To think this a bit suspicious?

[Cyrusc]

It's a minor one but since it's just happened and I'm on mumsnet anyway thought I'd throw it out there!

DH and I watching tv. DD just started crying on the monitor, I asked him if he'd go give her a bottle. As he was just about to get up a text message came through on his phone which was lying on the arm of the couch. He glanced at the screen, put the phone in his pocket and went to give her the bottle.

AIBU to find that odd? Why he'd bring the phone with him when he wasn't going to be able to look at it in DDs room? If it were me I'd just leave it where it was. I don't know why it's spiked my attention but something just didn't seem right. Am I being daft?

For me it depends on what he’s like with his phone generally speaking. Someone who is a bit of a phone addict (like myself), it would be quite normal behaviour. My exh (we didn’t split due to infidelity or anything phone related) was similar. However someone like my partner, who is borderline averse to using his phone at all (I find it amazing we got together at all, having seen all the calls and texts he ignores), it would be very strange behaviour, from them personally.

You're right, @Sundancer77. Need to be more careful with my words. Appreciate the reminder.

Hope it all turns out to be innocent op.

DD just started crying on the monitor, I asked him if he'd go give her a bottle. As he was just about to get up a text message came through on his phone which was lying on the arm of the couch. He glanced at the screen, put the phone in his pocket and went to give her the bottle.

Eh? What? He looks at his phone and then puts it in his pocket as receives it and goes upstairs with it instead of leaving it downstairs?
Bit lost, how is that any different to any of my male friends (I have a couple) texting me and me I should have left my phone downstairs otherwise I'm guilty and DH would doubt me of whatever?!

This seems a really normal thing to do. What isn’t normal is your level of suspicion

This

Reading this it does sounds daft, however it's the vibe or intuition you have that to me makes me think you may NBU

This.

I would check and ask just because I’m suspicious type and won’t calm down without it, but tbh I can’t see much in this situation. I take my phone to the toilet with me and even to the shower sometimes. I look at MN, or check my emails, or even do shopping list. I always take mobile with me if I’m checking DD at night - I use it as a light.
It does sound as he’s planning to be on the phone in the spare room but even this could be innocent like playing a game or browsing. He probably wants you to think that he’s sleeping to escape parental duties.

No matter how many times you read it, there's nothing even vaguely suspicious about it.

You might be pleased to hear that YABU.

I'm glued to my phone. I even take it to the loo. I don't like other people looking at my phone and I never leave it lying around. I'm not proud of that.

But I'm also not having an affair and have nothing whatsoever to hide. It's just a habit.

Sorry, just notice that your DH offered you to go to the spare room. I don’t think it’s because he’s going to use his phone, it will wake your DC. You probably looked concerned and he decided that you’re tired.

I personally don’t think OP is being overly suspicious in my opinion as I think it’s a bit strange that he took his phone with him .
My OH has 2 phones( work and private ) and as soon as he gets home he immediately puts them on charge in our lounge .
I don’t think OP is being Unreasonable at all .

If you got a vibe then trust the vibe.

Lilymossflower,
Yes I totally agree with you.
Why take your phone with you ??
It’s only the next room ?

I think you should respect your instinct. When something feels off like this it's usually something you need to know.

No I wouldn't find this at all suspicious!

It all depends on the bigger picture.
If the dh normally leaves his phone around and then suddenly starts being surgically attatched to it then there is clearly a problem.

Are there any other concerns you have regarding his current behaviour?

The one time I suspected, couldn't even tell you why I suspected, just a feeling, I was right. Personally I'd check.

Q

@Handsoffmysweets at 18 months old yes I would. Especially whilst laid down in a cot.

Apologies if my "faux concern" offends you.

I wouldn't think it was suspicious at all. If I was in the middle of doing something and I had a message, I would put it in my pocket and think 'I'll look at that in a minute' and carry on, then look when I got the chance.

I completely get that Resting I think it was because the phone was lying on the arm of the chair the whole time he was sitting there and he knew he would be coming straight back to that chair within a minute or two (as he did). We live in a bungalow and her room is literally steps away from where we were sitting. Just seemed odd that's all. I accept it sounds completely harmless and I'm hopefully way off the mark!

Utterly ridiculous or decent parent?

Fwiw my kids are way past this stage now but neither of them were ever left in a cot, alone, with a bottle. It's what? 15 minutes out of your evening to supervise them drinking a bottle of milk. I think maybe I'm not the one being ridiculous here.

It's quite nasty to insinuate the OP isn't a "decent parent" cricketmum84. As you say your DC are well past this stage perhaps you're forgetting what it's like to have small children.

The OP is clearly under strain, she's not getting any sleep, her marriage is having difficulties and on top of that you think it's perfectly ok to lambast her parenting too. Nice.

An 18 month old having a bottle in her cot is really not an issue. My 8 month old can confidently feed herself a bottle.