Husband not included me in will

[Finallyfeelstrong]

I’ve just been given a copy of will my husband had done at Christmas.
We have been together for 7 years and married for 1year. He has grown up sons, grandchildren and a son who lives with us as his home life was chaotic. I also have two grown up children and a younger one living with us.
I work full time and husband has a business. When I met him it was only just keeping a float. Since then he has built it into a million pound business. I have worked, payed the mortgage and the cost of renovations on the house we bought that I lived in initially as I had all children at home and neither house was big enough. So I lived across the road and paid £650 a month rent as it covered full renovation and the mortgage is £210. I continue to pay the mortgage on that house and renovations and my adult children with one of his live in their. I also pay towards bills and groceries etc in the house we all live in.
I look after both his and my younger children and raise him as my own. My own child goes to his fathers every weekend and half of every holiday and his son sees his mum for a couple of hours once a week.
Anyway I was given a copy of the will my husband wrote after we were married as he had promised his exw that kids would be looked after. Which is what I also would expect.
The will states I’m to be guardian of his younger child, his mum hasn’t been informed, that the business, all the properties, 500k in life insurance will be given to children of his marriage and kept in trust, for his kids and their futures.
That I can live in the house I’ve actually paid for rent free for the rest of my life but can’t sell it etc even though he told me it could be and on death to be split between all our kids
It explicitly states that other than the house I pay for that is already covered in a different clause. Should-my name- benefit from any part of my estate other than the property named.

What do you think about getting legal advice op?

If you're concerned about cost you can pay in instalments over a period of time - this is how I've paid my legal fees. Many firms offer a free first half hour where they look at your case to see if it has legs - if it does they proceed and are paid either out of any resulting monies or, as I said, an instalment plan. Just ask.

Sounds like you are not in a healthy relationship. Please do the Freedom Programme as your earliest - go along to a group. Bless you, this is so hurtful and such a shock.

I'm so very sorry you lost your girl

OP when he gave you a copy of the Will did he ask your opinion?

Did he actually ask you to look after the younger child?

Why aren’t the twenty somethings paying rent? Your paying for your kids - is he paying for his own?

You need some security

Does his approach surprise you or is it typical of his attitude and behaviours towards you during your marriage? It would be a showstopper to me and absolutely destroy trust, to know my DH thought that little of me that he'd ignore my well-being to that extent

This

I'm so sorry for your loss OP

@Finallyfeelstrong I agree with @soontobe60 about teachers pensions. You are mistaken.

I have a teachers pension. I posted before for you that you were mistaken. I have been receiving my pension for a few years and it was only very close to the date of receiving it that I had to nominate a beneficiary.

You are only in your 30s. The likelihood is if you stay married to this man who is older, he will die before you. The stats are in your favour and it's unlikely he'd be alive to get your pension when you are 60.

Are you sure you are telling us the true facts because some of it seems rather odd, to say the least.

My now husband saw a house with a large garden to use for the adaptations/renovations for us to live there. I did try to get a mortgage as a single parent but was told my situation and a part time job wouldn’t allow me enough.I didn’t at that point want a joint mortgage with a man I had met only 6months previously.
So he had wanted to get into property development and said he could get the mortgage easily and on a lower rate, all I had to do was pay the mortgage, the deposit he put down and pay for the renovations

This is so odd.

You weren't paying the mortgage. You were paying him money as his tenant in effect. Could you not see that?

You were dating a man. You needed a bigger home adapted for your daughter. he found such a home when you were dating and suggested he'd buy it and you would pay rent which he'd use to pay the mortgage?

Are you really a teacher? Doing a PhD? Sorry but your posts are so confused and hard to follow.

If at that point I wanted to apply for a mortgage in my own name again a settlement figure would have been given so Neither had lost out.Now that deal has been taken off the table.

I can't believe anyone was so naive as to go into this kind of arrangement with someone they had dated for 6 months. You said you didn't want to take on a joint mortgage with him so soon when in fact that would have been a legal arrangement. Instead you chose to have some half-baked 'promise' without presumably any legal back up - ie a contract drawn up by a lawyer? Madness.

I am terribly sorry about your daughter and it's been hard for you but you have been very naive to have got yourself in this financial pickle. As a teacher you are now surely more than able to get yourself a mortgage and start to build a life for yourself without this man. Get some legal advice.

Not sure how accurate this is but have seen it on mnet several times - if you are paying money towards the mortgage even if you think of it as rent, it’s helpful to label your bank transfers in the notes bit as ‘for mortgage’ or similar rather than rent. That way it’s leaving a trail for a later date as to what you think the payment is for rather than just being rent (that you effectively expect to lose). Not perfect and not guaranteed but a simple thing that might be helpful if he turns around and says ‘oh but you knew you were paying me rent rather than into the mortgage.’

It’s worth making sure all these things that you’ve agreed to - especially where you have invested lots of your own money - are documented - as people can remember things differently at the best of times, and if things show get difficult for whatever reason (or get greedy or decide they don’t want to honour the agreement etc).

@wibbletooth You can call is what you like on your bank debits but that won't make a jot of difference legally. Surprised you think otherwise. The only way to prove money is being spent on a mortgage is to have your name on the mortgage contract. Giving someone else money so they can fund a mortgage in their name is just that. It doesn't give the person any claim whatsoever on the property. Something I am sure this poster's husband knows only too well. She's been duped.

fucksake people. What's it like in that sensible ivory tower.

We've all - well, most - made some huge mistakes in life under the guise of 'love'. Less of deriding the op please. Don't blame the victim.

There is one villain here and it isn't op.

Bereaved op btw. Give her a break ffs instead of chopping her down with a scythe - for what? to make yourselves feel better? Fucksake!

Sorry to talk about you in the third person there op.

I'm sorry you're going through this - it's bad enough without the vicious posts

My husband has an older child and we have agreed that he leaves everything to me and then everything is split between his child and our child when I die or vice versa.

This is the worst way to do it.

Nothing to prevent you or dH from changing your wills after the other ones death to cut out the other child.

The OP is only being given a 'hard time' because factually some of what she has posted appears to be incorrect ( teachers pensions for example). She could start to make her life easier by making her adult children pay for their own rent (why aren't they?) instead of supporting them when presumably they work.

The DH is a bastard and has clearly told her a lot of lies- starting with his assertion that he could get a 'cheap mortgage' to buy/ renovate the house she rented from him. Buy to let mortgages are more expensive than other mortgages. So that was the first lie he told her.

She has been taken for a mug and the sooner she leaves the marriage and supports herself the better.

What's it like up there on that holy hill, Bells?

Op, you posted on the wrong board. There are a lot of vicious types on here, frustrated with a sense of powerlessness irl and only too happy to hack at those who inadvertently wander on to this board - to make themselves feel better, superior, I assume.

Ask for your thread to be moved to Relationships (press the Report button - top right on pc, bottom right 3 dots on mobile). You'll get a more rational hearing there

@springdaffs Myself and another poster who is /w as a teacher have commented that there are some discrepancies between what the OP has posted and what happens with teachers pensions. No pension providers give advice and no HR depts give pension advice-legally, they can't. Given she is asking for advice on her finances, it's relevant to point this out to her. Maybe she misunderstood what she was advised, or has simply not explained it very well here. If you have an issue around that, sorry.

I couldn't be with someone like this... if he genuinely loved you OP, he wouldn't want to see you financially screwed in the event of his death. He, quite rightly so, needs to consider his dc, but he should also be making provisions for you. It would be a deal breaker for me

As more info trickles out I'm not sure that op is being treated that badly really.

She urgently needed a house with specific requirements for her dd, but couldn't get a mortgage. Her bf of six months bought one that was perfect for her, and she paid rent to him.

Her adult dc now live there and she continues to pay rent, although why she hasn't passed this burden to her dc isn't clear.

At some point she moved in with her dp, into a home that he had inherited and was solely in his name, and they got married twelve months ago.

He has made provision in his will for op to have a house rent-free for the rest of her life, which is certainly something that she didn't have before.

If I remarried now, I would also leave everything to my dc, no question, I can understand that.

You can't stay with him now, he has basically tricked you. He agreed to put you on the deeds, now you have just invested in his children.
Get legal advise, discover best financial way forward. Leave

I assume she hasn't passed the burden to the DC because she thought her DH was going to honour their arrangement and transfer the mortgage to her hence she wanted proof she had continuously paid.
Jingle you can't definitively state that he opted for a buy-to-let mortgage and it was more expensive. He may not have opted for a buy-to-let mortgage at all. He could have taken out a first mortgage on it (since he'd inherited his own property and was mortgage-free). He also might have opted for commercial borrowing if he was already planning to have a property business. We can all nitpick on details. It's not particularly helpful is it?

It's the lack of conversation though @hellodarkness rather than the details of the will itself. The Op should have been fully consulted during the process, not landed with a fait accompli that appears to give her no real security & no real thought of her wellbeing at all.

The thing is, there are multiple other threads (and one only last week) where someone bemoans that their father has died and their stepmother has inherited everything.

In this case it is clearly the other way around and the man is very mindful that he does not want to set aside his grown-up dcs.

Dm had a friend who had this arrangement: she had a life interest in the property but her dh's ds from his first marriage would inherit. Actually it worked well because the ds made sure the house was maintained well and expenses relating thereto taken care of.

Nobody should have to "rely" on an arrangement to somehow come to fruition. Who wants to live like that. Anything that isn't formalised won't happen if the shit hits the fan.

That's the reality, the fact this man has spectacularly pulled this stunt on the OP shows he cannot be trusted. Once 2 people commit in marriage, it should change the whole basis of the relationship, it becomes a partnership not two people unilaterally making decisions like wills and then presenting it as a fait-accompli to their unsuspecting partner. The Will is written in a way that the OP is left out of it, out in the cold, with no certainty nor specific provision made for them in the inevitable future when they will outlive their older partner.

No matter what the law states, nor the additional complexity of step- DC, the H has made sure there is nothing there for them - the OP isn't expecting to inherit everything, but nor do they believe they deserve a big fat nothing either! It speaks volumes. No point trying to sugar-coat it. The DH had a choice and has given her an intentional premeditated message "you're fine to be there to do the donkey work, and become the unsuspecting guardian for my DC but you're at the bottom of my priority list, sorry about that"

The house and rent/mortgage deal was supposed to revert to my being on the house deeds and him taking his off but he has changed his mind since I got married

In which case leaving you nothing in his will isn't surprising.

He went back on his agreement as soon as you got married and it seems you've accepted this without question.

If he shafts you in life, he'll double shaft you on his death. I'm just surprised he actually bothered to tell you what he'd done tbh.

He showed his true colours in going back on the house deal... please seek legal advice on your entitlement to any property purchased since you married him.

I still pay the rent on that house so it didn’t become any more complicated
Why are you paying the rent?
Those are adults living in that house and they should be paying the rent either via their wages or benefits.

It looks like everyone's taking the piss out of you and you passively take it.
Are you going to get legal advice about your situation and securing that rental property?
You can't trust him to sort it out for you.

"The house and rent/mortgage deal was supposed to revert to my being on the house deeds and him taking his off but he has changed his mind since I got married."

I'm amazed that a man would promise that to a new gf of just six months, but you are right to be annoyed that he has not stuck to his promise.

Certainly, I would stop paying the rent on that property now.

But I think you should also consider how you have actually done quite well here. You came into the marriage with no assets at all, and without even the means to adequately house your disabled dd.

After just six months, he bought a house for you to live in with your dd, to your specifications and to suit your requirements. He charged you rent to cover his mortgage and repairs/renovations, as all landlords do, and presumably this rent compared favourably with what you were previously paying on an unsuitable property?

Your adult dc now live in that house, and you live with your dp, being asked only to contribute towards bills and food.

On his death, you have a house for life.

To me, you are in a significantly better position than you were before.