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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fell out with best friend. AIBU?

71 replies

64632K · 23/06/2019 21:34

Ok so I am fully prepared to get totally flamed but here goes. So I have been best friends with a male friend for about 20 years. Somehow we got onto the topic of politics, he expressed his views about hating Theresa May, I asked him why? His only response was that she was a bitch and hated her. So my response to him was why was she a bitch and why did he think it was ok to call a woman he had never met a bitch. He said it was because he just thought she was a total stone cold bitch and that was his opinion. I presser harder as to why he felt he could just call a woman a bitch with no actual reason and especially one he has never met. He went off into one and said he couldn't understand why I was defending TM, I replied that I actually wasn't defending her per se, I was asking why he thought it was ok to call her such a degrading name. Why did he feel he could call any woman such names? He didn't get my point and just lost it with me and now we haven't spoken for a long time. AIBU?

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 23/06/2019 21:36

I think yabu to loose a friendship over this yes.

WorraLiberty · 23/06/2019 21:42

Well he could have explained why he thinks she's a bitch, otherwise the conversation was a bit pointless.

But as for the word 'bitch' itself, I have no problem with it.

ICanWearMyBoobsUpOrDown · 23/06/2019 21:44

You were a bit OTT Confused

EAIOU · 23/06/2019 21:45

Yeah it was about Theresa May not womankind.

Think it's time to get the tail between your legs and speak to him!

Passthecherrycoke · 23/06/2019 21:47

Yes was a bit OTT. I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong. There are lots of people in the public eye I would call a wanker or cunt amongst friends

sneakypinky · 23/06/2019 21:48

She is a cold hearted bitch.

PinkiOcelot · 23/06/2019 21:48

Why dud you keep going on and on, like a dog with a bone?! You were way OTT!

He’s entitled to his opinion even if it differs from yours!! He’s probably better off not speaking to you.

sevenoftwelve · 23/06/2019 21:49

How did he lose it?

I kinda see your point, in that it's a pretty miosgynistic stance to take and it would make me uncomfortable. But it seems a lot to stop speaking to each other over it.

64632K · 23/06/2019 21:49

I should say just for context that he has a very degrading view of women, he called his wife a bitch in the same conversation because she had asked for a divorce as she found out he had taken their young sons with him to pick up cocaine, and also called his gf a slut for having an abortion after finding out he was married. The conversation about TM was a trigger point to me challenging his views and his degradation of women in general.

OP posts:
Pearlfish · 23/06/2019 21:51

I don't think she's a bitch, but I'm happy to call Boris a massive dickhead.

Marnie76 · 23/06/2019 21:51

After reading your update, why the hell are you friends with him anyway?

Beesandcheese · 23/06/2019 21:52

He sounds like he doesn't really have much going on upstairs.

rockingchaircandle · 23/06/2019 21:53

He wasn't just randomly insulting a woman he didn't know though.

Stone cold bitch is quite polite really, in this context.

Passthecherrycoke · 23/06/2019 21:53

I’m not sure why you chose to mentions TM in the face of all that Tbh 🤣

ecumenicalpatter · 23/06/2019 21:53

So you've been best friends with this man for 20 years despite his misogynistic viewpoints? Or has it been a sudden revelation once you brought Theresa May up?

Chickychoccyegg · 23/06/2019 21:54

Never mind the T.M stuff he sounds an absolute Knob from your update

NotMyRealName123 · 23/06/2019 21:54

Really???

That's the most ridiculous, clichéd drip feed in the history of MN surely?

AtSea1979 · 23/06/2019 21:55

Well I can see it from both sides. It does scream misogyny but then I think Boris is a total arse, I haven’t met him, and would be shocked if my best friend called me sexist because of it. I probably would struggle to articulate why I think he’s an arse other than because he is a giant arse.

Lifecraft · 23/06/2019 21:56

She is a cold hearted bitch.

I think there were times when she didn't show much emotion when people kind of expected her to. Grenfell for example. But neither you nor I know if she felt any emotion. It's just guesswork.

Unless you actually know her well, in which case I apologise.

64632K · 23/06/2019 21:56

PinkiOcelot I wanted to challenge his views about women in general. He has always given me a level of respect that I have noticed he can't to women in general. The conversation about TM was a trigger point to my questioning of his views about women.

He lost the plot with me by cussing and cursing and saying that he didnt get my point, he could call any woman on the planet a bitch without needing a reason too, then came onslaught as to how women deserved to be called names.

OP posts:
NauseousMum · 23/06/2019 21:57

It's a bit pathetic when he can't articulate beyond 'she's a bitch.' Pathetic for anyone like that with any one they are disliking.

Fair enough to feel that way but when there's enough reasons to say why you can't stand someone, say them.

I wouldn't have fallen out with him but i would have shook my head in amusement and thought pathetic and voiced it if he asked. With the latter, i suspect that would prompt a fallout anyway.

formerlondonlass · 23/06/2019 21:57

So you stayed friends with him whilst he said vile things about the women in his life but he went to far by insulting TM?

He sounds like a bitch. TM is a nasty piece of work too.

katseyes7 · 23/06/2019 21:57

One of my closest friends is the polar opposite to me politically. Occasionally he'll try to wind me up and get me to bite, but l don't, because l know he's doing exactly that, and he knows l won't.
Besides anything else, l value him as a friend too much to fall out over politics. We have virtually everything else in common, and we get on really well otherwise. And l love that we've never had a wrong word about it.

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 23/06/2019 21:58

I get annoyed when people throw insults but can't back it up with reason. If they can elebrate on why they dislike the person or their actions, although I still don't like the insult there can be an amount of justification. To throw a name without thought is just immature.

But, is it really worth the loss of a friendship?

CompostableUsername · 23/06/2019 21:58

I’ve never met Boris Johnson, but I’m pretty steadfast in my opinion that he’s an utter cock.

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