To not 'plan' anything for when DD has her friends round.

[BenWillbondsPants]

They're all just turned 13. All three are great kids, get on well, no issues.

One of them is quite new to the school and has only been round a couple of times. They're here this evening for tea and will take them home about half 9 ish. I've just had a text from this girl's mum asking me what 'events' I have planned for this evening.

I haven't planned anything! They went to the park, had pizza for tea and are now upstairs messing up the spare room with some crisps and sweets. (No I know this is not healthy food but it's not every day). I can hear a lot of giggling and music and have just left them to it but now I feel a bit shit.

I used to plan stuff when they were tiny but they're 13! I wouldn't have wanted my mum arranging anything for me at that age when my friends were round. AIBU?

currently asking our Alexa to burp and fart!!!

Hahahaha

No.

@MamaWeasel dylan o'Brien is the actor in maze runner..

I thought the same thing as you..
Showing our age 😂

@throughthenever...... I shall henceforth crawl back under my prehistoric rock!

Of course YANBU - leave them to it, unless you hear sounds of discourse/argument. Is she concerned they may be watching inappropriate content on internet or sneaking alcohol and wondering if you are checking up on them?

Haha no you don’t need to lay on activities.

Just one thought, maybe it’s the 9.30 finish time that makes her think you must be going somewhere as that seems quite late...?

God no, you’ve done exactly the right thing - fed them shit they will have loved and left them alone. The perfect evening for a 13yo!

Could it be a turn of phrase? Although odd in this context, if we make plans with my dad he'll ask 'What are the events on Saturday?' Even though he knows we're going to the park and for lunch with him- he means 'What time are we meeting/ where/ who's driving/ are we walking from park to restaurant' etc.
Or if he picks my kids up at 12 to take them out he asks what the events are and he means are they being fed, will the little one have napped, will he be giving them lunch etc.
Could she be asking about events in terms of is she picking up/ you dropping off/ are they eating a big dinner or just hanging out with junk food etc?

I took DD and two friends to a oil rig disaster movie because Dylan OBrien was in it - count yourself lucky you've not had to sit through that!

I'm the mother of a similar age child and all that's required from me is a steady stream of food and the WiFi password

I would guess she's possibly looking for reassurance that you know where they are and what they are up to and haven't just let them loose on the town on a Friday night? Maybe just a quick text to say all fed now in X's room, plenty giggling should set her mind at ease.

Do you think 9.30 is too late? It's just because it's a Friday night really. Maybe her mum thought that too, but she could have said I suppose.

Thank god they're gone, I love them to bits bit Christ almighty they talk shite and make more noise than I could even have imagined. 😂

DD gone to bed happy though. I used to love nights like that with my mates.

And yes, now I am aware that Alexa can make farting noises ... 🙄

My DD would say it was "cringe" if I tried to involve her and her friends in any activities. I'm actually not "allowed" to contact her friends parents about any arrangements. They make their own arrangements and ask us for lifts at the last minute

I have never arranged "events" when my dc have had friends round. Was that ever 'a thing' ? . Passed me by if it was.

Like everyone else, I'd have hated my mum to 'organise' and 'entertain' me and my friends. I certainly wouldn't have done it for mine at 13.

I wonder why the girls mother texted you, it seems an odd thing to.

It was probably just her clumsy way of making conversation. I’d probably do the same and cringe and backtrack etc.

but why would she need to "make conversation" ?

I remember my DD going to a new friend's house after school, aged perhaps 12 and the mother supervised the whole visit, including laying on an in house lesson in Norwegian folk dancing. My DD thought it bizarre and hilarious.

I might tell my 12 year old and mates to get off the x box after a long stint but other than that try to avoid

Events, I didn't "plan" things for play dates at 7 let alone teens!

Dear god no, I don't think I barely planned anything re friends coming over, certainly not since they left Juniors!

They could ask me what we could do / take them where they wanted to go, but I wasn't laying out an itinerary..

I did reply to her text last night, in case anything thinks I was rude and ignored it. I just said along the lines of 'they're all fine, lots of giggles and chatter!' and left it at that. She replied (I didn't look at my phone til this morning) with 'Oh. Thank you'. I don't know what the 'Oh' means and am now desperately trying not to overthink.

DH took the girls home last night and said that her big sister let her in and didn't see her parents.

If girl is new to the school and group then mum might just have been worrying about her fitting in. Probably just a way of checking all was okay and making sure daughter didn't need cash or particular clothing.

My daughter is 12 - when her friends come over they usually go to the park, back here for dinner then sit in her room watching YouTube / listening to music / sitting on their phones. I’ve tried suggesting things to do before but the only thing they are interested in doing (other than meeting up with other friends at the park) is being dropped off at the loc shopping centre for a couple of hours

Tell the Mum you’ve organised a pub crawl