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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give up my seat?

308 replies

bottomfellout · 24/06/2019 11:43

Currently in the middle of a 5 hour train journey with my 7yo. We got on at the first station and will be getting off 3 stops before final station. We are sat in our reserved seats, confirmation on the little display above our heads saying reserved from our starting and finishing stations.

At the last station 20 minutes ago a man got on and said ‘you’re in my seat’ and started to move my bags. I told him I wasn’t, grabbed my bag, showed him my ticket and the seat display. He showed me his ticket and he’s also reserved for the same seat. I told him he should go and find the guard, that there are plenty of free seats (although don’t know if they’re reserved).

He won’t go and find the guard, he wants his seat. He’s now standing right next to me (probably watching me type), having just had a loud phone call (which I’m pretty sure was imaginary as we went through a tunnel) about how he can’t prepare for the presentation as a stuck up bitch won’t move out of his seat. He’s huffing and sighing and I’m wondering whether he’ll stay standing over me for the next 2.5 hours.

I don’t want ds to hear this bloke being a prick but I really don’t see why I should move. Ds is currently plugged into his iPad so hasn’t noticed.

OP posts:
Fedupofballs · 25/06/2019 20:39

I travel on the trains quite a bit, and don’t often have issues. The one I really remember is when my reserved seat doing exist (the coach wasn’t there) so I found an unreserved table seat and made myself comfortable. At the next station a group of people got on, three of them sat at the table and some others close by (and proceeded to open Prosecco and beer at 9am). When the guard came round to check the tickets I mentioned to him about my coach not being there (in case anyone else had a similar issue). The guy sat next to me then told me that if I hadn’t reserved the seat I was sat in they had as much right to it as me and I should move so they could have the full table (it was definitely unreserved). He was quite put out when I refused, but luckily I had headphones so just put those on and ‘sat’ my ground.

BanningTheWordNaice · 25/06/2019 20:46

I once had someone tell me I was in his seat. He huffed and puffed when I said it was definitely my seat but there was a free one opposite so he sat there. Imagine my glee when the guard charged him for taking the wrong train :D

CruellaFeinberg · 25/06/2019 20:52

well the Twitter lady is "North East based GFE provider. Message on or "

(whats GFE?)

CruellaFeinberg · 25/06/2019 20:52

why didn't I just google?
"GFE means. girlfriend experience: a sexual encounter with a prostitute where she provides a lot of cuddling, kissing, and more intimate versions of certain acts.. good-faith estimate."

Pickytraveller1964 · 25/06/2019 20:56

Definitely DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR SEAT! What a jerk the guy was! Possession is 9/10ths of the law so the guy is out of luck. One thing you can do when confronted by such bullies is to play the completely-insane-card. Just make the cross sign at him, give him a crazed look and hiss “I reject you Satan in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ”. Trust me, the person on the receiving end invariably decides that you are too nutty to be near and quickly backs away. It’s quite miraculous, as long as you don’t mind a stranger thinking you are nuts, which never bothers me!

TigerTooth · 25/06/2019 21:04

AlexaAmbidextra

We sat in reserved seats as our train was cancelled. Anyway an hour in to the journey this man comes up to me and just keeps repeating the seat number to me. '25, seat 25, look 25' he refused to make eye contact and was so rude. I just said oh I'm in your seat okay I shall move. He just repeated "25" seat 25. And looked at the seat number. Very happy to move, but it would have been nice to be asked! Anyway, totally irrelevant but just sharing stories of how strange people can be.

I think you were ruder for sitting in his seat in the first place.

Oh FFS don’t be such a self righteous Pratt!
Her train was cancelled, she sat in an empty seat, he got on at a later stop and she moved. She was NOT rude!
Was she supposed to stand for 6 stops staring wistfully at an empty seat?

managedmis · 25/06/2019 21:26

Confidential meeting? On a train?!

Winebottle · 25/06/2019 21:29

I'd do away with seat reservations. I can't take the confrontation it causes.

gilly17 · 25/06/2019 21:30

What happened?

Do tell us!!

Iamthewombat · 25/06/2019 21:30

I love confidential meetings (and phone calls) on trains. I’ve heard all about the strategies of two suppliers in contract negotiations with my organisation. Keep up the confidential meetings, idiots!

LadyRannaldini · 25/06/2019 21:41

I’ve heard all about the strategies of two suppliers in contract negotiations with my organisation. Keep up the confidential meetings, idiots!

One young woman once kept the whole upper deck of the bus from Norwich entertained with what she would do to her boyfriend that night, it was fine until a couple of young men joined in and she got very offended.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 25/06/2019 21:42

Had two really aggressive (bit drunk) men insist I was in their seat/s. Long story short, they were in the wrong carriage and had to do the walk of shame down the entire length of the carriage accompanied by slow hand clap from other passengers.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 25/06/2019 21:44

I've had this happen to me before, turns out I was in the right seats on the wrong train Blush

texasgurl · 26/06/2019 00:38

This is so anticlimactic.I'd love to know what happened in the end.

ChocChocButtons · 26/06/2019 06:31

@texasgurl he went and sat in first class.

Isatis · 26/06/2019 08:12

... and he probably tried to get the guard to tell OP off and was told to get lost.

chamenanged · 26/06/2019 08:27

Is there anything to be said for a seventh round of 'was it Jeremy Corbyn?'

Tiredtessy · 26/06/2019 08:35

Seems to happen quite a lot, maybe they over book like plane tickets but no you shouldn’t have moved as he’s just a first class cunt! What an absolute baby!

Original poster
bottomfellout · 26/06/2019 08:42

Sorry for the anti climax. Nothing happened. The last I saw of him was him flouncing off towards first class and telling me he’d be sending the guard to me to pay for his upgrade. Neither him or the guard reappeared so I have to assume he died - slowly and embarrassingly whilst crying ‘this would never have happened if that woman had let me sit in her seat’. Or there was no guard so he just sat in first class for the rest of the journey feeling like a winner.

The good news is that I’m catching the train back again today. Maybe he’ll be on it and we’ll get the same seat again. What fun!

OP posts:
Original poster
bottomfellout · 26/06/2019 08:44

Sorry to disappoint but it wasn’t Jeremy Corbyn. I don’t think Jeremy Corbyn generally commutes from Paignton.

OP posts:
cherrybath · 26/06/2019 10:31

We sometimes have problems when we have a reservation but are tol that the reservation slip machine isn't working so there are no marked reserved seats. Personally I think that if you hold proof of a reservation you should be able to clear somebody out, even without a slip on the seat. However I've seen families with small children standing because people are sitting in their reserved seats in this situation. The guards are often not willing to move people to let them sit down.

DarlingNikita · 26/06/2019 10:39

I have to assume he died - slowly and embarrassingly Grin

curlilox · 26/06/2019 11:46

AmeriAnn In the 70s I got on a train from London to Manchester when I was 7 months pregnant. All the seats were taken and so I had to stand. When the guard came along he gave everyone a lecture until someone was shamed into giving up their seat. So back in the 70s men didn't always freely offer a woman a seat, even when heavily pregnant.

anon812 · 26/06/2019 11:56

@curlilox I generally ask people for a seat (currently pregnant). Some say no but you usually find someone who says yes (mostly women tbh!)

lottiegarbanzo · 26/06/2019 14:07

Oh I strongly disagree with you cherrybath as do the train companies. If they've failed to reserve the seat for you, there is no reservation. They've broken their promise to you. That is all. That has nothing to do with the person who has, in good faith, sat in an unreserved seat.

I hate it when people misunderstand the system like that and try to turf people out of seats that have not been reserved. It creates so much unnecessary tension and unpleasantness.

Usually there's an announcement saying that due to some technical problem, there are no reservations today in coach X. It's crystal clear - that there are no reservations.

The problem comes with people who'd made reservations getting on at the last minute, when there are no seats left, then taking out their frustrations on the poor people who'd got on early, in time to find unreserved seats. Urgh.