Gender, sex and online dating

[Shakennotshook]

I am a woman who dates men.

Recently I keep getting matches who are female. I was a bit bemused and checked my settings, nope, I am a woman looking for men.

Aibu to think this makes no sense? I dont know if the site has changed how it categorises profiles, but it would appear I'm now getting transwomen through as matches.

If I've stated I'm a woman looking for men, should my matches not be the gender I specify? I cant get my head around it, but it must be frustrating for these users too?

Makes no sense to me, which app? My friends generally are women looking for women and find Tinder and other ‘straight’ apps to be full of blokes trying to get them for threesomes. Most have given up and use one particular site that’s only for Women looking for women.

Okcupid - on further investigation, there is an option to select you're interested in everyone/trans etc and so you can select how you identify. But these women are not selecting that option.

it would appear I'm now getting transwomen through as matches.

Do you mean you are now getting transvestite males? If so that seems fine to me.

Or do you mean you are getting female transvestites? Or just women who are coming up in the male search?

If I've stated I'm a woman looking for men, should my matches not be the gender I specify?

They should be the sex you specify. If people are claiming to be a sex they are obviously not, then I would report it to the site. You may find they reply that their policy is to allow people to pick whichever.

I dont get to pick sex, I get to pick gender. Sex is not an option.

I dont get to pick sex, I get to pick gender. Sex is not an option.

I would imagine that means people can pick what they want, surely there is a policy somewhere on the site.

Did you see my question above about the exact nature of the issue?

I'm getting women who identify as "she,her" who seem to be biological men from further reading of their profile. Female names though.

I'm getting women who identify as "she,her" who seem to be biological men from further reading of their profile. Female names though.

I sort of think that's fair enough. If you are a straight bloke who likes wearing 'womens clothes' and makeup (but not actually post op transsexual) it's more honest and probably more successful to try to attract straight women than to bother Lesbians.

YANBU to not be interested.

Of course being able to filter by sex would solve all these issues.

Of course being able to filter by sex would solve all these issues.

It wouldnt though, as I'm not interested in men who "present" (I don't know the correct term) as female. Being able to filter out those who identify as she and her would solve it for me personally.

to try to attract straight women than to bother Lesbians.

I dont agree.