AIBU to think school should have called me?

[tootiredtoadult]

So, I will take my error in all this but I feel school should have called me or kept DD age 8 inside or out at least shaded the kids.

To cut a long story short,y DD school have had. A sports week this week, but due to the rather British wet weather it has been cancelled, and all activities off, we received an email to say that they would be doing sports today.

In the usual morning rush and remembering pe kit at the last minute I packed her off to school.

She has come home sunburnt to hell. I asked "have you been outside ALL day" she confirmed they had, I asked "did they ask if you had sun cream on"? She confirmed "they asked and I said No, they offered me some but I told them I'm allergic to that one"
(well done for realising that DD)

The school clearly knew the kids needed sun screen as they were offering it out, I feel at this point they should have called me for my views on what they should do (I would have taken some into school for her) I wouldn't want her to miss out but I feel they should have kept her inside or at very least, put the kids in the shade where possible.

I appreciate I should have put cream on her this morning but I wasn't aware they were going to be out in baking sun all day doing sports.

Should I approach the school about this? WWYD?

Lizzie Yes in that set up a friend of your Dd agreed to stay in with her. That is unlikely to be the case with sports day. That is how they got round the advice that a teacher should avoid being alone with a child. And the teacher had to give up her break for 2 weeks.

In terms of a teacher finding a coat for a child, you make it sound as if that is a 2 second job. In reality it is walking to lost property, rummaging around and trying to find a coat in the child's size, walking back with the coat. In reality it will take all or most of a break time. A parent does not forget to send a child with a coat as it would be obvious as soon as they step out of the house. So this is likely either to be a child who refuses a coat, or a very neglected child where there needs to be a report to SS.

I am sure teachers do empathise with kids. But they can not replace parents.

I can't believe some of the responses here. Yes, the OP should've remembered sun cream and no, the teacher probably isn't in the position to both look after 30 kids and go off to phone OP.

But once it was realised the DD had no sun cream and was allergic to the sun cream the school had, that doesn't just mean the teacher throws up their hands and says "Oh well! Nothing more I can do! Not the school’s fault you’re allergic to this cream! You'll just have to go and run around unprotected in the sun all day, there’s nothing else for it!"

You put her under a sun umbrella, or send her to do lessons with another class, or anything, you don’t just abandon her because the few solutions you’d thought of have failed.

As the OP says this is like a parachute jump:
“Have you got your own parachute?”
“Nope.”
“Do you want to take this spare one?”
“That one’s got a hole in it.”
“Well, that’s me out of ideas. Hurry up now and jump out of the plane.”

OP, you are perfectly right to go and discuss it with the school.

Comparing this to a parachute is hyperbole.
Also I suspect OP exaggerated as her DD went in to school fine. Severe sunburn would not make that possible.

Both the school and you have made a mistake, learn and move on from it and not let it happen again.

I would mention to the school about your DC coming home with bad sunburn and that she didn't have any on, they knew she didn't and was allergic to one given her so she should of been kept in the shade or covered up. If your daughter has additional needs then surely they could of checked with her before the activity they were doing to see if she remembered suncream or if you had already put it on.

My son had his sports day yesterday and we were text and emailed countless times during the week about it being sports day and as with any weather a certain temperature they expect children to come with hats suncream on or suncream in their bag and a bottle of water.
At both my dc schools their teachers are not allowed to put sun cream on the children at all. So it's the parents responsibility to make sure they have sun cream with them or put it on before hand. My dc one has additional needs so I make sure I put it on him my other DC is capable of taking some to school with her and putting it on herself but she would make a right mess of it.
In summer it's part of our morning routine to but suncream on no matter what the sky looks like. In UK the weather can change by the hour. Plus everyone knows we were getting hot weather this week. Even if it's cloudy you can still burn.
Yesterday they were made to sit in the shade whilst waiting for the turn in the events they were also all given hats to wear.
Some schools are different so some might not bother.

I'd let the school know about her sun burn and leave a sun lotion with the school that she isn't allergic too, and maybe ask the teacher to check with your DC on hot days if she has applied some or needs to apply some, as if your DC has additional needs I don't see why this would be a problem to just check.

@jennymanara not really clear on your stance here as your spouting multiple opinions seemingly to aggravate the thread.

You are being completely ignorant to the duty of care a teacher has for the children in their care. Fact.

They didn't communicate it was an all day outside event, and didn't take appropriate action when identifying their pupil didn't have adequate sun coverage to partake.

That is the failure on their part.

@yukka Yes I am being clear. I think the school should have made sure OPs DD did not get sunburned, but I can also see the practical difficulties in enacting this. As I have said multiple times, plans tend to get enacted when they are realistic. As soon as they become more difficult, you increase the chances of it not happening.

My dd is allergic to a lot of sun cream too. I didn't apply any today and now I'm panicking as one in bag. But...I would not expect kids to be out all day in the sun anyway. I even asked her this morning just in case something special is on.

Jenny I'm not making it sound like a two second job, or suggesting that a teacher has to do it. I'm saying that I can see why a teacher might actively choose to do it, like that poster you were responding to. Especially if it was a child who they were aware was being neglected.

And no, I agree that on sports day that might not easily happen. My DD2 used to be a 'cheer leader' during PE, so she was outdoors.

I would have thought what could be done was tell the DD to go indoors and sit with another class. Unless we're talking about a small village school, I very much doubt the whole School was outdoors. At my DDs' school, they have 2 sports days, one for KS1 and one for KS2.

But then, I don't think it would have been all that hard to call the OP. I get called by the school very occasionally, and I know that for some parents of disruptive children calls from the school are a common occurrence. You'll probably tell me how unreasonable I'm being to suggest this, but they would call home if a child was ill. And I was called in to administer Calpol on several occasions while DD2 had her broken wrist.

It doesn't sound as though the OP was all that badly burnt, though, so I think it's the case that she did overreact.

@jennymanara

"I think the school should have made sure OPs DD did not get sunburned,"

Ah good, we got there.

lizzie No not unreasonable for school to call the OP. I just understand on a sports day outside why teachers may have been so busy that it did not happen.
It may even have been the teacher decided to call OP and forgot. Who knows?
Looking after 30 8 year olds is not easy. Imagine if you had to? A lot of classes no longer have a TA unless a child needs a 1-1. So the teacher has to look after usually 28-30 kids. Which is why a teacher can not look after individual kids to the same standard as a parent with 2 children, however we might want them to.

@yukka Don't play gotcha with me, I have already said that before.

And actually, at 8, OP's DD could have asked again, rather than resigning herself to getting burned? A child in Reception or year 1 wouldn't have felt able to do that but I think an 8 year old should have the capacity to speak up for herself. (There's no suggestion from the OP that she has SEN or is shy, and she spoke up about her allergy.)

I suspect the teacher concerned had planned to do something, like call the OP, but got waylaid by another child/parent and then forgot afterwards. I doubt she planned to just allow the OP's DD to burn. So the OP's DD needs to learn that adults sometimes forget when they have a lot to do and that she herself can ask again.

yes it is my responsibility to send her protected, but upon realising she wasn't the person who has her in their care Becomes responsible IMO.

I just cannot understand this attitude so many British parents on MN have, to see teachers and schools as back-up parents.

Schools are there to educate: academic subjects, social responsibility, and in some better ones, character formation too. All of these things started off as parental duties, but it was considered better for the child for these things to be taught collectively, by professional teachers, in the company of other children.

So many parents have it backwards, as though school should do everything except.... well, after this post, I don’t even know what! Schools need to keep your child safe, sure, but from things like bombs, fire, road accidents. Progressive thinking has finally cottoned on that as children spend so many of their waking hours at school, often (but not always) one single adult at school may have better insight into things such as child abuse (especially if it’s happening at home), and so teachers have taken on responsibility for that.

But that’s it. School isn’t there to feed your child, provide uniform, provide counseling, ensure equal rounds at playing Mary in the nativity play, cater to dietary preferences, it’s not childcare. And it’s certainly not there to provide suncream that your specific child isn’t allergic to! If an 8yo is to spend an entire day indoors, away from the class, that requires adult supervision. If she’s to be outdoors but in the shade all day, that requires an adult to keep an eye on her specifically all day.

It’s the world gone mad, seeking always to blame, disproportionately anxious about every single thing that might not be in the child’s perfectly best interest at all times. So much drama. The real shame is all these children growing up around all this anxiety and trauma and hand-wringing and blame-seeking. How will they learn to take responsibility when they become adults?

They reminded kids about suncream and had extra for kids who had forgotten. That sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

I think if your kid is allergic to some suncream you need to be more diligent about them carrying it - it's late June. I think you need to take more responsibility

If an 8yo is to spend an entire day indoors, away from the class, that requires adult supervision. If she’s to be outdoors but in the shade all day, that requires an adult to keep an eye on her specifically all day

So the common sense approach would be to contact the parent, rather than just apply a “sod it, we know they need sun-cream but tough shit, the kid can burn” approach.

It’s hardly “the kid can burn” as in hellfire! As far as I’m aware, a teacher would need to go into the school office, find the appropriate contact details (waterfall style, emergency contact 1, 2, 3 etc), get hold of someone or leave a message, having told the receptionist (or whoever) that when xyz’s guardian arrives with sunblock they’re to come to the playing field and find them, so the child can apply it. Until then, because who knows how long that might take (perhaps all day), they have to arrange for someone to see the child stays in the shade/indoors. That’s one child. It’s just not reasonable.

The child probably came home with burned/pink/red arms and legs, maybe parts of her face. Calamine or aloe gel overnight, perhaps some peeling skin over the next few days. Lesson taught to parents to ensure she has suncream she can use with her at all times, and instructions on where to apply it. This isn’t perfect parenting, it’s basic parenting. One episode of sunburn at 8yo is not going to lead to skin cancer or premature ageing.

U2, you are missing my point. No child should be excluded. Yes they shouldn't be allowed to burn but the answer is not to sit them under a tree. What 6 year old will happily sit under a tree all afternoon while the other children are doing sports?

I am not missing your point at all. The child is 8 by the way.

I don't think putting a child in the shade or getting them to sit inside really fits 'exclusion', when their health is at risk. It is unfair exclusion if a child can't take part in sports because they aren't very good, but I do not believe there is one teacher that would worry more about 'exclusion' than they would worry about a child getting sunburnt in their care.

I agree that sitting them under the tree isn't the best way to deal with it, but if they didn't have the time to call her mum then that would have been a better option than the one they picked.

Teachers try their best. They are stretched hugely with very little time or staff. They will try to contact parents and try to ensure all children are covered in suncream and a sunhat but at some point they need to teach... and eat

What part of your posts do you think I don't understand exactly? This teacher didn't try their best. That's the whole point. They knew she had no suncream on and did nothing. If that is trying their best then god knows what not trying looks like.

Another one surprised that a school is offering sun cream to children. We never would, because of the danger that a child might have a reaction to one of the ingredients.

OP, is the allergy to an specific active ingredient and is the school aware of this? Just thinking it might also be an ingredient of other toiletries such as hand wash or soap.

Suncream is on the everyday items in summer list along with a raincoat, can you get a refillable bottle so she has a small amount just in case? .

The school were unreasonable in not letting you know today though. Ours has one of those secretaries who will make you feel the worst parent but will seemingly call for every consult possible.

@

It doesn't change the fact that the school knowingly sent a child out to spend a long time in the sun without sun protection. Was that a responsible thing to do

Or the OP, she too did this. Knew the child was outside, without providing sun protection for her allergies. Was this responsible of her? It’s the same

That’s one child. It’s just not reasonable

Funny DD’s secondary managed it when they needed clarification on something.

In reality it’s ask the school secretary to make contact isn’t it? Rather than the teacher frantically bashing numbers on the phone.

What really bugs me is that whoever was responsible - and I agree OP dropped the ball somewhat - is that the end result is harm to the child.

That isn’t a reasonable course of action.

Totally depends on the school and what else the school admin has to do.

OP dropped the ball. Lesson learnt perhaps.
Get some after sun for the child.

Threads about schooling on MN are useful.

The more I read, the more and more I become grateful for the ethos at the schools DD has been at and is currently at!