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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

''friend'' made me speechless ....

93 replies

BEhappy0320 · 26/06/2019 14:31

I feel so annoyed that someone can be so ridiculous.

So today was DD's class party and we parents were all invited to go see a show the kids put up. There were limited seats and we were all told no to leave empty seat. I saw a friend of mine who had two empty seats next to her, while approaching her she said to me ' I am saving this for X'. I was really shocked.

First of all, her friend X already had a sit right behind her.
Second, I thought we were friends. Even if we were not, 'saving seats' at this kind of situation is really inappropriate IMO.
So I didn't say anything and moved on. She later was told again by the teacher not to keep seats empty then she mumbled then moved, so others took the seats.

SO what bothered me is, this is someone that over the years, at her lowest time when she had to deal with divorce , I had gone out of my way to help her out, including numerous time help pick up her son at last minute notice, took his son for sleepovers (he is not really friend of my daughter), went to her house to listen to her moan about her situation many many times... go to help her with computer problems, etc...
And now she is telling me I can't be sitting next to her? Unbelievable!

Worst thing is: this weekend it's my turn to host a regular gathering and she is among the guests (this has been arranged long time ago). Don't feel like want to have anything to do with her again.
AIBU?

OP posts:
slashlover · 26/06/2019 16:08

Got my Xs and Ys mixed up.

OP, if a friend asks you to save her a seat because she wants to sit next you, then another friend comes along and asks to sit there. What do you do?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/06/2019 16:12

Slash - after switching your X and Y, if you were X and you sat behind Y would you not TELL her "oh hi, if you were saving that seat for me, I'm here now?"
OR would you just sit behind her and ignore her?

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 26/06/2019 16:30

Oh my word, do people really react like this in real life? Shock

I don't even know where to start with that one. If it's true, OP you need to chill. Having friends doesn't mean holding hands all the time unless you are 4 years old.

Babooshkar · 26/06/2019 16:33

Sorry OP I think you need to get a grip..

NCforpoo · 26/06/2019 16:34

YABU. It's just a seat. You found another one. Chill out. Are you always this dramatic?

ScreamingValenta · 26/06/2019 16:42

'Seat saving' is extremely childish and annoying - YANBU to be irritated. I would leave it as feeling irritated, though, and try to forget about it.

livefornaps · 26/06/2019 16:46

Why didn't you just sit down?

livefornaps · 26/06/2019 16:47

Why didn't you just sit down?

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 26/06/2019 16:47

Why would anyone be annoyed about "seat saving"? Never needed to pop in the loo or make a phone call and asked your partner or a friend to save your seat?

I am sure my 5 year old and his class are already more mature than some of the posters Grin

dillusionaldog · 26/06/2019 16:47

@BEhappy0320 I think this has clearly upset you. this is not the way YOU would treat a friend and you feel someone has been prioritised over you when you have done more for your friend.

due to this i would definitely distance. you obviously have a different view of the friendship and you shouldnt waste your time on someone that would upset you.

host the event as planned, big smile, then distance.

TwoPupsAndaHamster · 26/06/2019 16:54

Why did you not point out that X was sitting behind her? That would have made all the difference. You are over thinking this OP.

ScreamingValenta · 26/06/2019 16:55

Never needed to pop in the loo or make a phone call and asked your partner or a friend to save your seat?

No - I'd do all that before I went in. However, strange though it may sound, I am not joined at the hip to my partner or friends - if going to see a performance, it wouldn't bother me in the least to be seated separately. Aside from parents needing to sit with their children to look after them, or a disabled person with a carer, I can't see any need for people to sit together at performances. It's not like, say, a train journey or flight where you'd want someone to talk to.

Yousicktwistedfruit · 26/06/2019 16:56

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EarlGreyOfTwinings · 26/06/2019 16:59

good for you ScreamingValenta, some of us need to nip in the loo and prefer seating with friends or partner. Huge deal apparently.

Jemima232 · 26/06/2019 17:02

Batshit.

Sagradafamiliar · 26/06/2019 17:05

Haha good one OP.

RiftGibbon · 26/06/2019 17:05

See, I'd have just sat down and said 'sorry but [headteacher] said no saving seats, and this one is free'.

ScreamingValenta · 26/06/2019 17:06

But, EarlGrey, if you need to nip to the loo after the performance has started, everyone else will have taken their seats, and it's unlikely anyone would get up and change seats while the show was going on.

Yes, it might be a preference to sit with a friend or partner, but unless there are health/MH factors to consider, I can't see why it actually matters - unless you're planning to whisper to one another or pass sweets all through the performance, which is a whole other annoyance.

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 26/06/2019 17:10

I wouldn't even question why someone would ask their partner to save them a seat whilst they are doing something else and entering a few minutes later before everything starts.

I am more puzzled that people make such a drama about it than anything else. "is that seat taken"? "yes" ,you move on. Do people actually need to think about the incident for days after? Grin

I like to seat next to my DH when we both go to a school thing, which is nearly never, who cares? 🤷

ghrufh · 26/06/2019 17:12

I've had a shit day at work and this has cheered me up massively, thank you Grin

Original poster
BEhappy0320 · 26/06/2019 17:14

It’s Okay to express your opinions but I don’t see the need for swearing.

As I said above , thanks all of you for being sympathetic and also point out it’s probably overacting. I already said I would move on.
But swearing? No thanks no.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 26/06/2019 17:17

Well ok then, bring on the drama llama. 🤣

IrmaFayLear · 26/06/2019 17:20

Why are people being so horrid to the OP?

It is embarrassing and puts you on the back foot if you make your way over to someone only to be told, "I'm saving this seat." Yes, it does make you feel like you are five years old and being left out.

It is different if you say, "Is this seat taken?" and the person has the chance to say, "Oh, I'm sorry, yes it is." But going to sit down and being rebuffed - yes, it's awkward and one has to do the "walk of not caring" but with a flaming face.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 26/06/2019 17:23

I think you are getting a hard time here op. I'd be a bit naffed off too. Some people have low expectations of friends it seems.

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 26/06/2019 17:33

It is different if you say, "Is this seat taken?" and the person has the chance to say, "Oh, I'm sorry, yes it is.

so the OP should have asked before rudely trying to seat down without asking? Grin

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