Why are people so rude & weird?

[Maryqueenofscots83]

I'm currently looking after a friend's house in a town on the South coast.

I've been here for several weeks and I can't believe how rude and deranged strangers are here. Normally I'm up north or overseas.

In Tesco, I got called a 'stupid cow' for dropping my keys on the floor after checkout, by a customer, a woman she was with laughed at what she said and they both sneered at me. I'm not sure if I was supposed to have heard. I didn't put anyone else out by dropping my keys, then they walked really close behind me whispering loudly. It was bizarre. I wondered if they were on drugs,. I said nothing because my instincts told me these women were asking for a fight somehow.

Today I was outside Aldi and a guy in a car made kissing noises at me as I got out. Then when I got back in the car after my shop, carrying flowers and he made kissing noises again and said "ah she bought flowers" in a silly, take the piss voice, stuck his hand out the window towards me, not sure why? and his friend in the car with him burst out laughing and then drove off. I just gave them a strange look.

A couple of other incidents like this involving men, total strangers, who appear to be taking the piss for no reason.

A man sort of blocked me in to a parking space, I had a hell of a time getting out of the space, I asked him to move and he wouldn't, with a sneering look on his face and then when I rolled my window down to give him a piece of my mind, he said with a lascivious look on his face "doesn't it feel so good to get in and out of tiny little spaces?"

I went out with a friend to a bar and a man came up behind me and grabbed my head for no reason. I shouted at him to get off me and he did. He kept approaching me after that trying to apologise, but it was like he was taking the piss, it wasn't genuine. In the end we left the bar because of it.

Anyone else get strangers doing this? How do you react?

This isn't a particularly rough place.

Sounds about right for Bournmouth. Very odd place. And that’s coming for an ex-local. Don’t worry- the whole place isn’t like that. Lots of lovely normal people.

You just have had bad luck theres good and bad everywhere

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10221475/Seaside-towns-have-become-dumping-grounds-for-poor-says-think-tank.html

www.bournemouth.gov.uk/communityliving/LivinginBournemouth/BoscombeRegeneration/BoscombeRegenDocs/BoscombeRegenStats/Boscombe-Strategic-Area-Assessment-1MB.pdf Very long but interesting!

I wonder if the “end of the line” feeling attracts people to seaside downs as they are often the last train stops. And they are seeking to get far away from where they came from.

People ARE weird and rude. I was in Lidl recently and two girls in their late teens made a comment about my “huge bum” and giggled. I’m a size 12 and I don’t wear tight clothes. Weirdos.

People are just as unpleasant sometimes in Waitrose. Not verbally though. More blocking the aisle with trollies and ignoring you. Or when you let them pass they just glare at you. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's hideous. I've spent plenty of time in Dorset - a good friend lives there - and haven't experienced anything like this. Sad to read from a PP that Bournemouth seems to be going down the pan; what a shame.

I did attract my fair share of loonies in Brighton recently, though. Including some whack job who kept going on about my upside-down cross (I was wearing a tear-shaped pendant that didn't even remotely resemble a cross) and all-but accusing me of being a devil-worshipper. Likewise in London, where weird men Will. Not. Leave. Me. Alone. And it's nearly always an exhortation scam. I have stock responses to them that I do not feel comfortable being approached by male strangers, it happens that often.

True to say, my weirdo antenna is often on the alert in the south and it's nearly always because of men. And no, it has nothing to do with what OP, or me, or anyone else happens to look like.

It's not us. It's them.

Also I suppose the south coast is usually the warmest place so you might head for here if you're homeless

I was in Boscombe aldi today it has just been refurbed andlooks good. I am obviously not going to get leered at as too old for that but everyone around me appeared totally normal and I always find it quite a friendly place. Please don`t think badly of Bournemouth I think you have just been unlucky.

"People ARE weird and rude. I was in Lidl recently and two girls in their late teens made a comment about my “huge bum” and giggled. I’m a size 12 and I don’t wear tight clothes. Weirdos."

OMG. Fucking disrespectful.

Sounds like fun. Better than where I live where no-one even says hello.

mariel I’m guessing that was an auto correct and you mean extortion scam?

OP that sounds weird but I haven’t been Bournemouth for twenty years! A lot of places are just full of people off their face though. I think in London we just notice less because of overpopulation generally!

@MarieIVanArkleStinks - Glad it's not just me

I've spent time in West Dorset (Dorchester area) not experienced anything weird there.

I did get harrassed occasionally when living in London but that was when I was younger and I suppose in a big city you're always going to get weirdos.

@Piggle23 - I'd much rather be ignored than insulted and grabbed.

The two women in Tesco my spidey senses were on high alert, I felt like I was about to get my head kicked in for some reason.

I temped for a while in the NHS in community mental health. There are a lot of mentally unwell people being cared for in a creaking NHS. Drug use is common with many people with serious mental health issues.

They sometimes displayed aggressive behaviour, paranoia etc. Staff were occasionally attacked. As were members of the public.

I’m not insinuating that everyone with mental health issues is dangerous - far from it! But the combination of drugs and illness with limited psychiatric care is dangerous.

Although the two teenagers in my example are probably just nasty little girls!

Yeah Bournemouth is a fucking hole and everybody is off their tits.

Stop by London on your way back. It's super friendly.

Hope on the tube on a Thursday night around 10pm. If you're lucky, or unlucky depending on your POV, you might find yourself partaking in a sing song.

(this has happened to me several times over the years).

Thanks everyone for your comments. It sounds weird but I felt like I was attracting it to me for some reason and came out of Aldi today wondering what on earth was going on. I realise now it's probably just people on drugs or whatever.

mariel I’m guessing that was an auto correct and you mean extortion scam

Yes. Ha ha! Doesn't help that I'm blind as a bat even with reading specs on my tiny phone screen. :)

The men are trying to flirt with you no doubt about it. I think the girls might have been looking for a fight or gearing up to mug you or something,
Just ignore all these lunatics.

The only place I've ever encountered an objectionable weirdo was in Cambridge.

I came to St Andrews which is a very genteel city in a quiet part of Scotland. It’s where Prince William chose to be educated. The first evening I walked home from work I saw two rats in rubbish bags at the back of a restaurant, a man urinating openly in the street, and a woman urinating in a skip. On the way to work the next morning two women stole my purse. In 25 years of living here, I’ve never seen anything similar. It’s nothing to do with north or south.

@Boysey45

"The men are trying to flirt with you no doubt about it. I think the girls might have been looking for a fight or gearing up to mug you or something,"

Pretty damn weird way to flirt, if this was the case?

I wouldn't mind being flirted with in a nice, normal, non-deranged way. Lol.

"I came to St Andrews which is a very genteel city in a quiet part of Scotland. It’s where Prince William chose to be educated. The first evening I walked home from work I saw two rats in rubbish bags at the back of a restaurant, a man urinating openly in the street, and a woman urinating in a skip. On the way to work the next morning two women stole my purse. In 25 years of living here, I’ve never seen anything similar. It’s nothing to do with north or south."

@user1469530553

It's like these things come in 3's or 4's

What a terrible time you have had, I expect you will be glad to get home. You are fortunate to live in a place where there are no drug addicts or other weirdos, it sounds marvellous.

I suppose you can't tell everyone where you live or there will be a huge influx of people from all over the country wanting to live there and it won't be idyllic anymore.

@Lacebug - I don't actually live anywhere, I house sit full time in the UK and overseas

Lots of places on the South Coast are indeed a magnet for people living in unstable/homeless accommodation and there are fewer and fussier resources to help them, especially if they have mental health issues. Alcohol problems also abound. It's a shame on every level, for those suffering with problems and for the quite anti-social environment it produces as well.

I've spent plenty of time in various big cities where there are presumably weirdos and people on drugs but not had any trouble, I guess you can say I've been lucky.