''friend'' made me speechless ....

[BEhappy0320]

I feel so annoyed that someone can be so ridiculous.

So today was DD's class party and we parents were all invited to go see a show the kids put up. There were limited seats and we were all told no to leave empty seat. I saw a friend of mine who had two empty seats next to her, while approaching her she said to me ' I am saving this for X'. I was really shocked.

First of all, her friend X already had a sit right behind her.
Second, I thought we were friends. Even if we were not, 'saving seats' at this kind of situation is really inappropriate IMO.
So I didn't say anything and moved on. She later was told again by the teacher not to keep seats empty then she mumbled then moved, so others took the seats.

SO what bothered me is, this is someone that over the years, at her lowest time when she had to deal with divorce , I had gone out of my way to help her out, including numerous time help pick up her son at last minute notice, took his son for sleepovers (he is not really friend of my daughter), went to her house to listen to her moan about her situation many many times... go to help her with computer problems, etc...
And now she is telling me I can't be sitting next to her? Unbelievable!

Worst thing is: this weekend it's my turn to host a regular gathering and she is among the guests (this has been arranged long time ago). Don't feel like want to have anything to do with her again.
AIBU?

Some people have low expectations of friends it seems.

some people are not 12, are past the BFF stage and have learnt that's it's ok to see other people

I hope this thread goes in classics, it's brilliant.

I can understand why you feel cheesed off, OP; she does seem to have behaved oddly, seeing as the 'friend' she was supposedly saving the seats for was right behind her. It also sounds like the behaviour of my DD1's classmates at last year's Sports Day (she was in year 4), telling her she couldn't sit next to her because they were saving it for a friend.

Your 'friend' got her comeuppance from what you said, seeing as she was keeping empty seats when the head was asking parents not to do this.

She's clearly not really a friend at all, so not worth all this headspace, as you obviously know. Good idea to cheer yourself up by going to the garden centre.

This is a great wake up call. She doesn't value you as much as you do her.

She uses you. I know you are shocked but it's actually great news. Now you can say no to her annoying requests for help and you know where you stand with her.

You are not her friend. Sorry you were hurt but it's better you know.

Id be cross to! I remember being at a concert with 2 under 2's and found a seat to sit on, only to be told by another parent (who i know and like) that the seat was saved for her friend who was just coming! Obviously i sat down and asked her to repeat herself as missed what she said. She didn't. I had a seat and a child on each knee. Ended well, but pissed me off!

What do you mean when you say you have 'a soft spot for her situation'? You have a soft spot for her being single after a tough divorce???? What a peculiar thing to say.

Well knowing me I would have sat in the spare seat. But why did you expect to sit next to your friend? Are't you being a bit touchy and immature?
After everything you have done for her she didn't repay you by treating you like a Queen....

I get it OP, little things like this can hurt.

I have (had?) a friend who would always come to me for help. Raid my wardrobe if she had a wedding, I'd share wholesale stuff (that she liked) when I went to the wholesale market, I was on the phone with her most nights through her divorce.

One day, years ago, a marketing person came to the office with sample size boxes of a certain cosmetic, 8 in each pack. I didn't take a whole pack because it wouldn't suit my skin colour. I asked my beloved friend if I could have one of hers. She said no, she needed it all. It stung briefly and I moved on. I carried on sharing and giving. We were friends.

Well, guess what? She never offers to share anything with me, is never available when I need a shoulder, would not even buy a can of coke for me when she nips out to lunch. She has more money than me too.

I just remembered this when reading your post and it took me back to that day. I guess you're not that much a friend. I can imagine how you feel.

Let it go. It's not worth wondering about.

You are being a seatzilla. Move on.

It seems like some of the posters on this thread are the ones who have no compunction about rebuffing someone.

Dsis was on a group walking holiday and thought she'd made friends with some of the people. At lunch she went with her tray to sit with them to be told, "Oh, that seat's saved for Miriam." Clearly dsis was upset enough to repeat this story when she got home. She said she was left standing awkwardly with tray looking for another free seat.

Also a lady I know who is in one of those posh retirement villages. I remember her saying that at lunch there is much "seat saving" and the favoured recipients can change like the wind.

Welcome to MN, OP. My goodness what a lot of response you have generated with your unusual first post.

You are being a seatzilla.

what a nice way to put it.

I’d expect your reaction from a four year old, which given you were at your dd’s class party, I’d take a confident gamble in saying you’re not...

Earl Grey I'm not 12 actually but thanks for reassuring me the skin care regime is worth it 😂

I imagine when the OP says she has a soft spot for her situation she means, she can sympathize.

The whole notion of seat saving is utterly.cringey though. I can't bear saving seats for anyone myself so wont do it. Makes you sound like a stupid teenager. But I wouldn't get overly offended or worried if someone said this. I'd think they'd made themselves look stupid.

You got "shocked" by this... seriously? Bit ott reaction. Maybe she had plans with X already. Let it go. And if it really bothers you that much: just ask her next time you see her.

'Seat saving' is extremely childish and annoying Exactly.