AIBU to think school should have called me?

[tootiredtoadult]

So, I will take my error in all this but I feel school should have called me or kept DD age 8 inside or out at least shaded the kids.

To cut a long story short,y DD school have had. A sports week this week, but due to the rather British wet weather it has been cancelled, and all activities off, we received an email to say that they would be doing sports today.

In the usual morning rush and remembering pe kit at the last minute I packed her off to school.

She has come home sunburnt to hell. I asked "have you been outside ALL day" she confirmed they had, I asked "did they ask if you had sun cream on"? She confirmed "they asked and I said No, they offered me some but I told them I'm allergic to that one"
(well done for realising that DD)

The school clearly knew the kids needed sun screen as they were offering it out, I feel at this point they should have called me for my views on what they should do (I would have taken some into school for her) I wouldn't want her to miss out but I feel they should have kept her inside or at very least, put the kids in the shade where possible.

I appreciate I should have put cream on her this morning but I wasn't aware they were going to be out in baking sun all day doing sports.

Should I approach the school about this? WWYD?

(maybe you are a teacher defending your industry)

Bold fail

You cocked up not putting sun cream on for sure but we all forget things sometimes. The school were wrong leaving her outside all day knowing she had none on.

Teachers teach.
Parents parent.
Yabu

It's your fault, OP. There have been weather warnings galore about heat/sun/UV rays and so on. You got the email saying they had rescheduled the sports day for today but you neglected to pack sunscreen. It's on you.

On a different rather pedantic note, the verb you want is 'slather' - not 'lather'. They mean entirely different things. .

At what point in the day when the temperature got hot did you realise she had no sun cream on?

When did you think about her being out at breaks or lunch?

but thank you also to all those perfect parents out there that have never forgotten a single thing where your children are concerned for taking the time to make us mere mortals feel like crap 👍🏻👏🏻*

It's not about forgetting a single thing though.
Blimey over the years theres tons if stuff I've forgotten. However in this incidence it's not a case if ' blood hell !! I forgot the sun cream this morning!
You know your dd is allergic and needs a certain one, you know it is summer, you know kids play out regardless of the email telling you it is sports day.
The sun cream should have been in the bag many weeks ago, ' just in case'. If you forgot to put it one day , that's normal but to go weeks ( or dare I say a couole of months now) without it is your issue.

"I didn't know it was going to be hot".
.

This is on you.

So if she had forgotten to put in regular medication her daughter needed, the school have no responsibility for that?

Why is it people must always insist schools are just too busy to take care of children?

We are experiencing a heatwave and i is unacceptable that schools are playing fast and loose with children’s well-being.

The school could have done one of two things. A)called the OP to discuss or B) said to the girl, sorry no sunscreen you can’t go out. Which is absolutely what they should be saying to any child in this weather.

What kind of adult watches a child burn but does nothing to prevent it.

Parents forget stuff, we aren’t perfect. Thankfully DDs school doesn’t sit back and blame me on the rare occasions I forget things. “We”re just too busy” doesn’t cut it.

I don’t feel all the wailing and gnashing of teeth and endless explanations and excuses are particularly needed. I don’t think school should send a kid with no suncream outside for a whole day, regardless of whose fault it was she had no suncream. I don’t think they should have to faff about making phone calls, just keep the un-creamed kids in. I also think that it’s the parents responsibility to ensure kids have suncream in their bag. It’s not a complicated concept.

Why is it people must always insist schools are just too busy to take care of children?

Schools are there to educate children. Not to do things that the parents can’t be arsed to.

I wouldn't have expected school to be asking about suncream with 8 year olds but seeing as they did ask and knew she wasn't protected then they shouldn't have let her stay outside to burn. As pps have said, surely there was some supervised place for her to read quietly indoors? If not; a phone call to you to say she wasn't appropriately prepared for the day's planned activities.

Schools are there to educate children. Not to do things that the parents can’t be arsed to.

No, they are also there to safeguard children whilst in their care.

Suppose a parent regularly sends a child in having had nothing to eat or drink. Should schools say "Not our problem, we're only here to educate her, it's the parent's fault. We shouldn't have to faff around giving her food and drink, and we certainly shouldn't have all the bother of calling social services"?

I am not a perfect parent and have forgotten suncream before or missed a bit or not re-applied it enough, but I did recognise that it was my responsibility.

Yes they are there to look after children in their care. Which is why they applied sunscreen onto the children.

I agree. They obsolutely should have kept her out of the sun and in the shade. It sounds as though that they were distracted. Just like you were. Next time I would teach your daughter to make sure that if she's ever without suncream, she should sit in the shade or keep telling a teacher. It's easily done though. Esp in this ever changing weather.

I think you and the school are equally culpable here but snowy81 upthread has made a very good suggestion. Stick a bottle of a sunscreen she isn’t allergic to in her PE bag.

And why is crap an acceptable word to use but dick isn’t? Both seem very mild for the swear fest that is MN generally and AIBU in particular.

This is totally your fault OP and frankly, if you think being told you’re being a dick is appalling, perhaps AIBU isn’t the place for you

Also, you seem determined to present yourself as the poor victim here, being bullied by posters disagreeing that the school recklessly failed your child.

You cocked up, we all do it, but most of us then accept our very human error and learn from it without needing to shift all blame and responsibility onto someone else.

Suppose a parent regularly sends a child in having had nothing to eat or drink. Should schools say "Not our problem, we're only here to educate her, it's the parent's fault. We shouldn't have to faff around giving her food and drink, and we certainly shouldn't have all the bother of calling social services"?

Yes, of course they need to do that. That is very different from expecting them to pick up the baton for lower level slack parenting. A one off incident of forgetting to put sun cream on a child with no other red flags is not a safeguarding issue fgs

OP had no reason to know that her daughter would be outside all day.

That aside they would be out for breaks and lunch. My son’s class did gardening yesterday and we didn’t know in advance. But because it was sunny we put cream on him to ensure he was covered for breaks

thank you also to all those perfect parents out there that have never forgotten a single thing where your children are concerned for taking the time to make us mere mortals feel like crap

Oh god, I am so far from a perfect parent it’s untrue. I’ve forgotten loads. The difference is I don’t blame everyone else for my mistakes.

The way I see it is that whilst my children are at school, the school is responsible for for their safety, in loco parentis.
Yes, the op should have sent sun cream, but she forgot! Hands up anyone who hasn’t ever. forgotten something? The teacher asked and offered sun cream, therefore knew the child was at risk. It was irresponsible to ignore this! You don’t shove a child in the deep end at the swimming pool and let them drown just because their parent forgot their swimming aid!!

More than just op’s child was left to burn. Someone, possibly a TA, should have been left to supervise the children who hadn’t sun cream, and they should have been either kept inside or in the shade.

Op admits she should have ensured her child had sun cream, but her child could have ended up in hospital! I don’t think she’s is being unreasonable in thinking the school has some responsibility in keeping her child safe and well in this situation.

Im not saying there isn’t a need for suncream etc - clearly there is - I just don’t remember people being so worried about this in the UK when I was young and I don’t remember ever getting burned etc.

I remember getting sunburn on many occasions as a child. OP's daughter has sun burn.

Errr... she did. It’s was Sports Day. That’s what happens on that day!

Read OP's posts. Sports week, so they don't spend all day outside usually.

OP used to be a teacher herself, so I don't think she has anything against teachers.

Your fault entirely and a massive overreaction to one touch of sunburn. If you’re really good about protecting usually one tinge of redness isn’t going to do much harm.

I love how you have decided it was a tinge of redness and a touch of sunburn, without even seeing the child. OP says she was badly burnt. Is there a reason not to believe her?

The school should have informed you and put your daughter in the shade or inside. It's simple and I do not believe for once second that there was no one to keep an eye on her inside. You forgot the suncream, but once your daughter told them she didn't have any on and was allergic to their suncream, they then have the responsibility to keep her safe, not just shrug their shoulders and let her burn.

When they are at school it is a teacher's job to keep them safe and they didn't, despite knowing full well she had no suncream on. It isn't acceptable and teachers being busy etc is not a good enough excuse for not keeping children safe.

OP made a mistake, yes. That doesn't mean teachers can shrug it off and let a child burn.

Parents, take responsibility for your actions. YOU didn't put suncream on YOUR child, YOU didn't provide a hat, YOU didn't send the appropriate suncream into school, YOU didn't instil your child with the common sense to find some shade. This is YOUR responsibility and YOUR fault.

Oh god, I am so far from a perfect parent it’s untrue. I’ve forgotten loads. The difference is I don’t blame everyone else for my mistakes.

The OP isn't blaming the school for her forgetting the suncream. She is blaming the school for being aware of the situation and then failing to keep her child safe. It is a part of their job.

This isn't about OP, this is about a little girl who was left to burn. It wasn't her fault her mum forgot the suncream, and she shouldn't have had to pay for the consequences of that.

Parents, take responsibility for your actions. YOU didn't put suncream on YOUR child, YOU didn't provide a hat, YOU didn't send the appropriate suncream into school, YOU didn't instil your child with the common sense to find some shade. This is YOUR responsibility and YOUR fault

And what about the teacher's responsibility to keep children safe when they are in their care? Ahh well, the parents forgot the suncream, their fault, so the child can just burn. That will teach them.