Husband not included me in will

[Finallyfeelstrong]

I’ve just been given a copy of will my husband had done at Christmas.
We have been together for 7 years and married for 1year. He has grown up sons, grandchildren and a son who lives with us as his home life was chaotic. I also have two grown up children and a younger one living with us.
I work full time and husband has a business. When I met him it was only just keeping a float. Since then he has built it into a million pound business. I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their. I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in.
I look after both his and my younger children and raise him as my own. My own child goes to his fathers every weekend and half of every holiday and his son sees his mum for a couple of hours once a week.
Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after. Which is what I also would expect.
The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed, that the business, all the properties, 500k in life insurance will be given to children of his marriage and kept in trust, for his kids and their futures.
That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

it’s just knowing I wasn’t thought of except to ensure it was safe guarded against me.

That's a very perceptive way of putting it - cutting through all the bullshit.

😳 nice

I never get married couples separating money. But that's prob just because we don't. It's joint money in my eyes when your married

What was his solution as to how you support the child still at home?

He is being v unreasonable

I would want him to have at least thought about my future if anything happened. That the house and cash I put in I receive back for me or my kids. During all these years his mantra when it’s become difficult with time and juggling finances between us ‘it’s for our future-we are building something together’ so lack of time together, his inability to actually help in house or look after his son at all due to his working hours all comes back to his ‘we are doing it for our future’

So I agree his children should get the inheritance but why should I in my old age -hopefully nothing will happen -be left with a small pension only and back to a house my children will occupy, or if that house ever gets sold then I would be homeless.
My pension during marriage is automatically given for him as well.
I’m hurt that he hadn’t given a crap what would happen to me, except making me feel like he views me as a gold digger!
Even in a divorce all I would want is the house signing over that I’ve paid the last 6.5 years towards and him to sign away his claim to my pension.

It's awful anyway, but it's even worse as he's expecting you to be the guardian for his child. But not letting you stay in the house that you live in now and that the children are familiar with. When he has another 14?

He does not love you. How can he when he would leave you nothing .
I would leave divorce and get my share....

How big a deposit did he put into this house that you were paying “rent” on? And is the mortgage now fully paid off?

Where were your own personal assets at the point that you moved into the house that he bought soon after you met?

What exactly were the reasons you got married? In second marriages where children are involved this is something that has to be thought about and discussed very carefully.

Talk to him about it. He probably has not realised the full implications of what he has done or how most people would interpret it. He may not have considered how much you have enabled his high earning by support and childcare. Try not to go in aggressively as he will probably get defensive and mention that you would care for his child anyway (assuming you would), but have concerns about being able to support yourself alone in old age. Perhaps you could suggest him taking out a life insurance policy or pay into some savings account for you as mentioned by PPs

You've been a cheap child minder in the past, and you'll be a cheap child minder on into the future, protecting his children's assets.

That doesn't constitute a loving relationship, it's taking advantage.

Op, you have zero financial security, I think you realise this. I can’t understand why you were living in a different house to him for 6 years until you married a year ago. Could you explain this? You said earlier that the house wasn’t big enough to fit you all in but the usual thing to do is buy a house that IS big enough to fit you all in, not live completely separate lives, in separate houses! If he was working such long hours how much did he actually see you all that time? If that were me I would just feel like I was a nanny to his children and a convenient shag!

It all sounds very strange and I would really like to know WHY you got married.

The house and rent/mortgage deal was supposed to revert to my being on the house deeds and him taking his off but he has changed his mind since I got married
Well he's now shown you what he really thinks of you and how little he values you.

He doesn't give a shit about your financial security - just wants to keep using you as a cash cow and unpaid childminder, housekeeper and general dogsbody.
He doesn't give a shit about the security of your children either.

You've actually been played by him for the whole duration of your relationship.
What i would do is get legal advice of my own - because his will is not actually legally valid.
YOU as his wife have legal rights that he's taken away from you in his will.
YOU have a right to get back every penny of your investment.

He's been using you and playing you for the whole duration of your relationship and now that he thinks he has all the power - he's abusing you even further.
So, what are you going to do about it?

Agree with SavingSpaces. Was the marriage in the U.K.? I would be worried that he had done what Mick Jagger did to Jerry Hall and it wasn’t even legal.....

Cos it just doesn’t make sense to live separately for years then marry all of a sudden and then straight after protect all your assets.

are you from the U.K. yourself?

...but if he won’t budge a little to pay into savings for you/insurance, then I would be consulting a lawyer (without him knowing as he would then think you really were trying to be a gold digger).

Oh dear. Just re-Reading Op. “So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their”

Do you mean you’re STILL paying £650 a month after all these years but the actual mortgage is still only £210 a month? . And you don’t think that this is weird???

Forgive me, but where did you get married, and where are you both from?

Looks like he married you to be the help and look after his young child.

I do think he should leave most of his money to his adult children... but at the very 3, the house you live in should become yours and he should have left some amount of money for you.
The situations where stepmum gets everything is very wrong IMO...especially when she agreed to leave it to the kids on her death.

He can say he wants you to look after his child on his death and become their guardian, but you don't have to agree with this.

Your H sounds like a user.

My God, he'd be gone with that comment. You must be able to see red flags everywhere after that one.
Seek and you'll find, then divorce the cunt, at least you'll get half.

It gets worse. I don’t usually do this but as this is so odd I looked at Op’s previous posts. Their honeymoon was spent with the ex wife and step son by the sound of it.

One of the husband’s houses is lived in by his ex-wife, who apparently pays rent. One wonders how much.

Yes the marriage was in the uk and we are both from England.
I’m 39 and he is 46
This is my first marriage and his second and I simply got married because I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and creating a large bustling crazy family and future together.

When we met I was just completing my PHD part time and working part time.
Due to being a student and classed as high overheads because I had a child with significant medical health needs and a life limiting condition, I was unable to get a mortgage. I had previously left a family ‘mortgaged’ house whilst pregnant with my now 10 yr old, due to terrible DV as he struggled to accept the condition of our child. It wasn’t the DV that gave me the push to leave as I hoped with counselling he could have come to terms with our future and impact of child. But I walked in from work to the screams of my oldest daughter and saw him dragging my oldest child by his neck up the stairs.
I immediately gathered child and medical equipment and left the house. I used all my savings to put down 9mths rent on a house as I didn’t have ages to wait for checks. The landlord said if I paid 6mths it would take a week. I offered 9mths and was given keys the following day.
Due to violence I just walked away from the house and took nothing but what we needed.
Sorry for long story but helps explain my choices.
My child’s condition became serious 7 years ago and I was on the council list for a house that could be adapted for us. I had known my now husband a few months when a property across the road went up for sale with extensive gardens to be able to adapt and renovate for us. He wanted to start buying property so suggested I move in after it was completed. As it was 6 moths in it was as tenant. I was wary of living with a man after what happened before. Also his house couldn’t fit my child and we didn’t meet each other’s children as a couple until we had been together 3 years and I knew we were going to be together.
My child passed away last year and we decided to live together then.

Stop being a mug.
Get legal advice and leave this shit.
You (and your DC) will be left with nothing.
At least for their security get as much as you can.

And I’m sorry for your loss .
It’s terrible to lose a child.

Everyone on here has the finical side covered. But I'd go straight to him now and tell him that upon his death his kid will go back to his mother and not be your problem anymore.

Get legal advice.

I'm sorry about your child OP, how truly awful.

Curly haired assassin

At the time of the honeymoon post last year -my husband had booked to go on honeymoon and take his son and ex wife as she wanted to take him to family in US. The oldest wanted to go and what I hadn’t been told until later - my husband didn’t trust his son with her as She had threatened nearly everyday to harm herself, got knives and tried to slash wrists, neck, piled medications and alcohol in front of her son and for three months prior to our marriage- saying she would kill herself - to punish him for moving to his dads the previously Xmas to have quiet to study for gcse’s. His son wanted to go when she organised for them two and he had begged his dad because he was worried at 14 he would have to deal with her in the us threatening to commit suicide. She would tell him it was his fault because he moved out and he had chosen me over her and he was a traitor and disloyal and when she was dead he could only blame himself, if he loved her he wouldn’t be have left.

Unfortunately my daughter passed away 5 days later so we never went.