To start this thread about teacher's experiences of OTT parents as there are frequent posts by parents about teachers!

[Mammajay]

I was in my class with a group of students when the door opened and in stepped an angry parent with an Alsatian dog pulling on the lead. The mum was demanding I returned her 12 year old daughter's radio which I had confiscated the day before due to her disturbing the lesson with it. I wanted to tell the mum to p... off but being a professional, I carefully removed it from my desk, returned it to the mother and asked her to ensure it was kept at home in future. That girl dropped out of school later. In the majority of cases, parents need to support teachers who are trying to maintain discipline so that they can teach and students can learn. Other teachers' examples of OTT parents???

I take my hat off to teachers. I really don't know how you stick it these days, as many of the posts on this thread are hair-raising.

I am very supportive of schools. It seems like an impossible job these days. In 19 years I have had 3 DDs go through school. In all of my dealings with their schools I was polite and civil.

In all of those years I never had any problems with a single teacher, all were helpful if I wanted to ask or clarify anything.

I did have an issue with one member of admin staff at secondary school, who took it upon herself to go around the school in morning registration time with a tape measure recording the length of girls' legs against their skirts (including my DD), then loudly talking about those vital statistics in front of the whole form. The form tutors had also questioned what was happening and had themselves reported to the headmaster though. He immediately put a stop to it and then phoned to apologise to all parents who had emailed to question it.

Too many parents take their children's words as gospel. It always pays to check the other side first, if there even is one. Children often do embellish things, some even making them up entirely. Chances are that little darling is not as entirely innocent as they are trying to make out to mum and dad.

There is never any excuse for threatening behaviour, verbal or physical. Support the school. Then if you really do have an issue they are much more likely to be helpful.

My parents were teachers. They are in their eighties now and long retired. I don't doubt that they could add many stories to this thread but they don't do computers or internet.

I salute teachers, my eldest is starting his PCGE this year.

Last year when my youngest left school I sent an email into the head & head of year who my DD adored, thanking them for their support of her learning and for everything they had done for her. The head replied to me saying it was so nice as she had never had any parent thank her before. The HOY rang me in tears thanking me for my kind words. I was gobsmacked to be honest, it was the very least I could do and thought that more people would do the same. DD is hoping to become an secondary english teacher & her HOY insisted on giving my DD her email, if there was anything thing she could do in the future.

So teachers, some of us parents think you are bloody great and thank you.

All of mine are from time teaching in a private school
Father turning up after the end of parents evening and following me into the staff room shouting "I always get what I want."
Mother made an official complaint as I had spent a whole lesson reading a ( set text ) novel.
Parents turning up an hour after a trip return at midnight and complaining we had not brought student to their door.
Had exercise books for a week to mark, complaint about that.
Pupil missed half a term was given catch up work complaint that it had been handed in on a Friday but not given back on the Monday.
I could go on.....

@MyHeadIsBursting
Interesting you say that. I always assumed parents of children in deprived areas were generally) more grateful than those in affluent areas.

Social media plays its inimitable helpful role. A disgruntled parent put on an open fb group that at my child's school all the children with additional needs are locked in cupboards.

On a positive note, this is my favourite ever teacher/parent story (not mine. I read it somewhere).

Kid pisses herself at school. Gets sent home in the school pants. Pants are duly washed and put in car to take into school. Kid keeps forgetting. Kid sees teacher in supermarket and shouts out 'Don't worry, Miss X! My dad's still got your knickers in the back of his car!'.

It's a classic

So many stories but I won't tell them other than my first year as an NQT a parent plonked themselves down at my first parents evening and started blaming me for the amount of washing they had to do! The majority of parents (and of course pupils) are absolutely lovely though and I really do enjoy parents evenings. It's often the same ones year after year who you know cause a fuss about everything. You also dread seeing/hearing that they have another child who you will have to teach in a few years even though it's not the child's fault and they are probably lovely!
The office staff oten get the brunt too, by the time I call back a parent is often calmer and really nice on the phone where earlier they have been swearing at and threatening the office staff!
I see the same situation at my daughter's school, the staff are kind, caring and bend over backwards to do so much for the pupils but a minority of parents whinge and complain incessantly about minor non issues, thus leaving the teachers less time to plan, mark, prepare and sort genuine problems that arise.

So many terrible parents blaming teachers for their bad parenting! I've witnessed so much bullying and abuse towards my fellow teachers over the years. I left the profession and never looked back. People always say teaching is rewarding, but the negatives vastly outweigh the positives.

There's definitely a 'type' IME. I remember being at school and there were a few mums who were forever 'coming up the school' to 'give someone a piece of their mind'.

Generally their kids were the PITAs. Not surprising really.

I left teaching after 3 years so was fortunate enough to not have many bad encounters with parents. The ones that stick in my mind tho...

I gave a year 7 pupil a lunchtime detention for throwing numerous pencils across the room. I had a call from reception to say that mum had requested a call back within 10 minutes of my lesson with said pupil finishing. Luckily for mum I had PPA so called back straight away, to be told that her child would not be doing lunchtime detention because it was MY fault for not ‘having the sense’ to just take away all the pencils from bed child when I pointed out that they were needed for the work, she scoffed and said that maybe in future I should rethink the tasks I set in my lessons if I can’t cope with a bit of messing around!

Year 9 history class had been set an end of topic assessment. One pupil who was generally well behaved in class, handed in an essay that had been copied word for word from an internet site. I didn’t mark it, asked the pupil to stay behind at the end of the lesson, and explained that I would give him until the next lesson (the following week) to redo it, before submitting a mark for him. Come next lesson, he still hadn’t redone, so I offered him another week of lunchtime sessions to complete - didn’t turn up for any, so I gave him 0 for the assessment. Soon after, parents phoned his head of year to complain about me ruining his love of history by knocking his confidence. Come parents evening, they sat in front of me and berated me for the same thing, and insisted that it was an excellent essay that ‘johnny’ has spent hours doing under their supervision. When I produced the essay and the internet page side by side to prove that it had been copied, dad got aggressive and shouted that history is just copying other people’s work anyway and if I didn’t know that then how the fuck could I be a competent history teacher

I think people's own experiences of school can have an effect way into adulthood. I see parents who are very uncomfortable with the teacher/parent relationship and feel threatened. Some are very young. Inevitably any altercation feels like they're being told off again.

I'm not excusing arseholes but sometimes it's complicated. Some people don't feel comfortable with any authority figure because their own childhoods were shit.

I think people's own experiences of school can have an effect way into adulthood. I see parents who are very uncomfortable with the teacher/parent relationship and feel threatened. Some are very young. Inevitably any altercation feels like they're being told off again.

I'm not excusing arseholes but sometimes it's complicated. Some people don't feel comfortable with any authority figure because their own childhoods were shit.

You are absolutely right about parents projecting their own experiences at school on to dealing with teachers on behalf of their children. And indeed passing on attitudes to their children. Teachers have to try and break that chain and it's very difficult.

I remember a parent moaning on social media about teachers going on strike. Said they should do it in the summer holidays. I think she struggled with the concept of industrial action

My DH went to the local high school for an orientation day, where his brother and sister AB and BB, had gone. For some reason, a teacher asked him, his name, and he said CB.
"B? Are you related to AB and BB? Yes, they're my brother and sister."

"Oh My God," says the teacher, "there's another one. Nobody told me there was another one." Yells out to another teacher 'THERE'S ANOTHER B!'

My FIL (who is British) was apparently well known for not being backwards in coming forwards to give teachers and faculty 'a piece of his mind'. . .

It's not just teachers those sorts of parents go off at.

I was working at a small hotel and was physically threatened, insulted and shouted at because I raised an issue with the parents for letting their kids smash up furniture and an intercom.

Apparently I should be a prison warden not working in hospitality.

Year 11 were told in September about their Leavers' Party and the rules for being allowed to attend, clean slate but so many infractions and you're banned. Come May one boy was told he couldn't attend and his mother went ballistic but the school stood firm. On the evening there was a coach to the hotel and he turned up with mother, she lay down on the road in front of the coach to stop it leaving! The entire coach, staff and pupils were egging on the driver to run over her.

On the evening there was a coach to the hotel and he turned up with mother, she lay down on the road in front of the coach to stop it leaving! The entire coach, staff and pupils were egging on the driver to run over her.

I can’t stop laughing.

Glad I've brightened your afternoon! The upshot was that the driver reversed and drove round her, she didn't realise as her head was turned away, the driver did manage to emit a lot of exhaust fumes.

God, how utterly embarrassing for that lad! 😂

@TooManyPaws Dunblane, not Dunkeld, thanks.

@JamdaniSari
That is what I’m saying, it’s the parents in the more affluent area that are always complaining!

The head replied to me saying it was so nice as she had never had any parent thank her before.

It's not just parents who don't acknowledge the efforts made by schools. A couple of years ago we went into town, an hour or so, on the 3.30 bus. The next day I rang the school late afternoon and asked if I could leave a message for the Head, it transpired that I was speaking to the Head and I said that I had been on the 3. 30 bus, I got no further, Oh hell, what have they done now????? I then said how well behaved they'd been, I could hear his jaw drop, No-one's ever called to say that, it's usually that they've been loud.
Maybe if we made a point of acknowledging good behaviour there would be less to demoralise teachers.
I know that there are genuine problems but realising that teachers are human beings, many have exactly the same problems as the parents and they may do/say something on the spur of the moment relationships between home and school would be far better.
Do 'those' mothers tell other professionals, doctors, dentists etc., how to do their jobs?

Do 'those' mothers tell other professionals, doctors, dentists etc., how to do their jobs?

I'm gonna guess yes.

My worse patent is some years ago. Wife of the Chair of Governors. She just didn't like me. Almost every morning her daughter would turn up with a typed letter in an envelope of the most recent thing I'd done that she didn't agree with. Things like pairing her daughter up with a Polish boy and disagreeing when I told her it's a life skill to be able to work alongside people you don't get on with. "No it's not, you don't have to work with people you don't like," was the response. I found the irony laughable...

Anyway, at the end of the year a letter was given to the Deputy Head stating that her daughter's progress was nothing to do with me as "the teaching she has received this year has been poor" (exact quote). Never mind the fact this woman never stepped foot in my room when I was teaching so had never seen me do so and just two years previously I'd been graded Outstanding by Ofsted.

Fortunately I was leaving that school that year. On looking round a prospective other school I bumped into this woman as she was a TA or something there. No way in hell I was applying there, then!

She's probably forgotten all about the things she said and did to me but I haven't, hence I can still quote her letter verbatim even after nearly a decade. She was definitely the worst I've come across for behaviour towards a teacher. I cried regularly and suffered panic attacks because of her, every morning wondering what the latest letter was going to say.

Looking back I guess I was being bullied. But I was young and hadn't learnt to stand my ground with parents yet. If I ever met her again I would tell her exactly how her actions had affected me!

My OH and I both had experience of meh teachers, but hey that is life. We told our DC`s that they just had to get on with it. They all swerved to taking subjects at GCSE and A level with teachers they felt did care. Wherever you go in life we told them you will find people over promoted who will seem over bearing, unfair, lazy. Why should school be any different.

They have had some exceptional teachers who worked hard to ensure they fulfilled their potential. And I did write a thank you letter to the HT and staff to tell them how grateful we were for this.