AIBU to think the question, "would you like me to take my shoes off?" is rude?

[Underhiseye2]

Just that really. An estate agent came to value my house today. The first thing he did was introduce himself and we shook hands. The second thing, he stepped inside and looked around and asked "shall I take my shoes off?".

I would never dream of not taking my shoes off on entering someone's house, except maybe my MILs because she is a filthy mare, it's automatic.

Is this question code for, "I think your house is dirty"? Straight up, I am not the house proud lady that my own mother was, but man, this place is clean and tidy. We are part hard-wood floor and part carpet (which could be seen from where estate agent was standing).

Only on MN!
Not in RL!

Why on earth is it rude to ask FGS?

No it’s sensible to ask. I prefer people not to take their shoes off when they visit my house. Some people like you are a shoes off house. How do you know which type of house you’re in unless you ask?

YABU. In my house we usually keep shoes on, so no, it's not natural for me to take them off when visiting. As a child I was taught that it's rude to remove your shoes at someone else's house unless they invite you to. Now I tend to ask because I know some people do prefer that everyone take their shoes off.

YANBU for not wanting people to wear shoes in your house. YABU for assuming that this is 'automatic' for everyone or that asking about it is somehow rude.

Asking me is putting me in the position of having to say “no, of course not”
Dont be ridiculous. If you want shoes off and they ask you say' yes, please, thanks!'
How is that putting you in a bad position?
Most of the Muslim families in my area like you to take shoes off and I was told this was a cultural issue so I do it automatically when i go on a house visit but theres plenty that say' 'no, its ok'
So to me this means some people like visitors to take shoes off and some like them on! The only way you'll know for sure is to ask.

I thought asking if your shoes should be removed was the height of politeness. My mum taught me to always ask.

I have wood floors now, so the only time I would request shoes off is if in high heels. But I find that if people don’t ask, they tend to take them off automatically, which embarrasses me because I have two cats, a dog, a three and a four year old! My lot could trump anything in terms of germs that you could stomp in on your shoes!

It’s rude to ask because it makes people feel uncomfortable to be asked. You feel you’re supposed to say no, out of politeness.

If someone is genuinely happy to remove their shoes, they don’t ask, they just do. If your house is dirty or dangerous in some way you can tell me to put my shoes back on. Or if I see you’ve all got your shoes on, I’ll do likewise.

Asking me is putting me in the position of having to say “no, of course not”
No it’s giving you the opportunity to say yes take you shoes off or no I prefer you to leave them on.
It’s not a trick question.

What a bizarre take on a polite question.

It’s rude to ask because it makes people feel uncomfortable to be asked. You feel you’re supposed to say no, out of politeness
Stop projecting feelings onto people that don’t exist. I always ask because I genuinely want to know. It makes no difference to me either way.

For me it’s not a rude question, it’s a strange question. Of course, you should take shoes off inside. I do it in other people’s houses without asking. But I’m not from UK originally.

You're being totally ridiculous, it's not all about you, an estate agent spends their whole working life going into people's houses where they have different rules, of course he's going to check first

Get over yourself.

*It’s bit a rude question but it’s one I absolutely ducking HATE!!!!! Yes, take your bloody filthy shoes off. Isn’t it just natural to do that? Asking me is putting me in the position of having to say “no, of course not”.

Because I’m too polite. I would never ask you to remove your shoes but I would judge you for not doing it. And I would Hoover up after you. Walking outdoor muck around someone’s house is foul*
Escapade1234
This is the most weird and strange thing I've ever seen on here. Why not answer the question truthfully, that's usually why people ask questions, you know, because they want to know the answer.

Yabu.

It’s leaning one way here with only a small handful of us who automatically take our shoes off in other people’s houses. Loving that I’ve got a “get a grip” and biscuit picture already, my first of both!

I wonder if all the YABU respondents are filthy mares, but don’t know it? (Totally joking, but as you can’t see my smile on a mumsnet post, thought I should add this)

that's usually why people ask questions, you know, because they want to know the answer

😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I would politely disagree.

Well you can see mine OP!

Glad you’re taking it well OP as you’re clearly mad as fuck

I didn't think I could be surprised by a shoes-on-or-off thread, but you live and learn.

Honestly, OP - how on earth can you be offended by a question?

I'm a social worker. In all my years the only time I had to take my shoes off was for religious reasons.

You're the odd one here not the estate agent.

I wonder if all the YABU respondents are filthy mares, but don’t know it?
No I have no illusions about my filthy mare status.

@caughtinanet - should the estate agent have his own rules though, of politeness? I am an agent of the estate and I shall respect my customers by removing shoes on entry, automatically without being asked, and shall even insist on removed whence they tell me I can leave them on.

I’ll be back in 5. I am just going to get over myself.

Dear lordy @escapade1234 I'd feel so confused living in your world where there are secret correct answers to insidious questions.

Most people are actually genuine and straightforward, not being passive aggressive.

It's your issue if you don't feel able to say "yes please" to the shoes question.

Yabu. Not everyone expects shoes off. Some might find it strange or prefer you not to.

Traditionally posher people didn't take shoes off inside - perhaps because someone else wad doing the cleaning!

Do you always go out your way to be offended like this? I'd say his question is the exact opposite of rude. Some people expect people to take their shoes off others - those you charmingly describe as filthy mares - don't bother about it. Hes an EA he has no way of knowing your preference but rather than make the wrong decision hes asked what youd prefer. And somehow you perceive this to be rude and a sign he thinks your house is dirty?? Ffs