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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think school should have called me?

260 replies

tootiredtoadult · 27/06/2019 23:52

So, I will take my error in all this but I feel school should have called me or kept DD age 8 inside or out at least shaded the kids.

To cut a long story short,y DD school have had. A sports week this week, but due to the rather British wet weather it has been cancelled, and all activities off, we received an email to say that they would be doing sports today.

In the usual morning rush and remembering pe kit at the last minute I packed her off to school.

She has come home sunburnt to hell. I asked "have you been outside ALL day" she confirmed they had, I asked "did they ask if you had sun cream on"? She confirmed "they asked and I said No, they offered me some but I told them I'm allergic to that one"
(well done for realising that DD)

The school clearly knew the kids needed sun screen as they were offering it out, I feel at this point they should have called me for my views on what they should do (I would have taken some into school for her) I wouldn't want her to miss out but I feel they should have kept her inside or at very least, put the kids in the shade where possible.

I appreciate I should have put cream on her this morning but I wasn't aware they were going to be out in baking sun all day doing sports.

Should I approach the school about this? WWYD?

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 28/06/2019 09:14

And what about the teacher's responsibility to keep children safe when they are in their care? Ahh well, the parents forgot the suncream, their fault, so the child can just burn. That will teach them.

That responsibility exists, but it only goes so far. Sun cream isn’t a legal requirement. The teacher offered it anyway to the child - who is 8, not 4 - and the child answered that she is allergic. The teacher looked at the weather, presumably, and didn’t think it was that hot (it hasn’t been where we are). She made a mistake.

Yabbers · 28/06/2019 09:15

The difference is I don’t blame everyone else for my mistakes.

So, you forget to pack a water bottle and it’s 30 degrees out. The school had kids outside all day and at no point do they make sure the children are drinking plenty. You blame yourself? No blame on the school at all?

Your child is on a regular medication and it runs out. They haven’t mentioned it to you, but you should be aware as you know how much was put in at the beginning of the term. They skip that medication and your child ends up sick. You blame yourself? Not the school’s responsibility?

You forget to pack a lunch for your child. They don’t make sure there is something for them to eat or call you to let them know. You blame yourself? No part of you says that the school maybe should have made sure your child has something to eat?

Each of these things are as damaging to a child’s health as spending the entire day outside without sunscreen.

It is possible to recognise your mistakes but think someone might have stepped in to mitigate any effect of that.

schools are there to educate

Bollocks. If this was the case, there would be no safeguarding of children at all. They have a duty of care to children and knowingly allowing a child with no protection to be outside all day is failing in that duty.

notacooldad · 28/06/2019 09:16

Yes, the op should have sent sun cream, but she forgot! Hands up anyone who hasn’t ever. forgotten something?
But it's not a one off forget though. Her Dd needs a different cream to everyone else so cream should have been at hand weeks ago for any playtime or outdoor activity.

shellysheridan · 28/06/2019 09:23

Class of 30.

Scenario 1- 9.00 - teacher reminds children that it's sports week. Has everyone put sun cream on? Yes? Great! Let's do English

Scenario 2- 9.00 -teacher reminds children that it's sports week. Has everyone put sun cream on? No? Ok.
Who hasn't? Makes a list of 12 children who haven't, 6 who might have but can't remember and 2 who think so but it might only be good for 3 hours. Borrows TA from next year group as class don't have one. TA then spends an hour trying to contact parents, asking if suncream is on, getting them out of meetings to drop sun cream off, reading ingredients down the phone, taking children to the office to get suncream on, supervising application.
Teacher tries to carry on with English, it's impossible with various children popping in and out. Next year group can't do what they planned without a TA. English ends and still there are 3 children who's parents can't be contacted and another 10 who don't have sun hats. Teacher has a small collection of sun hats collected from her own children or purchased out of own money but not enough to go around. Teacher spends lunchtime setting up for sports day, borrowing sun hats from other classes not outside and trying to get hold of parents that they haven't been able to reach.

Teachers try their best. They are stretched hugely with very little time or staff. They will try to contact parents and try to ensure all children are covered in suncream and a sunhat but at some point they need to teach... and eat.

Yabbers · 28/06/2019 09:27

Teacher tries to carry on with English

Near the last week of term, when they are happy to have the whole school outside for sports all day?

MrsMiggins37 · 28/06/2019 09:28

I think we can spot all the slack parents here who are happy for others to shoulder the responsibility of their sloppiness

U2HasTheEdge · 28/06/2019 09:31

The teacher looked at the weather, presumably, and didn’t think it was that hot

I would hope a teacher would be aware that you can get sunburn when it isn't 'that hot'.

Waveysnail · 28/06/2019 09:34

This is a no win for the school. If they put suncream on her and she had a reaction you would be cross. If they made her stay inside all.day and.not take part - you would be cross.

PlugUgly1980 · 28/06/2019 09:34

This time of year its a long lasting sun cream on every morning (except when forecast is rain all day). Even grey cloudy starts can turn into beautiful sunny days by lunchtime, and that's regardless of whether it's sports day/week or just a normal school day. Kids play out after lunch in the hottest part of the day. All the letters we've had from school remind us it's our responsibility as parents to make sure they have sun cream and a hat. It just needs to be part of the daily morning routine (and yes it's an absolute pain with little ones, but we do it).

That said when an activity is planned outside all day I would expect some degree of shade to be made available during the hottest part of the day.

shellysheridan · 28/06/2019 09:35

Yabbers,
'Sports day' is usually an afternoon or sessions during the week, not the whole day. English and Maths still have to be done at other times of the day to ensure coverage of the curriculum.

herculepoirot2 · 28/06/2019 09:35

I would hope a teacher would be aware that you can get sunburn when it isn't 'that hot'.

I’m sure, but I think a teacher can also be aware that the parent has the final say unless she as the teacher is personally worried, in which case yes, she should intervene. Obviously she didn’t think it was hot enough for burning. Like I said, she made a mistake, but so did the OP, and the bigger one.

U2HasTheEdge · 28/06/2019 09:45

I think we can spot all the slack parents here who are happy for others to shoulder the responsibility of their sloppiness

Can you? Or perhaps you can just spot the people who do not think it is OK to let a child burn because mum forgot to pack suncream, when the teacher is aware of it. Children of 'slack parents' should just be left to burn because it's not the teacher's responsibility? Funny that, I thought teachers were all over protecting children.

Teachers try their best

Asking a child if they have suncream on, finding out they haven't then proceed to let the child sit in the sun all day is not trying their best.

Borrows TA from next year group as class don't have one. TA then spends an hour trying to contact parents, asking if suncream is on, getting them out of meetings to drop sun cream off, reading ingredients down the phone, taking children to the office to get suncream on, supervising application.

Bloody hell, why would they do all that when they could just have put OP's daughter in the shade, or inside? I doubt many of the children were allergic to the suncream the school were providing.

U2HasTheEdge · 28/06/2019 09:46

If they made her stay inside all.day and.not take part - you would be cross.

Really? I think most parents would prefer their children to be inside then come home with bad sunburn.

JacquesHammer · 28/06/2019 09:46

I think we can spot all the slack parents here who are happy for others to shoulder the responsibility of their sloppiness

Or you know those who think it shouldn’t be beyond the realms of fantasy to expect a quick call from the school.

MrsJoyless · 28/06/2019 09:47

There are three questions here:

  1. Was the OP wrong not to ensure her DD had the correct sunscreen applied. OP's answer is YES.
  2. Knowing that the child did not have sunscreen, was the school wrong to allow her to burn outside all day? OP thinks YES, as she is upset that her DD is now burnt.
  3. If your answer to the previous questions is YES and YES, would you bring the matter up with the school? Please answer question 3 only.
IncrediblySadToo · 28/06/2019 09:47

I think it’s exactly like the parachute example. What’s the point in asking if the reply is just going to be ‘oh your parents ducked up, you’ll just have to fry!’

They are ADULTS, responsible at that point and time for the children - you DEAL with it, you don’t just let them suffer

I’m not a teacher, but I have looked after large groups of children (away from home on adventure trips) yes it’s annoying, yes it’s incinvenuent, but you have to deal with the situation not just shrug your shoulders ND ket the kid suffer. Especially one with SN who might be less able to look after their own needs

Definitely talk to the school. Was DD EVEN ASKED if she had hers in her bag? ( I know she didn’t, but did they?)

I hope DD isn’t too sore today x

shellysheridan · 28/06/2019 09:48

U2- schools have to support inclusion. Why should a child spend all sports day sat under a tree?

shellysheridan · 28/06/2019 09:49

And I don't think you've understood my post. I gave examples of teachers trying their best to support all children in their care. At no point should a child be in the sun all day, sun cream or not.

HereForAdvice2019 · 28/06/2019 09:50

When my child was 8 they had to carry suncream in their bags and put on as necessary. Same when he did cubs etc. Parents responsibility imo

shellysheridan · 28/06/2019 09:51

The op should clarify if the child was out all day in the sun or just for part of the day

ChippingInLowCarbing · 28/06/2019 09:53

I think we can spot all the slack parents here who are happy for others to shoulder the responsibility of their sloppines

What a load of crap

You sound like an incompetent defensive teacher

An adult KNEW a child had no sun protection but failed to do anything about it. That ADULT is irresponsible I don’t care if they’re a teacher, another parent, or the fucking Pope.

And what U2 said...

Can you? Or perhaps you can just spot the people who do not think it is OK to let a child burn because mum forgot to pack suncream, when the teacher is aware of it. Children of 'slack parents' should just be left to burn because it's not the teacher's responsibility? Funny that, I thought teachers were all over protecting children.

Jesus wept

derxa · 28/06/2019 09:54

So they suddenly decided to carry on with 'sports week' at the drop of a hat. That's not how schools work

yeahokright · 28/06/2019 09:54

I agree OP I think it's shocking that they would let your poor DD get burnt. They asked her if she had it on and she said no. They knew. Yes you made a mistake. Don't beat yourself up. And DICK is a swear word.

IncrediblySadToo · 28/06/2019 09:56

When my child was 8 they had to carry suncream in their bags and put on as necessary. Same when he did cubs etc. Parents responsibility imo

No one (includingbthe OP) is arguing with the fact that it’s the parents responsibility HIWEVER when another ADUKT Knows the parent has fucked op and the child has no protection then it become THAT ADULTS responsibility to sort the child out. Not just shrug and let them burn FFS. ITS NOT complicated.

ChippingInLowCarbing · 28/06/2019 09:57

The op should clarify if the child was out all day in the sun or just for part of the day

Why? It makes NO difference at all. She was in the sun long enough to burn the teachers knew she hadn’t any sun protection on

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