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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give up my seat?

308 replies

bottomfellout · 24/06/2019 11:43

Currently in the middle of a 5 hour train journey with my 7yo. We got on at the first station and will be getting off 3 stops before final station. We are sat in our reserved seats, confirmation on the little display above our heads saying reserved from our starting and finishing stations.

At the last station 20 minutes ago a man got on and said ‘you’re in my seat’ and started to move my bags. I told him I wasn’t, grabbed my bag, showed him my ticket and the seat display. He showed me his ticket and he’s also reserved for the same seat. I told him he should go and find the guard, that there are plenty of free seats (although don’t know if they’re reserved).

He won’t go and find the guard, he wants his seat. He’s now standing right next to me (probably watching me type), having just had a loud phone call (which I’m pretty sure was imaginary as we went through a tunnel) about how he can’t prepare for the presentation as a stuck up bitch won’t move out of his seat. He’s huffing and sighing and I’m wondering whether he’ll stay standing over me for the next 2.5 hours.

I don’t want ds to hear this bloke being a prick but I really don’t see why I should move. Ds is currently plugged into his iPad so hasn’t noticed.

OP posts:
Tinkerbell1980 · 25/06/2019 18:24

I got on a train from Manchester to London, put my bag on one seat whilst I sat on the other, my husband was popping our suitcase in the luggage. A man stood over me and said he supposed he didn't mind me sitting in 'his' window seat and started moving my bag. I explained that I'd booked both seats and he argued, waving his ticket under my nose, until my big muscular husband walked over. He moved to a seat opposite and loudly declared to the man next to him that we'd taken his seat - until his ticket was checked. Sure enough, he'd booked my seat, but for a later train, which was cheaper. He was very quiet after having to pay the upgrade fee....

ScreamingValenta · 25/06/2019 18:33

'Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency'

That's brilliant. I shall definitely start using it.

XXcstatic · 25/06/2019 18:36

old dear complaining to the sons about wanting to sit there

Nice bit of ageism there Hmm.

Yabbers · 25/06/2019 18:41

He’s currently sitting on the floor (despite several free seats in the carriage), sighing dramatically and glaring at me.

Why would he sit on the floor if there were free seats?

people are offering him their seat

Why are people offering him their seat A) if there are free seats and B) when people refuse to offer seats to pregnant women, elderly people or people with mobility issues? Just who exactly offers a 50 year old arse of a businessman their seat?

SimonJT · 25/06/2019 18:47

People can be arses, my son and I took a train to Manchester a while ago and someone was sat in one of our reserved seats and had her handbag in the other seat.

The train was really busy so I asked if she could move her bag, that way my son could sit on my lap and none of us would have to stand. She refused as she didn’t want to put her bag on the floor, table or luggage rack as it was ‘expensive’. There weren’t any other seats to move to, so I waited near her while holding my very tired son until the ticket collector came round, he moved her (and her bag) so we both had our seats and she had to stand for over an hour.

HollowTalk · 25/06/2019 18:49

I would have thought it was impossible for the computer to allocate you both the same seats. Double check your ticket in case you're in the wrong one!

LMou · 25/06/2019 18:52

This reminds me of a time when a gentleman got my train said I was in his seat. The whole train was empty (it was the non-stop Newcastle to Kings Cross so no more stops).

I wasn’t about to waste my energy arguing with him when I could have a whole table to myself.

I did enjoy it when his ticket was checked and he was booked on the same train the next day. He had to pay and avoided all eye contact with me. It was just the fact that he was so certain that he was right and that 25yo me must be a CF. I did feel sorry for poor ‘Samantha’ who he berated over the telephone though.

Alpal1 · 25/06/2019 18:57

He sounds like he needs his nappy changed. Something similar once happened to me years ago. He is embarrassing himself behaving like a toddler.

Good idea to tweet but nothing wrong with phoning train company really. Just ask for the guard. You don’t have to explain why until they turn up.

Isatis · 25/06/2019 18:58

It'll be hilarious if it turns out he's on the wrong train.

user1480880826 · 25/06/2019 18:59

Surely the display above your head shows the starting station which is not where he got on?

What a prick. Don’t move.

ScreamingValenta · 25/06/2019 19:07

Another reminder to recent joiners to this thread - this all happened yesterday.

purplebunny2012 · 25/06/2019 19:15

I have seen a fight break out over reserved seats, yelling and swearing (and I had my young son with me, so I was rather unimpressed), plus bags actually getting thrown around. It's ridiculous adults can act like this.
The woman in the seat was in the wrong, but the couple who had the reservations were aggressive from the get go

BummyKnocker · 25/06/2019 19:15

Is it just me totally shocked by the pictures on this twitter account referred to upthread

twitter.com/SkylahRhodes/status/1143110483186204675

I just had to hastily close the computer before DD saw it Shock Angry

user1472482328 · 25/06/2019 19:19

What a cock

CrohnicallyEarly · 25/06/2019 19:27

@BitOfFun nobody is diagnosing a stranger as autistic.

However, people are saying it’s a possibility based on the man’s unusual method of communication and social interaction. Two out of the three things that need to be disordered to be diagnosed with ASD. It’s not a huge leap.

If he was a stubborn prick, I feel it is more likely that he would be stubborn in a more eloquent way, such as the stubborn prick in the OP.

Disclaimer: I am autistic and when I got on a train and found someone in my booked seat, I couldn’t get any words out at all. I had had a stressful journey already (nearly missed my train thanks to a security hold up, it was the last train at night) and when faced with a stranger in my seat I simply shut down. It would have been nice if someone had recognised I wasn’t acting in a way typical of NT women and had offered help.

LittleKitty1985 · 25/06/2019 19:31

DH and I once found a couple sat in our seats and when we pointed it out they got all huffy and said "why should we move, we had to sit here because other people are in OUR seats!" I just told them that wasn't anything to do with us and made them move!

BruceAndNosh · 25/06/2019 19:31

Use this form and say a crime is happening RIGHT now.....or 24 hours ago

Honeyroar · 25/06/2019 19:32

What a shame the dog didn't cock it's leg!

WhoLettheCatOut · 25/06/2019 19:33

This happens a lot on my train journeys and it's usually to do with tickets being sold by both the train company and a third party provider. In my experience the last person on goes and finds an empty seat. If the second person is part of a group at the same table I have seen the original person offer to move. This man was being very unreasonable!

JazzersMaw · 25/06/2019 19:35

What really annoys me is that ‘stuck up’ gets used for women. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man called stuck up. I’ll get through to the end and hope there’s a resolution- I’ve read enough to see you’ve checked it’s the right carriage.

Owlsintowels · 25/06/2019 19:39

FYI the Corbyn virgin trains thing is, ahem, fake news! Corbyn was proved to have been not lying by footage released by virgin

www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/virgin-release-traingate-footage-proves-corbyn-told-truth-traingate/23/08/

LouH1981 · 25/06/2019 19:42

The bit with the dog... that literally just made me spit out my jacket potato 😂😂 God bless doggos!
It’s his own bloody fault for leaving his presentation until last minute!
What an absolute idiot.

Schnitzelvonkrumb · 25/06/2019 20:08

I was on a commuter train and a man with an unreasonable amount of bumf for a small tray table and a laptop was sitting in a priority seat but using the other seat for all his crap important paper work. A female passenger got on and asked if she could sit in the other seat. He made no effort to move, then she pointed out it was a priority seat and produced a card that said she had a hidden disability. He was incredibly rude and said something like "well we'd all like one of those sort of cards that gets you a free seat" insinuating it wasn't a proper disability. She looked really embarrassed and he , very huffily made a huge deal about having to move his laptop and all his other stuff to occupy just the one seat!

Shootingstar1115 · 25/06/2019 20:15

I highly doubt he’d do this if you were a man but because you’re woman he feels like he can talk to you like shit and you will move for him.

If you see certain you are in the right seat, stay put!

If there’s other spare seats can’t see what his problem is!!

MerlinsScarf · 25/06/2019 20:34

HollowTalk I don't know how it happens but I've had the same issue as the OP, so there must be a glitch occasionally. Maybe he changed his seating reservation but somehow travelled on the original, or the connection dropped out while the ticket assistant was processing the booking? No idea really.

When it happened to me, I was definitely sitting in the correct seat, carriage and train when along came a businessman much like this chap.

He insisted I give up my seat, I didn't because my reservation wasn't at fault (double checked my online booking, printed ticket etc. and train guard confirmed). Somehow he had been given the same allocation.

I wouldn't have been pleased in his position, but neither of us was more entitled to the seat than the other except that essentially, I got there first. He was so surly that I didn't feel particularly sorry for him though!