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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh and girl on shpock

91 replies

Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:25

Ok so name changed for this as basically it's embarrassing and I don't know if I'm being ridiculous.
Bit of background ....been with d h 10 years two dc and I'm pregnant with third. Dh has never given me any reason to not trust him. Good husband , dad nice guy etc.
Last night I was looking on his shpock at a window company as we are moving house very soon. In the news feed there was a girl let's call her emma . I said oh who's emma as it was a picture of her in a swimming costume and said "emma 9 is selling a swimming costume" it has already been clicked on. He said he didn't know who she was. I thought about it for a minute and questioned a bit more . ... Said you've obviously clicked on it. He said he must have looked he's sorry but he didn't know her. The thing is on my news feed i only get people in friends with on Facebook or in my phone book coming up.i checked and she lives locally.
He has reassured me that he doesn't know her that he clicked on her picture of the swimming costume when scrolling through local things for sale and has no idea how she was in his news feed . Was very sorry he's upset me , embarrassed etc etc .
The thing is aibu to be pissed off that He was looking at pictures of a local girl in her swimming costume when here I am pregnant. It's knocked my confidence a bit and I just didn't expect it of him really i thought much better if him so I feel quite sad.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 26/06/2019 07:05

No, I wouldn't be apologising either

Apologies are for when you are in the wrong

fuzzyduck1 · 26/06/2019 07:05

Poor bloke he was just looking at adverts and he’s being accused of all sorts.

Reminds me of my ex she found emails in my spam folder that went along the lines of check out my profile and let’s meet.

So I was accused of having an affair every other week.

And that’s how she became my ex! No affair I just couldn’t handle the accusations.

Original poster
Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 07:11

Just looking at adverts of a twenty something in a swimming costume obviously no intention to buy said swimming costume.
I just think the timing was off , I’m not a particularly insecure persons happy with my body etc . Just felt a bit like I’m the little pregnant woman at home I guess. Like I say bad timing .

OP posts:
VivienneHolt · 26/06/2019 07:13

Can honestly say with my hand on my heart that if my husband looked at a picture of an attractive woman in a swimming costume on the internet I would not be bothered, and if he was bothered that I sometimes look at pictures of Orlando Bloom in his swimming trunks on Instagram I would think he was being ridiculous. I don’t understand how relationships survive when people act like completely normal and harmless human behaviour is a deep betrayal.

(That was directed at a PP not OP, since OP’s been pretty reasonable about the responses on this thread and had pregnancy hormones as an excuse for feeling weird about this)

PinkOboe · 26/06/2019 07:15

I get a random text from shpock every time someone called hazel sells something, which is quite often. I’ve no idea why and I can’t make it stop.

Original poster
Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 07:17

@pinkOboe that’s good to know . Was worried he was following Emma to get a look every time she was selling a swimming costume for £3 from her holiday in Greece 3 years ago.

OP posts:
IceRebel · 26/06/2019 07:18

PinkOboe

Sounds like you've accidentally followed the user

You may “unfollow” a user go the the person's profile and deactivate by clicking on the yellow star.

Newbie1981 · 26/06/2019 07:22

Wow all these thinking she's 9. I'm no Einstein but it was super obvious that was just a username. No need to berate her for that, how about help with the question! Typical!

I think you're being a bit silly tho OP, it's just an item for sale that's come up as a suggestion because he's local.

MashedSpud · 26/06/2019 07:27

If he was looking at a supermodel in a swimsuit that’s one thing but this woman is local.

Don’t apologise. Men have always been and will continue to be leery pervs who blame it on their genetic makeup.

SkintAsASkintThing · 26/06/2019 07:31

Eh ?? I get allsorts of spamverts / posts from Shpock popping up. I haven't clicked on 99% of them. You have some apologising to do op.

Newbie if the current demographic on MN is anything to go by you probably are at genius level. I didn't immediately leap to Emma 9 literally meaning a 9 year old child either. I'll join you on that genius bench 😂😂😂

SandyY2K · 26/06/2019 07:33

YABU

thesunisoutatlast · 26/06/2019 07:34

Are they actually selling swimming costumes? I've seen this with skimpy underwear and thought it might be code for something else ? One even said don't ask if it's available in the ad Hmm or maybe it's a fetish thing as it's been worn Blush

Newbie1981 · 26/06/2019 07:34

@SkintAsASkintThing haha! Mensa here we come!

Blossom28 · 26/06/2019 07:38

Really, do any of you think a nine year old would be selling their swimming costumes on shpock, and wearing them in the pictures. Come on people, engage brain

MonstranceClock · 26/06/2019 07:41

Fuck sake some people are so dim. Obviously a username.

I think you should apologize. If my husband accused me of something for just looking at a bloke in his swim shorts on facebook, he'd certainly be apologizing to me!

rwalker · 26/06/2019 07:42

hilarious replies god some people are desperate for him to be guilty.

"Don’t apologise. Men have always been and will continue to be leery pervs who blame it on their genetic makeup."

Nothing like a sweeping generalisation must of missed that classes at man school .

Yabbers · 26/06/2019 07:42

Why would you jump to that conclusion? He’s never given you any reason to doubt them but one picture and you think there is a problem? Poor guy.

You’ve said you’ll apologise, fair enough, but you need to ask yourself why you’re so ready to think the worst of him.

edgeofheaven · 26/06/2019 07:52

in the news feed there was a girl let's call her emma . I said oh who's emma as it was a picture of her in a swimming costume and said "emma 9 is selling a swimming costume"

Sorry for all those claiming to be too high IQ to think this is referring to a child but it really does read that way. Strange to use the word "girl" for an adult woman.

MonstranceClock · 26/06/2019 07:54

Plenty of people use the word girl for adults. And plenty of people use the word boy for adults too. People on mumsnet just try and pretend they dont understand to prove some kind of point.
It's the same with the vagina, vulva debate that always appears. Everyone know what the poster means, but assholes like to try and make some sort of point about it.

TickleMyFanny · 26/06/2019 07:56

What’s wrong with looking at people in swimsuits then? I look at blokes in shorts all the time! I’m married not dead 😉

WhatWould · 26/06/2019 07:58

I get pop ups on my phone all the time from shpock about random people selling random things I've not searched for.

edgeofheaven · 26/06/2019 08:00

MonstranceClock believe what you like, honestly until OP clarified I was in the middle of a reply saying she needs to call the police and report her husband to the website.

edgeofheaven · 26/06/2019 08:01

Anyway this thread has taught me not to download or sign up to schpock! Full of odd and annoying pop ups it seems.

Moveit123 · 26/06/2019 08:03

Because its come up saying Emma is selling blah blah in a notification then that means he's followed her and shpock let's the follower know when that person is selling something new

ChippingInLowCarbing · 26/06/2019 08:07

People on this thread are being ridiculous. It’s not your fault if they can reason conte t, it was clear it was NOT A 9 year old child, they’re just being obtuse to have a dig

Until there’s a better word than woman for adult females nany of us will still say girl/girls how ridiculous does a very formal
Woman/women sound in so many situations🙄

Technology/social media is a nightmare for causing rows. I don’t do FB OR any of the snap chat/instagram type things, life is far nicer without it (IMO).

I’m not at all familiar with shpock, but I assume it’s like the others in that you seem to get random things pop up that you didn’t ask for

If she’s selling something I’m guessing those ads are designed to pop up on non friends pages/feeds/whatever

I could probably get hung, drawn & quartered for the things I’ve clicked on via MN let alone the dubious searches I’ve done i the back of a thread! There would definitely be naked men. Fortunately I don’t share my iPhone or iPad but even if I did - him indoors would just roll his eyes and say ‘MN SGAIN’ or ‘when you have perfection at home what are you looking at this for?’ Without a bit of bother. On the other hand I’m more like you, it’s an unfair world 🤷🏻‍♀️ Idvreally try not to worry about it - not so easy when you’re pregnant and feeling less than your sexiest, but remember he’s never given you any reason to doubt him, he loves you and you’re carrying HIS baby, this Emma isn’t worth you worrying about - fit or not. Honest. If she meant anything to him you’d have known from his reaction. And probably already guessed something wasn’t right from his general behaviour.

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