to review his will or he can review the divorce papers in the post giving you half of everything his got and allomony payments.

@Finallyfeelstrong

You do appear confused over quite a lot of things.

If you are a teacher, you certainly do not have to decide now 'on marriage' who will benefit from your pension when you die.

I had to name the recipient of mine shortly before the pension was paid. You could have another 25 years working before you need to name the beneficiary.

If you are in teaching, and continue, you will receive a pretty good pension if you have a long working history and your state pension too, so even if things stayed as they are now, you'd not be penniless.

@JinglingHellsBells
When he died, and she became too frail to live there on her own, the house was sold and his children received the money. She had some savings from the former sale of her own house (she was widowed) and received his pension.

If she was left the house for her lifetime I think she was badly advised. I mentioned upthread that I knew someone in that situation - it was the mother of a friend, actually. She took a case against the (eventual) legatees, saying that her freedom of movement was unfairly curtailed by the terms of the will. She was awarded IIRC the equivalent to rent elsewhere for the rest of her (projected) lifespan, a mortgage was raised on the house to provide the money to buy her out.

"Also point out if the house you share is not going to be yours you will no longer pay towards renovations or the mortgage as its his."

She pays rent on that house because her adult children currently live in it.

At the family home, she contributes to bills and food only.

@Juells- badly advised by whom? She was left the house for her use in her lifetime and on its sale the proceeds went to his DCs from his 1st marriage. She had savings from the sale of her own home many years previously, and she also received his pension and savings.

I don't see how that is being badly advised. She was unable to live independently so the house was sold and she went into a care home, funded obviously by her late 2nd DH's savings, partly.

JinglingHellsBells

In relation to your post 6months after we met and started dating my child ‘s care became more complex. I was informed it could take a long time for a suitable house and for all adaptations to take place. My now husband saw a house with a large garden to use for the adaptations/renovations for us to live there. I did try to get a mortgage as a single parent but was told my situation and a part time job wouldn’t allow me enough.
I didn’t at that point want a joint mortgage with a man I had met only 6months previously.
So he had wanted to get into property development and said he could get the mortgage easily and on a lower rate, all I had to do was pay the mortgage, the deposit he put down and pay for the renovations. Once he had received his ‘part’ of that outlay Or If at any point I was able to get a mortgage he would sell the house to me minus any payments on the mortgage I had paid.
Hence I paid rent when we started. I thought I had covered any big issues ie we actually didn’t stay together so I didn’t feel trapped; Thinking it had to work or I would lose the house. Then it was decided once we got married I would have my name added to the mortgage with his and we would work out how much I had paid on mortgage and on the ‘bill’ for renovations. They cost a heck of a lot more because it was specifically adapted for my child.
If at that point I wanted to apply for a mortgage in my own name again a settlement figure would have been given so Neither had lost out.
Now that deal has been taken off the table. My oldest children in early 20’s live there and one of his as they all get on well. I still pay the rent on that house so it didn’t become any more complicated.

The other house is the house he has lived in since his parents bought it when he was 16 and left it to him. Now I don’t pay towards anything except normal household bills and groceries.

He does have other extensive assets, and I’m not interested in them. I’m only bothered about the house I lived in and still paying for and that I felt incredibly hurt by him not even thinking about ensuring I was secure if anything happened to him.

Then the MN quizzing my spelling of PhD -as an integral clue that I’m not believable and my post is a hoax; I didn’t realise My SPaG were getting marked? It was my iPhone and predictive text that changed the spelling.

AT the time I left the mistake as I considered the content of my replies more important. What If I had low literacy levels and my SPaG was worse than it is; does that then segregate me from MN posters?

I didn’t think MN had an prerequisite of high academic abilities. I’ve lurked for a long time and I regarded it as a place where issues, problems can be ‘discussed’ and rationality brought into situations. The person doubting I can real if my thesis and findings if that helps!

🤪

Oh Op, I don't actually know what to say - what a shit situation & can't believe he didn't discuss this with you first and make sure that you would be provided for in the event of his death. I honestly don't know what I would do in your situation but given he's gone back on the agreement to put your name on the house deeds, I'd insist on that first. Otherwise I think you'd be better off divorcing him. Sorry!

I don't know what else to add other than he sounds mean. What about the child who needed an adapted home? What provision has been made for them?

They passed away @Myimaginarycathasfleas So sorry for the loss of your daughter Op

My HR department and a rep from the TPS advised me on certain aspects when I started teaching years ago due to my child’s complicated health needs and LLC. They were quite harsh in making me face the situation and have things in place etc. That I had to ensure all forms were filled out correctly and if I passed whilst my child was alive that the portion I had set for her would meet her needs. That if I passed whilst she was alive a higher proportion would be needed for her care and then it would revert to my other children.

I was also told to use the option of buying more years just in case a miracle cure was found or she lived longer, or in the event of a premature death for me, that there was enough without my other children hardly receiving anything. Her condition was incredibly rare so couldn’t predict how long/short her life would be.
I was informed on my marriage that without a form filled in my husband would be allocated pension funds.

I have no qualms about ensuring there is a small pot of money. It would make me feel relaxed I had left something to remind him I had left a gift.
As right now he has large assets, but anything can happen in the future. He might lose everything and has no pension-hence he got into buying properties. But what if others stopped paying rent etc he has to cover all of that!

So I’m not annoyed about him providing for his children but to effectively not think about me is what has hurt me

Teacher here. You're wrong about your teachers pension. Firstly TPS are not allowed to give any advice on pensions at all. Secondly, if you don't nominate a beneficiary, your pension automatically goes to your dependent children.
You've only actually lived with this man for a year. Anything before that is legally just a friendship. You've just paid him rent in his house, he's been your landlord. Now he's your child's landlord. Why are you paying their rent? They should be paying that. He's stated that you can live in that house until death should he die first. Seems reasonable to me. You've been a bit of a mug doing so much financially before you married, but that's not his fault. I should imagine if you did divorce him now you'd get very little as you don't have any dependent children together. Seems like it's a harsh lesson to learn I'm afraid.

Got to admit to being confused about the details, but from what I've understood you are paying the mortgage on the house you previously lived in while the young adults in there live rent free?
Then your DH pays the mortgage on the house you are in. Neither of the houses are in your name?
Agree with others that you are not being treated as part of the team if this was handed to you as a done deal. Your view of your relationship seems very different from your DH's.
Meanwhile, if I have also understood correctly he is a highly leveraged buytoletter, this is a very precarious business and this will situation could have done you a favour to ensure you get focussed on your financial security now because all could be lost at any time let alone in 30 yrs. Time to give up romantic ideas and get serious about looking after yourself.