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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dh and girl on shpock

91 replies

Notsure8 · 26/06/2019 06:25

Ok so name changed for this as basically it's embarrassing and I don't know if I'm being ridiculous.
Bit of background ....been with d h 10 years two dc and I'm pregnant with third. Dh has never given me any reason to not trust him. Good husband , dad nice guy etc.
Last night I was looking on his shpock at a window company as we are moving house very soon. In the news feed there was a girl let's call her emma . I said oh who's emma as it was a picture of her in a swimming costume and said "emma 9 is selling a swimming costume" it has already been clicked on. He said he didn't know who she was. I thought about it for a minute and questioned a bit more . ... Said you've obviously clicked on it. He said he must have looked he's sorry but he didn't know her. The thing is on my news feed i only get people in friends with on Facebook or in my phone book coming up.i checked and she lives locally.
He has reassured me that he doesn't know her that he clicked on her picture of the swimming costume when scrolling through local things for sale and has no idea how she was in his news feed . Was very sorry he's upset me , embarrassed etc etc .
The thing is aibu to be pissed off that He was looking at pictures of a local girl in her swimming costume when here I am pregnant. It's knocked my confidence a bit and I just didn't expect it of him really i thought much better if him so I feel quite sad.

OP posts:

SallyWD · 26/06/2019 08:10

Blimey, any man would probably click on a photo of a woman in a swimming costume. I would take a closer look if an image of a handsome man in his speedos appeared on my news feed 😂. Don't waste any more time thinking about this.

DugHug · 26/06/2019 08:15

I couldn’t get upset at my DH looking at photos of a hot girl. If I see photos of a hot guy I zoom in for a good look. And last week I peered out of the upstairs window at next door’s gardener for a good ten minutes. I don’t understand why married people think their spouse should suddenly become blind and not notice attractive people any more.

trackingmedown · 26/06/2019 08:16

i agree that some people are being deliberately obtuse. Many, many people use the word girl where it would be more accurate to say woman. I am going out with a bunch of mates aged between 55/65 tonight and the WhatsApp group refers to it as a ‘Girls Night’ not a “Womens Night’. I would imagine well still be calling it that when we are all in a care home. I get that the OP left room for confusion but it’s all been explained now.

I think you are being a little over sensitive here OP. Having an advert on your feed is not evidence of infidelity and looking at an advert is not evidence of perviness.

LizzieMacQueen · 26/06/2019 08:17

I'm with @thesunisoutatlast

I'd think there's a hidden code going on there.

(I too would be a little bit upset OP)

grumiosmum · 26/06/2019 08:17

Yes modelling quite a few actually .... I had a nose.

So OP it's OK for you to 'have a nose' but not your DH? Just because he is a bloke.

Really, nothing to get het up about.

Dickybow321 · 26/06/2019 08:18

MonstranceClock believe what you like, honestly until OP clarified I was in the middle of a reply saying she needs to call the police and report her husband to the website.

You were going to tell OP to report her husband to the police because he clicked on a picture of a child in a swimming costume
Also, you can't see OP's update while you're in the middle of writing a reply, so pull the other one.

Dickybow321 · 26/06/2019 08:21

And last week I peered out of the upstairs window at next door’s gardener for a good ten minutes.
That's creepy to be fair

queenMab99 · 26/06/2019 08:23

I look at all sorts of things on Facebook market place, sometimes just because I am not sure what is being sold from the photo, then I hurriedly click off it again when it turns out to be something embarrassing, that I would never want !!
Luckily there is no one interested enough to trawl through and see what I have looked at

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 26/06/2019 08:26

I also thought it was a 9 year old child in a swimming costume and was going to tell you you had much bigger things to worry about.

I’d give him the benefit of the doubt on this one; Shpock is like Wish and links you to the most random crap on your FB newsfeed.

Faultymain5 · 26/06/2019 08:27

MN is so funny. I never read it as a girl either, so join me up to Mensa please.

OP be grateful Holby City doesn't have a maternity ward any more, every week there was some kind of traumatic situation with a mother or baby or both. I watched it every week without fail, heavily pregnant and crying every week. It really is the hormones, try to apologise and move on, then hide this thread for it's very ridiculous replies.

savethecake · 26/06/2019 08:27

If it was a nine year old girl it would have said Emma aged 9, not Emma 9. I didn't think for one minute it was about a child.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 26/06/2019 08:30

save, yes the internet is well known for its excellent grammar and spelling.

Helendee · 26/06/2019 08:35

I didn’t think for a second that Emma 9 was a child, it’s obvious to me that’s her user name.
OP I don’t blame you feeling as you do, it’s natural and but unfortunately it’s also completely natural for men to look at attractive women/men; I think it’s hard-wired into them!!!

Fallofrain · 26/06/2019 08:37

Just to say spock gives me random notifications, ive now deleted it but used to have a giggle at the random things that it pop up with. Mine was mostly around hunting equipment or just general tat

At the time i assumed that at somepoint id either looked at another item that person was selling (eg i looked at a table they were selling last year and now it notifies me about other things?) or that they lived especially close to me. It didnt appear consistent as i would get notifications for every item but just some.

I wasnt sure at the time if by clicking the odd items, i was giving it more reason to think that i was interested in them.

Mystery!

Smellbowpenisbeaker · 26/06/2019 08:58

He clicked on a picture that came up in his feed because it’s all local and he was more or less honest about it. It’s not great but it’s certainly not extraordinary.

Faultymain5 · 26/06/2019 09:10

@Helendee
it’s also completely natural for men to look at attractive women/men; I think it’s hard-wired into them!!!

Can I just correct you here. It is natural for humans to look at attractive humans. I'm not unnatural because I like to look at attractive men. It's not just men.

ShatnersWig · 26/06/2019 09:16

So if there was an Emma9 user name on here, some of you would assume it must be a 9-year old girl?

Please.

hahaboink · 26/06/2019 09:20

The big question is Who sells a second hand swimming costume by posting a picture of themselves wearing the swimming costume??? Bit odd that. Surely you’d just post a picture of the costume.

edgeofheaven · 26/06/2019 09:25

So if there was an Emma9 user name on here, some of you would assume it must be a 9-year old girl?

I notice you don’t have a space here while OP does.

A girl Emma 9 vs a girl Emma9

Big difference.

Belenus · 26/06/2019 09:35

Didn't think 9 year olds could have accounts on shpock and be selling their old clothes tbh.

Likewise OP. Whilst I use "woman" for anyone female over the age of 18 I am aware that many people don't stick to this. I assumed you meant a young woman with the username "Emma9" and had inadvertently put a space in. I don't use shpock but there are ads for it all over the place so it's not unusual to be aware that it's a selling sight. And it's only on MN that people put ages after names so I wouldn't have thought Emma needed an age clarifier.

Anyway. I suspect he was browsing for stuff and saw a photo of an attractive young woman in a swimsuit and clicked on it. He wasn't ogling her in front of you and had no reason to suppose you'd find out so I don't see it as insensitive. I find John Snow very attractive and whilst I don't declare this to my bf, I do look at photos of him sometimes. Still fancy the pants off the bf, just happen to notice other men as well.

Helendee · 26/06/2019 09:37

Faultymain5

Yes sorry you’re correct. I should have said men and women.

ShatnersWig · 26/06/2019 09:42

edgeofheaven Space or no space, you'd have to be a bit stupid quite honestly.

LuckyLou7 · 26/06/2019 09:48

Eurgh, second hand swimwear? Is it along the lines of worn socks sold on eBay?

RottnestFerry · 26/06/2019 09:50

Men have always been and will continue to be leery pervs who blame it on their genetic makeup.

If they all do it, always have done it and always will do it, then it probably is in their genetic make up.

FraggleRocking · 26/06/2019 09:54

Everyone debating over the age and username when the OP has already apologised for the poor wording.

Sometimes hormones get the best of you and skew perspective. This seems like one of those moments. Best of luck in the rest of your pregnancy.

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