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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why are people so rude & weird?

144 replies

Maryqueenofscots83 · 26/06/2019 21:06

I'm currently looking after a friend's house in a town on the South coast.

I've been here for several weeks and I can't believe how rude and deranged strangers are here. Normally I'm up north or overseas.

In Tesco, I got called a 'stupid cow' for dropping my keys on the floor after checkout, by a customer, a woman she was with laughed at what she said and they both sneered at me. I'm not sure if I was supposed to have heard. I didn't put anyone else out by dropping my keys, then they walked really close behind me whispering loudly. It was bizarre. I wondered if they were on drugs,. I said nothing because my instincts told me these women were asking for a fight somehow.

Today I was outside Aldi and a guy in a car made kissing noises at me as I got out. Then when I got back in the car after my shop, carrying flowers and he made kissing noises again and said "ah she bought flowers" in a silly, take the piss voice, stuck his hand out the window towards me, not sure why? and his friend in the car with him burst out laughing and then drove off. I just gave them a strange look.

A couple of other incidents like this involving men, total strangers, who appear to be taking the piss for no reason.

A man sort of blocked me in to a parking space, I had a hell of a time getting out of the space, I asked him to move and he wouldn't, with a sneering look on his face and then when I rolled my window down to give him a piece of my mind, he said with a lascivious look on his face "doesn't it feel so good to get in and out of tiny little spaces?"

I went out with a friend to a bar and a man came up behind me and grabbed my head for no reason. I shouted at him to get off me and he did. He kept approaching me after that trying to apologise, but it was like he was taking the piss, it wasn't genuine. In the end we left the bar because of it.

Anyone else get strangers doing this? How do you react?

This isn't a particularly rough place.

OP posts:
Maryqueenofscots83 · 26/06/2019 23:15

Hopefully it doesn't sound like I'm dissing Dorset or Bournemouth. I think Dorset is a beautiful county.

OP posts:
MissKittyBeaudelais · 26/06/2019 23:19

I think the human race has lost it. I prefer dogs 😊

Lacebug · 26/06/2019 23:21

That must be interesting, housesitting in different locations, so is Bournemouth the only place you have encountered anti-social people who try to pick fights with you?

SpanglyPop · 26/06/2019 23:23

Oh OP are you the "tax dodging" (alleged by some posters!) House sitting traveller from another thread? I read your other thread with interest. Enjoy the south - it's not all the same as what you've experienced keep away from Brighton though

detangler · 26/06/2019 23:30

We holidayed in the area last year and I found myself in Boscombe at one point. Lots of street drinkers. I witnessed a horrible chase between a (presumed) drug dealer and a man who he said he owed money to. I wouldn't be rushing back there.

Maryqueenofscots83 · 26/06/2019 23:31

@Lacebug - I did get harassed on the odd occasion when I spent 12 months living in London in my early 20s. Mostly it was drunk men and random bum pinchers on the tube.

I also encountered a weirdo once down in small town Australia but I didn't feel unsafe like I did in Tesco of all places.

Yes I'm the "Tax dodging" house sitting lady ha (I do actually pay my taxes just not here in UK.)

OP posts:
LadyRannaldini · 26/06/2019 23:35

Supermarket car parks seem to bring out the very worst in people. We were entertained today by a man who arrived and parked very close to another car then had great difficulty getting out of his car. The driver of the originally parked car appeared and started to pit his bags into the boot, the one who had parked so close then berated hime because he couldn't get out easily!

PregnantSea · 26/06/2019 23:36

Are you in Royston Vasey??

These are the sorts of incidents that normally happen once in a blue moon, not all at once.

Maryqueenofscots83 · 26/06/2019 23:39

@PregnantSea

"Are you in Royston Vasey??"

It feels like it. They didn't all happen in 1 day. Been here 2 months

OP posts:
Maryqueenofscots83 · 26/06/2019 23:40

@LadyRannaldini

I hate going to the supermarket, I am going to look into getting mine online in future

OP posts:
Maryqueenofscots83 · 26/06/2019 23:49

"Supermarket car parks seem to bring out the very worst in people. We were entertained today by a man who arrived and parked very close to another car then had great difficulty getting out of his car. The driver of the originally parked car appeared and started to pit his bags into the boot, the one who had parked so close then berated hime because he couldn't get out easily!"

@LadyRannaldini

Lol. Humans are strange creatures

OP posts:
LadyEv · 27/06/2019 00:09

It's definitely not you. I experienced the same sort of thing when I lived in a small ex mining village in South Yorkshire. I pretty quickly came to the conclusion that taking the mick out of others was all the power these people had in their sad little lives. I knew I had done nothing to cause or deserve their comments, the only reason I attracted their attention be is because I happened to be there, they didn't know me and I probably looked like the sort who wasn't going to turn round and thump them. (maybe I stood out a little because I I wore dresses rather than Jeans or jogging bottoms.) I used to ignore them and pretend I hadn't heard it. I think they were angry people who wanted a reaction (maybe knowing they had upset some one gave them a sense of control or vindication IDK) and denying them that reaction was my revenge. They certainly weren't going to feel any sort of remorse or apologise if I challenged them or told them off.

There was a lot of drug and alcohol abuse going on. I remember walking past the school gates several times at pick up time where the parents were smoking weed while waiting for their kids. I had smack heads shouting random abuse at me walking back from the Asda. Then there were my two neighbours taking the piss out of my Doc Martens but these were two grown men pushing 40 who still lived with their parents (no SEN.) Yet apparently I'm the loser for wearing Doc Martens.

I'm so glad I don't live there any more, it was the land of no hope. (don't get me wrong there were some nice people who live there too. But mainly it seemed full of people who had given up on life.)

Maryqueenofscots83 · 27/06/2019 00:14

@LadyEv Would you care to say which place this was? However I'm being nosy understand if you'd rather not say.

I am looking at a house sit in Haworth after my next sit in Scotland. Yorkshire is a big place but hope it's not there!

OP posts:
CallieOMalley · 27/06/2019 00:17

St Andrews is nice and all. But it’s still Fife 😂

LadyEv · 27/06/2019 00:17

I think it's okay to say as I don't live there anymore (thankfully) It's Goldthorpe. The birthplace of Brian Blessed.

DrCoconut · 27/06/2019 00:24

Goldthorpe is the arse end of civilisation. Now it's industry is gone it's a hopeless ghost of its former self. I have encountered some very rude people in Dorset too. It's probably not confined to one area, they are everywhere 😂

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 27/06/2019 00:27

Omg run away! Sounds like the beginning of a creepy horror movie!!

Maryqueenofscots83 · 27/06/2019 00:31

OK good to know I'll avoid any house sits in Goldthorpe.

@DrCoconut

One thing I have noticed about Dorset is that it gets so crowded in the summer, I think that this does lend itself somewhat to incidences of road rage and general aggressive/tense behaviour? - saw some of that last summer.

OP posts:
Maryqueenofscots83 · 27/06/2019 00:32

@SolsticeBabyMaybe

I know!! I'm leaving in 4 days for Scotland, I am pleased to say..

OP posts:
Maryqueenofscots83 · 27/06/2019 00:34

Also there are no motorways in Dorset and some of the roads are ancient, if you want to get somewhere, you can often spend half an hour stuck behind some joker doing 40 mph in a 60 mph zone. Adds to the tense mood on the roads

OP posts:
Jeremybearimybaby · 27/06/2019 00:35

Full moon maybe? Wink
I got called a cunt in Primark in Glasgow once, then hassled by a homeless guy on Sauchiehall St a few mins after that - other times I've had a great time there! Bad luck perhaps. Flowers

Jeremybearimybaby · 27/06/2019 00:35

Oops, maybe heading here isn't the best idea then!! Wink

Meangirls36 · 27/06/2019 00:36

Yeah all these lovely small towns can have big areas of drug addicts due to lack of opportunities. I was outside my Aldi and there was a lady on the floor obviously smashed with a smashed bottle of sherry. We kinda manage to mix it up in my city with shitty places next to really posh places to sort of absorb the trash. I mean i dont mind what people do but keep it indoors.

Maryqueenofscots83 · 27/06/2019 00:42

@Jeremybearimybaby - Not going to Glasgow exactly...I'll be near the Trossachs in the countryside

Jesus, not sure how I'd react if a stranger called me a cunt I think I'd be open mouthed in shock.

OP posts:
skybluee · 27/06/2019 00:50

i've visited Bournemouth for two days and my main memory was when i fell down a flight of stairs, someone came out of a building and literally told me off/screamed at me for daring to make noise (I was really hurt!)

have had a lot of incidents like you describe. i hate it sometimes. i don't know how to make it stop happening. it always tends to be when i'm walking on my own/going to a shop.

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