AIBU to think school should have called me?

[tootiredtoadult]

So, I will take my error in all this but I feel school should have called me or kept DD age 8 inside or out at least shaded the kids.

To cut a long story short,y DD school have had. A sports week this week, but due to the rather British wet weather it has been cancelled, and all activities off, we received an email to say that they would be doing sports today.

In the usual morning rush and remembering pe kit at the last minute I packed her off to school.

She has come home sunburnt to hell. I asked "have you been outside ALL day" she confirmed they had, I asked "did they ask if you had sun cream on"? She confirmed "they asked and I said No, they offered me some but I told them I'm allergic to that one"
(well done for realising that DD)

The school clearly knew the kids needed sun screen as they were offering it out, I feel at this point they should have called me for my views on what they should do (I would have taken some into school for her) I wouldn't want her to miss out but I feel they should have kept her inside or at very least, put the kids in the shade where possible.

I appreciate I should have put cream on her this morning but I wasn't aware they were going to be out in baking sun all day doing sports.

Should I approach the school about this? WWYD?

You also went on to day this

In the usual morning rush and remembering pe kit at the last minute I packed her off to school

Which backs up you saying you knew sports was today.

@Butterymuffin you are right, that probably should have been mentioned but, I was more concerned about how the school dealt with it, regardless of who was at fault if you know a child in your care is at risk, you should make a risk Assesment. Regardless of who has made the initial error x

I think as parent you are the responsible adult here. It doesn't matter if it was sports day or not - you knew it was going to be hot today and sunscreen should have been applied before your DC left the house this morning. So you think a teacher has time every day to be ringing every parent of every child in their class to check if they applied sunscreen or not. Seriously?

@tootiredtoadult Okay you think the teacher should have rung you. You can ask the teacher to do that if it happens again. But as a teacher yourself surely you know that it is not always that easy to get contacts phone numbers and ring them while you are actually supervising a class?

And contrary to your accusations OP I am not trying to be unconstructive. But I find plans are far more likely to happen if they are realistic.

...if we had the slightest inclination a child wasn't wearing sunscreen we either called the parents or kept them inside.

But how could they have done that? Who would have looked after her? Not only that, but she would have felt excluded and you would probably be on here moaning about how she missed out.

They offered her sunscreen, she refused it, I really don't see what else they could have done. Ultimately it's your responsibility to put sunscreen on your child before sending her to school.

Thank you again to the supportive Mumsnetters and the ones offering diplomatic advice knowing I messed up this morning (like I said) I will say one last time it wasn't sports day it was sports week, where they usually only do one lesson of sports, so wear their pe kit all week. Just like they wear fancy dress for book day but dont spend the whole day reading.
I didn't know it was going to be hot! The weather was god awful this morning and she actually went in her winter pe kit, with her shorts underneath (just incase)

I feel I have received what I needed from this post, from the people that bothered to read the post and ALL the comments, before judging, and the ones that appreciated I mucked up, you are true women's, women, Thank you 😊 I

but thank you also to all those perfect parents out there that have never forgotten a single thing where your children are concerned for taking the time to make us mere mortals feel like crap 👍🏻👏🏻

...if we had the slightest inclination a child wasn't wearing sunscreen we either called the parents or kept them inside.

This surprises me because it takes more staffing realistically than a state school usually has. In nursery settings yes, but staff to kid ratios are much higher.

It's warming up in the UK. Grab a sealable sandwich bag and put a tube of the appropriate sunscreen in it for it to permanently stay in her bag regardless of what she may or may not be doing along with her hat and teach her to use both.

Takes the pressure off you in the morning and off the teacher during an intense time (dealing with lots of wriggling children).

When you say allergic to sunscreen. What’s the reaction? Is it actually worse than sunburn? Are we talking a skin rash reaction or something more serious?

I will say one last time it wasn't sports day it was sports week,

It doesn't matter how many times you say it.

In the OP you said that you were emailed and told it they would be doing sports today.

I'm sorry you forgot your kids suncream and I'm sorry we don't all blame the teacher, but nobody was having a go at you for forgetting something.

I, and others, didn't agree with you that it was schools fault, that's all.

but thank you also to all those perfect parents out there that have never forgotten a single thing where your children are concerned for taking the time to make us mere mortals feel like crap

This ^ never happened.

And I do sympathise re the unpredictability of the weather. I’m in Scotland. I have no fucking idea how I’m supposed to be dressing my children just now. We are getting four seasons in one day.

@tootiredtoadult I think you are upset at this is clouding how you are reading this thread and responding. Nobody here is saying they are a perfect parent and never forget anything.
I think you are really upset at your DDs sunburn, feel guilty, although you shouldn't, and as part of this guilt are looking to transfer the guilt you feel onto the school.
Go to bed now, you will feel better about this tomorrow. In the grand scheme of things it really is not a big deal.

I think there is a lot of hysteria about sun safety these days. Im not saying there isn’t a need for suncream etc - clearly there is - I just don’t remember people being so worried about this in the UK when I was young and I don’t remember ever getting burned etc.

I agree. The school should have either called you or just kept her inside. No child should be kept out on hot sun all day with no sunscreen. I would have ended up in hospital if this had happened to me as I have very fair skin. Sunburn can be very dangerous. You should definitely complain to the school. The next child they allow this to happen to could be severely hurt.

I would be quite mad, but at the same time I don't see why if your daughter is allergic to some suncream, why you haven't taken a bottle of the sun cream your daughter can use to be kept in the classroom, I know our summers are unpredictable, but its better to have it there ready
If your child had asthma you wouldn't not send their atshma pumps in?

“I didn’t know it was going to be hot!”. Check the weather forcast, don’t just look at the sky 😂. It can be 4 seasons in a day in the UK, less so in Australia, but I still check the forcast each day as cloudy morning doesn’t necessarily mean cloudy and cold all day.

You said your child normally has their own suncream in their bag - likely the teacher assumed they put that on and didn’t check further (which I think they should have). It’s a shame your child got burnt (and I hooe she feels better soon), but by 8 they are able to wear their hat (without being told to) and speak up if they have no suncream to wear. A lesson she will likely not forget.

In our house my children each have a suncream which lives in their school bag all year round. We have other bottles and pump packs of suncream for days out etc. They are required to wear suncream to school, then reapply at recess and lunch in addition to wearing hats all year round. The school also supplies suncream for those who don’t have a personal one, but not special ones “just in case” a child with an allergy forgets theirs.

If you do speak to the teacher, ask politely what they do if a child cannot use the class suncream and go from there.

What is the schools sunsafe policy? I would take photos of your daughter and talk to the relevant person at school about what happened and how this can be prevented from happening again. The school has a duty of care to your child. Something needs to be put in place to stop this happening again.

yes it is my responsibility to send her protected, but upon realising she wasn't the person who has her in their care Becomes responsible IMO.

This. It should be the parents' responsibility first, but I would be surprised if there's never a class where someone hasn't got their coat or shorts or sunscreen, and teachers should have plans to deal with that on days when it matters. Letting a child get sunburnt when they know she hasn't got suitable sunscreen or a hat isn't good enough. We know sunburn can be dangerous and at the least, it feels sore, but it's preventable, and teachers shouldn't be compounding the mistakes of parents when it's the child who ends up in pain.

@jennymanara, over the years, if a child didn’t have a coat when necessary, I’ve either used one of my children’s outgrown kagols that I kept as a stash, or dived into unnamed lost property, or kept the child in if the weather was too challenging to face without the right kit.
Point being, parents do this all the time, so school should have plans in place.

I would be very upset if this happened to my child. If I had someone else's child in my charge and we went outside on a sunny day I would be ensuring they were sunscreened one way or another even if in this case the child was allergic to the cream I had and I had to keep them in.

The school have a duty of care regardless of whether you put the sunscreen on your child or not. They should have called you if a sunscreen she could use was not available or made the decision to not have her out in the sun.

You are not a dick as a PP suggested, we all forget things sometimes.

Human beings forget things. That happens. But as sensible PPs have said, if you forget and the school are aware, they have a duty of care to let you know. Otherwise they're blaming the child for your mistake

And let's remember, sunburn causes permanent skin damage, even if you can't see it. I actually think it's more important than calling you to take her home for a lot of the illness they'd call you for.

You don't seem to be suggesting going on all funds blazing but I think you're right to discuss it.

I actually hate that schools have kids out all day with no shade, regardless of suncream and hats. I'm outrageously pale and sensitive to the sun. Even with suncream and a hat, I get sunstroke if I'm out all day without shade. It happened every sports day as a child.

You say you're a teacher, why on earth are you asking us if its appropriate to bring it up with the school ? You know its an act of omission and neglect on behalf of the school. Your child has been burned. This is a safeguarding issue.

The only downside of something like this is the ensuing witch hunt that will happen in the class room, the upset to someone whilst the whole shebang is investigated, and there quite possibly might be a sacrificial TA (Have seen that before) .

The hats definitely should be enforced. Sunscreen not so much. Parents should apply in the morning and children reapply at lunch. I’d be more angry about the hat.