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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give up my seat?

308 replies

bottomfellout · 24/06/2019 11:43

Currently in the middle of a 5 hour train journey with my 7yo. We got on at the first station and will be getting off 3 stops before final station. We are sat in our reserved seats, confirmation on the little display above our heads saying reserved from our starting and finishing stations.

At the last station 20 minutes ago a man got on and said ‘you’re in my seat’ and started to move my bags. I told him I wasn’t, grabbed my bag, showed him my ticket and the seat display. He showed me his ticket and he’s also reserved for the same seat. I told him he should go and find the guard, that there are plenty of free seats (although don’t know if they’re reserved).

He won’t go and find the guard, he wants his seat. He’s now standing right next to me (probably watching me type), having just had a loud phone call (which I’m pretty sure was imaginary as we went through a tunnel) about how he can’t prepare for the presentation as a stuck up bitch won’t move out of his seat. He’s huffing and sighing and I’m wondering whether he’ll stay standing over me for the next 2.5 hours.

I don’t want ds to hear this bloke being a prick but I really don’t see why I should move. Ds is currently plugged into his iPad so hasn’t noticed.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 24/06/2019 13:50

OP he looked at his ticket-that's why he's gone! Enjoy your journeyCakeBrewFlowers

bigKiteFlying · 24/06/2019 13:51

If your both in right carriage - and I’ve seen so many arguments were people weren't - is he on the right train?

We had an aggressive woman with her child - we showed reservations ect - there were five of us on three reserved seats - two toddlers on laps she wouldn't have it.

Guard did come along turns out her train was a prior one and had been cancelled and announced as such so obviously her seat reservations wouldn't be there on this train - she wouldn't grasp this and spent over an hour till we got off staring and muttering at us till we reached our station .

HappyHammy · 24/06/2019 13:51

Has he moved now

Sonicknuckles · 24/06/2019 13:53

🤭

prettybird · 24/06/2019 13:56

If the guard had come along and the prat had still tried to be aggressive and bullying, then the guard would indeed have given an upgrade (provided there were spare seats in 1st class)...... to the OP and her ds Grin

Iwantacookie · 24/06/2019 14:02

What an arse nobber.
Although I would love to see a grown man having a tantrum and sitting on the floor because he can't get a certain seat.

Nemesia1264 · 24/06/2019 14:02

I've been on a Virgin Liverpool to London Euston train where 3 lots of people all had 'correct' reservations for the same 2 seats. There definitely can be a glitch. Incidentally they'd all booked through Trainline.

bobsyourauntie · 24/06/2019 14:07

I went to London and back last week and both times I politely had to ask people to move from my reserved seats. The first lot claimed that they were just using the table to eat their lunch, the second lot said that they never used trains and had no idea where to sit.

This guy is being a total knob and I hope that he has the wrong ticket or train. It is very annoying when somebody is sat in your seat but there is no need to be aggressive over it.

YANBU to not move, he clearly wouldn't have moved if he had got there first.

IsabellaLinton · 24/06/2019 14:09

Although I would love to see a grown man having a tantrum and sitting on the floor because he can't get a certain seat.

I wouldn’t be able to bear it! I’d be so excruciatingly embarrassed to see it...

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 24/06/2019 14:10

OP - you can text the British Transport Police on 61016. Here's a link to their service.

www.btp.police.uk/about_us/our_campaigns/61016_text_service.aspx

He's a nasty, abusive, misogynistic creep who thinks that if a double-booking has occurred then the little woman should get out of his way. He has already tried to intimidate you by moving your bags, and referring to you loudly as a 'bitch'. Now he's standing over you in an attempt to cause intimidation?

  1. Text the BTP. Ensure you tell them every incident and that you have a child with you.
  1. Inform the train crew of exactly what has happened next time they pass through.
  1. Don't move.

Men like this make me incandescent with rage. Who does the jumped up little tosser think he is? Intimidating mums with children: how brave. Someone needs to put this oik very forcefully in his place.

Siameasy · 24/06/2019 14:18

Love that a dog walked over him!
I wouldn’t call the police over this though. You’ve stood your ground and it sounds like he’s shuffled off. Good work!

orangesandlemon · 24/06/2019 14:19

We sat in reserved seats as our train was cancelled. Anyway an hour in to the journey this man comes up to me and just keeps repeating the seat number to me. '25, seat 25, look 25' he refused to make eye contact and was so rude. I just said oh I'm in your seat okay I shall move. He just repeated "25" seat 25. And looked at the seat number.

Very happy to move, but it would have been nice to be asked! Anyway, totally irrelevant but just sharing stories of how strange people can be.

JingsMahBucket · 24/06/2019 14:19

@Nemesia1264
I've been on a Virgin Liverpool to London Euston train where 3 lots of people all had 'correct' reservations for the same 2 seats. There definitely can be a glitch. Incidentally they'd all booked through Trainline.

Something similar happened last week when we were traveling from Edinburgh to London St. Pancras as well. We were fine but OH overheard others talking about mixed up seats. We heard an announcement that not all the seat reservations data downloaded in Edinburgh at the beginning of the journey so there was conflicting information. Passengers just had to work it out amongst themselves. We were fine but had bought our tickets on Trainline. I wonder about the others though.

So yes, glitches do happen from time to time due to data/software downloads for the train. This has happened before on a different line I was on that was going between London and SW Scotland. Maybe it's a Virgin train issue?

ShimmeringWaffle · 24/06/2019 14:32

Has it happen to me a while back. Turned out they'd booked the exact same seat in the same carriage, only for the previous week. :S

Merename · 24/06/2019 14:50

I think I’d find this really intimidating. Well handled OP.

TurquoiseDress · 24/06/2019 14:55

I had this happen the opposite way on a Virgin train out of London, with DH and toddler.

Man was sat in my reserved seat (DH hadn't been organised enough to sort out a seat reservation for his

The bloke basically told me tough shit and put his ear plugs in and started working on his laptop.

It was a packed train out of London on a Friday early evening

We just waited several stops until seats became free

This thread has just reminded me that I never took the issue up with Virgin trains!

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 24/06/2019 14:56

On just Saturday night on a train from London, I was asked by a couple to move from my reserved seat so they could sit together. I refused; not least because it was obviously assumed I would acquiesce, capitulate, gather up all my work and belongings and meekly move to accommodate them. And the huffing, tutting and muttering caused by my refusal was enough to cause minor breezes in the coach.

What I'd seen beforehand, and they hadn't, was that a gaggle of people in front of me had been moving all the ticketing for reserved seating as they were too gormless to figure out who was sitting where.

Like hell was I going to find myself sitting in an entrance vestibule because other people are stupid!

CatelynStark · 24/06/2019 15:00

Never, ever use the Trainline.com if you want to reserve a seat. Last year, on four separate journeys, they resold my group of seats and we had to find somewhere else to sit as they’d already been taken. Absolute piss takers!!

CoraPirbright · 24/06/2019 15:02

As the rude horrible man has now bogged off to first class, I would be hunting down the damn guard and letting him know all about it!

He called you a “stuck up bitch”??? Shock. He could do with being booted off the train entirely just for that, let alone being an utter twat who wouldnt just sit in one of the other free seats!

solargain · 24/06/2019 15:04

Ugh. Silly git.

Mix56 · 24/06/2019 15:11

He sat on the floor in his suit, rather than another vacant seat. Clearly not from this planet.

ShatnersWig · 24/06/2019 15:17

Computerisation means this can’t happen

PeonyPink0 Actually the correct phrase is "Computerisation means this SHOULDN'T happen" because it occasionally still does. Was at a theatre few weeks ago. Collected my ticket at the box office, sat in my seat. Five minutes before start another chap turns up and says, in a nice way, "Oi, Shatner, what you doing in my seat?" as it turned out to be someone I know. We looked at each other's tickets.

Right date. Right time. Right theatre. Right show. Same seat. So we trot off to find front of house staff. Who calls the duty manager. Who takes a print out of the seating plan as at that point to see where she can move one of us to (hopefully in the same price band, or one of us will want some money back). She turns up with the print out which shows that the seat we BOTH have a printed ticket for is shown as UNSOLD.

Which is physically impossible according to computerisation and the fact that we both have tickets for that seat.

needsomesleepy · 24/06/2019 15:22

I once had some old dear telling me I was in her seat. I checked her ticket for her. My seat was 65 and hers was 05 Grin I took her, her suitcase and her shopping back down to the other end of the carriage and got her settled. She was still mad about it though, not a clue what she thought I had done wrong Grin

JacquesHammer · 24/06/2019 15:24

I had a run in with a VAIR important woman with laptop Grin

I've told this before, but I was sitting at a table on a train, mine was reserved, the other three weren't reserved.

Woman got on followed by two cronies and said "do you mind?" - to which I replied "of course not".

Turns out "do you mind" was followed up by "moving, we need to have a confidential meeting".

She actually wanted me to move out of my reserved seat so she and her colleagues could have a Confidential Meeting.

I laughed.

MulticolourMophead · 24/06/2019 15:26

OP he looked at his ticket-that's why he's gone! Enjoy your journey

I bet that's it. 😁

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