Why are people so rude & weird?

[Maryqueenofscots83]

I'm currently looking after a friend's house in a town on the South coast.

I've been here for several weeks and I can't believe how rude and deranged strangers are here. Normally I'm up north or overseas.

In Tesco, I got called a 'stupid cow' for dropping my keys on the floor after checkout, by a customer, a woman she was with laughed at what she said and they both sneered at me. I'm not sure if I was supposed to have heard. I didn't put anyone else out by dropping my keys, then they walked really close behind me whispering loudly. It was bizarre. I wondered if they were on drugs,. I said nothing because my instincts told me these women were asking for a fight somehow.

Today I was outside Aldi and a guy in a car made kissing noises at me as I got out. Then when I got back in the car after my shop, carrying flowers and he made kissing noises again and said "ah she bought flowers" in a silly, take the piss voice, stuck his hand out the window towards me, not sure why? and his friend in the car with him burst out laughing and then drove off. I just gave them a strange look.

A couple of other incidents like this involving men, total strangers, who appear to be taking the piss for no reason.

A man sort of blocked me in to a parking space, I had a hell of a time getting out of the space, I asked him to move and he wouldn't, with a sneering look on his face and then when I rolled my window down to give him a piece of my mind, he said with a lascivious look on his face "doesn't it feel so good to get in and out of tiny little spaces?"

I went out with a friend to a bar and a man came up behind me and grabbed my head for no reason. I shouted at him to get off me and he did. He kept approaching me after that trying to apologise, but it was like he was taking the piss, it wasn't genuine. In the end we left the bar because of it.

Anyone else get strangers doing this? How do you react?

This isn't a particularly rough place.

Seaside towns whos name begins with a 'B' are all mad.

With the girls it sounds like its down to you being well turned out/having self respect. For people that low, it probably feels like a kick in the teeth. The men just usual pervs.

Somebody mentioned their MIL moving from a nice town to a horrible place with a sea view. I know loads of people from Leeds who do this. Move to horrrible areas of Bridlington beause they're bewitched by a bit of beach. I dont get it.

The problem with these places (Brown Towns) is the collapse of fishing and tourism. Then on top of this all the old B&Bs and hotels are converted into HMOs which nobody wants to move into, so they become dumping grounds for people just out of prison or who have been thrown out of everywhere else or whatever.

Some truly bleak seaside towns in the UK, butI dont know what the answer is.

@Patroclus

I don't think I'll be rushing back to Bournemouth again! Dorset's nice, Bournemouth, I've decided, not so much.

@Greyhound22 - Ugh. Hate that.

I've had that done to me, too when I was younger - people (actually, always men) yelling stuff from cars. Why do they do this? Once when I was in my teens, I had a man yell something horrible out the window in passing and then come back to ask for my number. I was so young I didn't know what to say, I stood there shocked while he wrote out his number and thrust it at me. After he had drove off I dropped it down a drain. Wish I had had enough confidence back then to tell him to fuck off.

I have some good memories fom that area of the world but from what I've heard and read recently, I'll stick to the rural parts.

I am from Bournemouth and nothing like this has happened to me there! Sounds like a run of extremely bad luck?

I knew this was going to be Bournemouth! I'm sorry you why through that, but you'll be out soon. I have family living there and I always dread visiting because of the sketchy characters and "sticking out" even when I try to be as nondescript as possible.

Bournemouth used to be lovely, but like many seaside towns on the south coast, it has gone downhill and gets quite raucous at weekends and during the summer. The PP who mentioned guest houses being turned into HMOs has hit the nail on the head. Many drug addicts live in HMOs, and many homeless people gravitate towards the south coast resorts, as the weather is generally warmer, so better for sleeping rough.

Also, the drink culture has made many towns resemble the wild west on Saturday nights - there are hoards of drunk people roaming around, which make for an intimidating atmosphere if you're alone in town at night. It's worse in seaside towns during summer, as they attract stag parties etc. The paramedics spend much of their time dealing with drunk people who've got into fights, or passed out in a coma.

I lived off Holdenhurst Road for a few years back in the '90s. One night, after we'd been out on the town, a colleague gave me a lift home. He didn't know the area well, and it seems my directions of, "carry on over the railway bridge, turn right and follow the road round till you get to the main route through," weren't good enough. So he stopped to ask a woman walking by. I thought everyone knew the red light district was round that way, so hadn't thought to warn him...

There’s nothing's new about Boscombe's drug problem, it was like that back then, too. And Holdenhurst Road always had a good few cheap takeaways, and a dodgy video shop with blacked out windows.

I loved living there though, especially being able to walk down to the beach for a swim after work.

Are the northern seaside towns the same or is the colder climate a definite factor? I feel quite depressed reading this thread, humanity is so complex isn't it.

Well @Patroclus I live in a seaside town beginning with B. It's lovely - in winter, spring and autumn. Summer not so much. Brawls, men peeing up the walls, booze bottles dumped everywhere, nasty. You're right about it being mad, but for three quarters of the year it's bonkers in a nice way!

There's been a programme of rehousing ex offenders and drug users to Boscombe since the 80s I believe. Were you at Soho in Christchurch by any chance?

I thought you were going to say Brighton. I worked in Brighton once, people there are so rude I totally lost the will to live. I left after a month

@bluedottybus Yes Soho in Christchurch. How did you know?

I used to get stuff happening to me like this all the time - in the North where I lived until I was 22 and in the South when I moved down here.

I wasn't beautiful but I was attractive and I guess I just caught the eye of men who were pestering and women who assumed I was stuck up (I'm not).

I have a solution for you....get really fat. I'm a size 20 now and never have any of this bollocks!

It starts up again to varying degrees as I lose weight....

@Lovechemicalbrothers - sorry to depress. I also met some people in Bmouth during my sit who are absolute treasures. Didn't mention them in my post.

Maryqueen it's fine! Just sad reading about people treating others so badly and people being so down on their luck in other cases.

I must be really fugly as fortunate enough to have escaped such nasty abuse - every cloud! 😅

@Maryqueenofscots83 I know the venue and the usual type of clientele... cocky older divorced dudes trying it on with younger women

Hi, sorry to hear about your experience. Bournemouth can be a place of extremes, from extreme wealth to those with nothing. I know each area very well and often frequent those supermarket. The one in Holdenhurst road has a few characters but I've never experienced and rudeness in the big Tesco.

Intend to travel a bit and I know Bournemouth can be a bit standoff ish in general terms but there are lots of people that come to live in Bournemouth + tourism so lacks the community feel.