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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not 'plan' anything for when DD has her friends round.

51 replies

BenWillbondsPants · 28/06/2019 19:29

They're all just turned 13. All three are great kids, get on well, no issues.

One of them is quite new to the school and has only been round a couple of times. They're here this evening for tea and will take them home about half 9 ish. I've just had a text from this girl's mum asking me what 'events' I have planned for this evening.

I haven't planned anything! They went to the park, had pizza for tea and are now upstairs messing up the spare room with some crisps and sweets. (No I know this is not healthy food but it's not every day). I can hear a lot of giggling and music and have just left them to it but now I feel a bit shit.

I used to plan stuff when they were tiny but they're 13! I wouldn't have wanted my mum arranging anything for me at that age when my friends were round. AIBU?

OP posts:
AlwaysDancing1234 · 28/06/2019 19:34

God no, they’re 13 not 3!
You’ve provided food and drink and the rest is up to them! I’d maybe tell them they can watch a movie on Amazon/Netflix/DVD whatever and leave them to it.

Wasywasydoodah · 28/06/2019 19:37

That’s v odd of the other mum. I’d just say they’ve been to the park, had tea (or dinner depending on where you live) and are now upstairs. Maybe she just wants to know if they’re going out or staying in.

Peitho · 28/06/2019 19:38

Events? events?

Grin Grin

What self-respecting 13 year old wants their mum drawing up a programme of entertaining events for when their friends visit! Totally el cringo (that's what we used to say!). Not when they could be sitting up in their room in hysterics and gushing about the object of their affections?

Celebelly · 28/06/2019 19:40

YANBU. Teenage me would have been mortified by 'events' unless it was for a birthday or something. Tell her you're doing pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs!

Yinyen · 28/06/2019 19:41

yanbu I've never organised anything even when they were little. the mum is either worried her DD is going to get up to something or v. controlling.

Original poster
BenWillbondsPants · 28/06/2019 19:44

Thank god for that, I was beginning to think that I should be writing a timetable of evening events. I told them they can watch a film if they want but they're not bothered.

There's a lot of talk of some chap called Dylan O'Brien and I'm apparently lame because I've never heard of him. Oh to be that age again. 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
BenWillbondsPants · 28/06/2019 19:46

Tell her you're doing pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs!

This would help me work out if the other mum has a sense of humour or not. 😂

OP posts:
Bigbopboo · 28/06/2019 20:00

Maybe she's worried they'll be heading off to the park for a free cans of strongbow

MysweetAudrina · 28/06/2019 20:00

My dd11 had 12 friends over today as they broke up from school. I made pizzas, hotdogs and set out lots of toppings for ice cream and left the rest up to them. Not sure dd would have been too impressed if I rocked up with a pass the parcel.

Original poster
BenWillbondsPants · 28/06/2019 20:04

They're now asking Alexa to make burping noises in the kitchen. I'm staying well out of the way.

OP posts:
BobTheFishermansWife · 28/06/2019 20:04

Tell her you're doing pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs!

Oh please please please tell her this op!!!

At 13 I would have been irritated if my mum tried to get involved in what I was doing with friends, especially if we were having a good laugh without her involvement!

SongforSal · 28/06/2019 20:06

If I were you, I would fire a rocket up her arse and reply 'Can't talk now. The girls are in the middle of their pole dancing class''.

I mean. Events? When my DD was that age, we did as you have OP.

Sparklesocks · 28/06/2019 20:16

Oh god no! When I was 13 and had mates round I just wanted to talk about boys and make silly jokes with my friends, I would’ve died of embarrassment if my mum tried to get us all involved in some sort of forced fun activity. Deffo leave them to do their own thing!

user1494055864 · 28/06/2019 20:17

Tell her they are out geocatching and getting you some beer and fags on the way back.

mokapot · 28/06/2019 20:18

Events? I’d be mortified if my mum had organized “ events” for me
Bloody hell

mokapot · 28/06/2019 20:18

Or alternatively tell her the strippers will be round in a bit

user1494055864 · 28/06/2019 20:18

**geocaching

ChesterDrawsDoesntExist · 28/06/2019 20:20

My 12 year old would die of embarrassment if I tried to plan events for her and her friends.

suitcaseofdreams · 28/06/2019 20:22

I don’t plan events for my 8yr old twins - each had a friend over this afternoon after school. I cooked pizza for them, they ran around the garden with water guns and played with the Lego and went home happy. I don’t think I’ve organised anything since they were in Reception! YANBU :-)

Sparklesocks · 28/06/2019 20:24

It’s a bit of a shame really as sort of suggests she doesn’t have much faith in her kid to make her own fun or have a laugh with her her mates without adult involvement.

Original poster
BenWillbondsPants · 28/06/2019 20:27

Tell her they are out geocatching and getting you some beer and fags on the way back.

😂😂

OP posts:
skybluee · 28/06/2019 20:29

Tell her you've set up the high jump in the lounge and after that they're on to the horse dancing event (equestrian).

Scoobydobbywho · 28/06/2019 20:34

Op did you know that you can also get Alexa to make farting noises. Grin

MamaWeasel · 28/06/2019 20:35

Does she mean Dara O'Briain the comedian......?

Oh and you are nbu

Whathappenedtooursummer · 28/06/2019 20:39

Ime we only have secondary school dc over. Self sufficient, self amusing dc.
Olympic games in the back garden? Her dd could be stuck mid fence!!

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