To start this thread about teacher's experiences of OTT parents as there are frequent posts by parents about teachers!

[Mammajay]

I was in my class with a group of students when the door opened and in stepped an angry parent with an Alsatian dog pulling on the lead. The mum was demanding I returned her 12 year old daughter's radio which I had confiscated the day before due to her disturbing the lesson with it. I wanted to tell the mum to p... off but being a professional, I carefully removed it from my desk, returned it to the mother and asked her to ensure it was kept at home in future. That girl dropped out of school later. In the majority of cases, parents need to support teachers who are trying to maintain discipline so that they can teach and students can learn. Other teachers' examples of OTT parents???

I'm not a teacher but I'm a youth leader. We once had a small group of 12 year olds who were accidentally unpleasant to another child, A. It was a residential event and after bedtime they were letting off steam to each other about how annoying A was - they thought A was asleep but she wasn't. A approached the leaders in the morning and said she felt upset and that it was bullying. We had a kind word with the group and they were mortified, apologised to A, everyone moved on.

I thought the 2 emails we had from different mothers after the event really showed how parents deal with things differently.
One email said roughly "my child says there were some issues between them and A, could you tell me a bit more about it so I can discuss it with them properly".
The other said "how dare you accuse my child of bullying, they would never do any such thing and you are clearly picking on my poor child, and you shouldn't have put them with A anyway because nobody likes A".

I always have it in mind when I have any reason to contact my DC's school!

Parent who complained to the HT that I was pregnant because her precious darling's teacher had gone on maternity leave last year. The thing was, she should have been in the partner class, but mother had demanded she was moved to mine because there were "too many council house children" in the other one. It did cross my mind to sidle up to her with my diary and say "My husband and I are planning k having sex, do you approve of this date?"

@Maldives2006 I taught in a specialist school for children with ASD conditions for years. My brother has ADHD and my cousin has ASD. I am well aware of the incidence of children ‘masking’ at school and ‘releasing’ at home.

There was not only zero evidence to support this woman’s claims, there was significant evidence (including accounts from concerned family members) to the contrary.

As a DSL, we also have to take very seriously the rise in cases of MBPS due to the plethora of medical information now available online.

Thank you for this thread OP. Very cathartic to read and hopefully might make a positive difference to any parents reading this who automatically side with a parent’s post on here.

I’ve had some pretty bad ones including no acknowledgement from being hit by pupils etc but the one that sticks in my mind is the one that could have lost me my job. Parents take note about unfounded allegations and the harm they might cause.

I had just started a long term supply job after moving house and was teaching year 11s their GCSE ICT (as it was back then). Teachers will know that there is software that can track what pupils do in computer rooms, take screen shots of their screens and so on. I had one boy who refused to do any work that I had set. He would play games through a proxy, mess around with videos etc. I took screen shots and timings as he didn’t stop after warnings or sanctions.
I emailed home with the evidence and next thing I know, SLT want me to write a statement as ‘mum is coming in to complain’. (She did this a lot apparently)

In the first meeting, I was shouted at (very high pitched) about how dare I pick on her son-she works in NICU don’t you know which is a much more important job than mine. Her son denied everything and said I was lying ‘ask my friends if you don’t believe me’.
So SLT got three of his friends to also write statements. I was terrified as I was sure his friends would back him up. I was in danger of having my contract terminated.
Thankfully, each of his friends wrote that this boy was doing exactly what I had been saying in lessons, I was completely fair in how I dealt with it in the lessons and so on. I actually cried when I read them afterwards.

Bloody mother couldn’t even have the grace to apologise to me. Had the nerve at the next Parents Evening to say ‘don’t let it drag out so long next time’. I watch open mouthed as she walked away. She nearly lost me my job the cow!!! Makes me wish I had let her son fanny about on the computer and get a crap grade for his GCSE.

And I too agree about the harm social media is doing. Not a day goes by with some parent ranting about a local school on the community Facebook pages. So often something pops up to refute their claims, like a video proving a kid was involved in a fight so banning from ‘prom’ is fair enough!
However the amount of people that pile on to fuel this person’s vitriol is damaging and unfair to the current pupils (as some of them are ex pupils with a grudge etc)

There are ways to deal with things and social media and Mumsnet are not those ways!

The one that always springs to mind despite not happening in my class, is a group of parents showing up before the kids were due to leave on a school trip and demanding to breathalyse the coach driver.

Ahh. The believing of the children's tales....

Child A - known to regularly lie.
Child B - That Parent

B had just been announced as the 'Star of the Week'.
A told A's mum that I'd told the class that it was only because it was their turn & I wished I didn't have to.
A's mum immediately tells B's mum.
B's mum fires off ranting complaint to Head AND rants on Facebook.

Head quickly finds that there are 30 little witness who all back up my version of events.

Neither parent ever apologised. FB post stayed up despite Head asking her to take it down.

Ref the dog situation. I have done work in a local private school. I’m not a teacher but provide a service. I think I could easily get in without any checks what’s so ever. I’ve often thought the security there was awful.
I’ve walk in and out several tunes and no one bats an eye lid. And they don’t know me as staff as I only go in once a year

@nomushrooms

Where is your evidence regarding the increase in MBSP.

The use of Dr google is an issue but it also can provide a focus for parents concerns.

Also the parent is still the expert for their child and teachers should be looking to work in partnership which doesn’t happen is lot of cases that I know off .

Over heard whilst attending a course in another school. Parent was shouting at a member of office staff and SLT as it wasn't his sons fault for stealing from the office but theirs for not locking the door.

There is a little boy in my DDs class every morning for 7 years his DM stops the Teacher, she is batshit.
This may be outing but who cares, the Dublin team arrived at the school said little boy brought his Jersey, the players signed it, the DM caused uproar forced the school to buy a new one and sold the signed one.

Also the parent is still the expert for their child

Not always sadly.

You are spectacularly missing the point of this thread though. Or proving its point I suppose.

I'd asked her 17 year old daughter to go home and change for being dressed as a stripper

You come across as a bully, comparing a pupil's dress sense to that of a stripper.
I hope your subject is not Philosophy & Ethics!

The parent who still loudly calls for my sacking whenever she spots me in the supermarket as I had her daughter unfairly excluded. I don’t teach
Anymore, haven’t for 4’years but he mother hasn’t let it go yet.

Mother is justified in her behaviour because her daughter didn’t mean to pick up the chair or walk across my classroom with the chair or repeatedly hit me with the chair. Nor did she mean to give me a head wound that resulted in stitches and concussion.

She was pulled off me by her classmates.

My crime? Giving her options about her mobile. I.e. if it goes in your bag now and stays there for the remainder of the lesson, it’s not an issue; if it’s out it will have to go to the office and you’ll not be able to get it back until someone from home comes for it. Child lived one street away, Mum worked
at the nursery next door.

And like an idiot I didn’t take it further with the Police as the head told me I’d make my life much more difficult. No, you mean you’ll make my life more difficult.

Not a teacher but have heard and seen the way some parents go on about the teachers at our school, usually the parents whose kids are a pain outside of school as well. I personally think that OTT parents are way more prevalent now than when I was at school in the 90s/00s. I wouldn’t have went home and told my parents I had gotten in to trouble as I would have got another telling off for not behaving at school or if my
Mobile was confiscated at the secondary, tough it would be left till the next day or whatever.

I totally back the school up with my kids, if they have been told off it will be for a reason and I don’t get involved unless the teacher comes to me to get me involved their jobs are hard enough

I always double check before approaching the school. Long experience here as I am on my second family being a grandparent carer and nothing is worse than being presented with "alternative" evidence to that which has been relayed to you by gs.

But and a big one here, gs1 was recently subjected to an "informal" exclusion. A fire alarm was set off during exams and he was "part of the group of boys" involved. CCTV had not been checked - the school were rightly furious.

The following day when it was, it showed gs emerging from a door after the alarm had been set off. To avoid their own embarassment and rather than apologise, school told me he "may" have had prior knowledge. How would they know this? Any way, he was immediately reinstated and nearest I got to an apology was that they sympathised with how upset I was.

It works both ways. All of us need to double check and believe me I have been caught on the wrong side too.

@MsRabbitRocks have you ever been accused of exaggerating your child’s needs, of not being interested in your child’s education, of lying and of being crazy. This is by a practicing teacher.

I’ve also had a practicing teacher tell me that parents cause adhd symptoms along with a lack of exercise🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

I’m not saying there are stupid parents but if you’ve noticed there is currently a massive SEND problem in this country of children being off rolled, SEND children being left with no education. SEND parents having to fight tooth and nail to get what their children need.

When a profession is not allowed to receive critical feedback or are unwilling to believe or listen to parents. Then it’s not just parents who are causing the problem.

Loving this!
I had told year 11 girls to stop talking and get on with their work frequently, it was the morning of the Friends final episode and they wouldn't shut up about it, even the rest of the class were fed up, exam looming. Eventually I went up to them and gave them a five minute synopsis of the programme that I'd read on an American website. One parent complained to the Head that her sweetpea was devastated and traumatised.
After mock exams I used to return their marked papers and give them a couple of days to look over theirs before going over them. A mother was at Reception demanding to see me, she said she wanted to go through cherub's paper in detail, she had corrected my marking errors and adjusted her dear' s marks, by about 15%. She had the papers of four others that she used to find my errors! Once I picked up my jaw I removed all the scripts and walked away without a word.

Once at the end of a very long parents evening, I had a discussion with a parent about their 'DC'....I mentioned that if more home learning was completed and he turned up on time it would help him succeed further. That launched a lengthy tirade from the mother about how it was the teachers job to teach and home leaning was pointless and teachers should do more etc etc....at the end of the tirade she said..and how dare you tell me how to parent...I replied' Why not, you've spent the last 5 minutes telling me how to teach'

Please stop hijacking the thread Maldives2006. Not because you don't have valid points but that this is not what the thread is about - teachers just want one 'safe' thread that they can contribute to. This is not the thread to have your rant. Please feel free to start your own thread.

There were sniffy comments the last time I mentioned this, but heigh ho: at my final school, the end of the school year was brightened by the competition for the COTY cup (Complaint Of The Year), with the details of the finalists being given to the staffroom. Sometimes grim humour gets you through; "Oh you have an unfair advantage! You've got (the "That Parent-in-Chief") in your form!"
Just a couple; selective school, streamed for Maths, one bright lazy lad who had come to rely on innate intelligence came unstuck as the pace picked up, and got demoted from "A" set to "B" set, on the clear understanding that all he had to do to move back up was to apply himself a bit more (true). The Maths checkup test was, apparently, racist. I do appreciate that some subjects such as English and History can be slanted, but Maths?
One from another school. Parents Evening arranged, in the days when a letter went home with a slip to be filled in for appointment preferences. Time passed, preferred times all bagged, then on the day before the actual Parents' Evening, a long screed from an indignant mother who had only just got wind of it. She took a deep interest in her daughter's education, the lack of notice gave her no chance to attend, the school really ought to communicate better, etc, written on the back of the first convenient sheet of paper to come to hand, you've guessed it, it was the back of the(dated) letter her daughter had obediently taken home, giving notice of the upcoming Parents' Evening, also in the school calendar at the front of all homework diaries.......I believe that one got framed and displayed in the Staffroom.
I have been berated because a boy was upset about not being able to obtain the regulation swimming costume (independent school). The PE staff were aware of the problem, suppliers had let them down, told the boys not to worry, it wasn't their fault, just wear your own cossie, it's the swimming which matters and if you're picked for a team, we'll find something in Lost Property. But "He gets upset". I did not work for this large retailing chain, indeed I wasn't even his form teacher, but saw him twice a week for Music.
And then, at the end of term, you get the lovely messages from the parents who really appreciate what you are trying to do, and have the wit to realise that sometimes, just sometimes, what mummy gets is the edited highlights......

Teachers do have it hard I agree and have seen this with my own eyes, but I do think that a lot of other jobs do as well - friends daughter has a job in a call centre and is abused on the phone on a daily basis. she has only been there a while and wants another job already.
anyone in the front line of the NHS or social services, retail, banks, hospitality, public transport, they will all have tales to tell of abuse, bad mouthing and terrible behaviour. makes me sad that we cant respect anyone anymore, regardless if they are the professional or the one that is cleaning up after everyone else. seeing the other person's point of view is lacking with so many people they just cant do it, its their way or the highway. makes me so sad that society has gone this way - all me me me!!
ginfanatic, good answer there! trouble is, some parents are not aware that their children are not always 100 percent perfect., nobody is of course.,
here in lies a very big problem (in my opinion.)
where did it all go wrong i wonder sometimes ( and i;m certainly not perfect myself, but i can see the other point of view on matters)

The80sweregreat the difference being that of I took a job at a call centre cold calling people all day I would expect some verbal abuse on the phone. When I took a job trying to educate children because 8 love my subject and I believe education is important I didn't expect the abuse I get from parents.

Of course plenty of jobs are just as hard or harder than teaching but this is not what teachers signed up for.

When a parent emailed me on Sunday night about HW that was due Monday morning and I did not contact them until Monday at 11am they complained to the Head that I had not responded.

A Dad at parents eve so drunk he fell off his chair saying I wasn't a good teacher.

Another mother who thought her Bunsen burners were too dangerous for her (non SEN) son then complained because ei allowed him to use a kettle instead. Apparently 12 year old boys do not know how to use a kettle safely.