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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh and girl on shpock

91 replies

Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:25

Ok so name changed for this as basically it's embarrassing and I don't know if I'm being ridiculous.
Bit of background ....been with d h 10 years two dc and I'm pregnant with third. Dh has never given me any reason to not trust him. Good husband , dad nice guy etc.
Last night I was looking on his shpock at a window company as we are moving house very soon. In the news feed there was a girl let's call her emma . I said oh who's emma as it was a picture of her in a swimming costume and said "emma 9 is selling a swimming costume" it has already been clicked on. He said he didn't know who she was. I thought about it for a minute and questioned a bit more . ... Said you've obviously clicked on it. He said he must have looked he's sorry but he didn't know her. The thing is on my news feed i only get people in friends with on Facebook or in my phone book coming up.i checked and she lives locally.
He has reassured me that he doesn't know her that he clicked on her picture of the swimming costume when scrolling through local things for sale and has no idea how she was in his news feed . Was very sorry he's upset me , embarrassed etc etc .
The thing is aibu to be pissed off that He was looking at pictures of a local girl in her swimming costume when here I am pregnant. It's knocked my confidence a bit and I just didn't expect it of him really i thought much better if him so I feel quite sad.

OP posts:
Riverside85 · 26/06/2019 06:30

A nine year old girl?

Original poster
Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:32

God no!! A woman! Perhaps girl was the wrong choice of word Blush

OP posts:
DoneLikeAKipper · 26/06/2019 06:34

How old is the girl/woman then?

edgeofheaven · 26/06/2019 06:34

One of many reasons not to use the word "girl" for an adult woman. I also thought your DH is looking at pictures of children in swimming costumes online.

IceRebel · 26/06/2019 06:35

The thing is on my news feed i only get people in friends with on Facebook or in my phone book coming up.i checked and she lives locally.

But this is Shpock. If you search items for sale locally then anything can and does show up.

VivienneHolt · 26/06/2019 06:36

I think your overreacting a bit - it might have been an accident, or just idle curiosity. I’m very happily married and I’ve clicked on Instagram posts of attractive men before just to have a look. I don’t really see an issue with it.

TixieLix · 26/06/2019 06:37

Is the "9" a misprint? If not I'd be more concerned he's knowingly looking at the page of a 9 year old than anything else.

TixieLix · 26/06/2019 06:37

Sorry Cross post.

Yeahnahmum · 26/06/2019 06:39

First of all: dont call a woman a girl. Especially bc in this case it sounded like your DH was eyeing up a 9yo...Hmm
And second of all : really??!?! You worry about him clicking on a photo of a pretty lady in a bikini.... nope. Dont do that. Hopefully it is just your hormones saying thatGrin Because jee, that is not worth one second of your thoughts at all.

Original poster
Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:41

9 just the number after the name not age and use of word girl was wrong should be woman didn't think about that when I posted . Didn't think 9 year olds could have accounts on shpock and be selling their old clothes tbh.
I am perfectly willing to accept I'm being ridiculous just needed a bit of perspective.

OP posts:
Yawninfinitum · 26/06/2019 06:42

Why Emma 9?
That suggests a 9 year old which is obviously a whole different issue.

If he has looked at a photo of a woman in a swimming costume on a selling page- well it’s hardly hard core porn is it.
I look at all sorts on my phone it doesn’t mean I’m about to have an affair or an unhappy with my DH.
I was nosing in the insta of mark wright last night (who I can’t stand btw) but if my DH looked at my phone and saw that and was terribly hurt and upset Id think it an over reaction for sure.

Give your DH a break if he is a decent man and never given you cause for concern.
Don’t shame him over something really trivial that may not even have occurred.

Pregnancy hormones are a bitch.

Passthecherrycoke · 26/06/2019 06:42

I don’t know why you’re so suspicious of this tbh. I also thought it was a 9 year old but now I think her username is emma9?

Tbf if someone was selling a swimming costume (gross) and actually modelling it themselves I’d have a look too. Totally weird thing to do.

Morgan12 · 26/06/2019 06:45

Didn't think for a minute that it was a 9 year old girl. But some people like to be dicks about this type of thing.

I think its innocent OP. Although I've never used the site. I think hes just clicked on to a girl, sorry sorry, a woman, in a bikini to have a look.

Ribrabrob · 26/06/2019 06:45

I think it was fairly obvious that Emma9 was the username and not her age. Some posters just like to cause issues and feign stupidity for the sake of it.

Original poster
Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:46

Yes modelling quite a few actually .... I had a nose.
Think I'm going to apologise this morning for over reaction. It's obviously my own insecurity and hormones!
The fact that you all thought dh was looking at 9 year old girls in swimming costumes puts it into perspective just a bit .

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 26/06/2019 06:48

That’s absolute rubbish, it wasn’t obvious at all. Especially as the OP is so upset, it’s easy to assume it must be something sinister. Don’t be so insulting, people aren’t being stupid or dicks, just reading what’s there:

There was this girl

Emma 9 selling a swimming costume

AnyFucker · 26/06/2019 06:54

I think it most likely he just idly clicked without thinking.

Unless he has form for being an ongoing untrustworthy sleaze, put it down to a moment of madness

I wouldn't be happy though if he was leaving evidence for others to see eg following scantily clad ladies on Instagram, liking on FB etc

Original poster
Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:57

@anyfucker
No form for that and certainly not on fb or instagram. Not sleazy at all. Maybe that’s why I was shocked.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 26/06/2019 06:57

Second hand swimming costumes, eeewwww!!!! That's had someone's bum and flaps in it! misses point of thread

Original poster
Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:58

Yes did think that too @honeylulu then had to get back to being disappointed in dh .

OP posts:
SherlockHolmes · 26/06/2019 06:58

I got very insecure and paranoid when pregnant. I imagined DH was up to all sorts which was complete nonsense, and I never think like that at any other time.

Don't worry about it.

Yeahnahmum · 26/06/2019 06:59

@Ribrabrob her husband was looking at emma, 9, selling a bikini...

OP could have framed it a bit better Grin

ExsandOhOhOhs · 26/06/2019 07:00

I thought it meant a child straight away.
Why was he so embarressed? Its only an item of othing?

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 26/06/2019 07:00

I'm normally the first person to call this shit out but that wouldn't bother me at all.

And I'm a really bothered person.

(Another one who thought Emma was a nine year old btw, maybe as I have no idea what schpock is.)

Cyclades1 · 26/06/2019 07:04

Don't apologies to him OP! You have nothing to apologize for.

YANBU to be upset that your DH was perving on another woman in a swimming costume, particularly since you're pregnant. Most normal people (the above posters included) would be uncomfortable with that.

If he's otherwise a decent guy - and he sounds like he is since he didn't get defensive and apologized for upsetting you - then I would let it go.

It is human nature to look - but you don't have to be happy about it! YANBU