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AIBU?

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Original poster

About 'woo' friend

70 replies

user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:28

Have known a friend for years. She has a good degree and has worked in civil service for many years.

Recently she has been doing all these courses in various things. It seems to have been prompted from when her father died and she got involved with a Spiritualist church. She has moved on to doing courses in NLP (Neurolinguistic programming) Counselling, Hypnotherapy and Reiki. She is very enthusiatic about giving up the day job to be self employed in these other areas.

I find it hard to know what to say as I always found her very grounded and a rational person, (we studied together at university)...feel i am kind of nodding and agreeing but on the other hand really not sure what to make of it all.

I guess it is all beneficial and helpful to people and a change from the job she is doing now. I just hope she is not in her grief being taken advantage of in some way.

OP posts:
BananaCatto · 23/06/2019 15:32

I don’t think hypnotherapy is woo at all?

Divebar · 23/06/2019 15:35

When someone in your life dies it tends to focus the mind on the things that are important. Perhaps your friend is feeling that she needs to make changes and find a more fulfilling path for herself. What’s wrong with that? You seem to prioritise her “ good degree” and her civil service job over her happiness. Perhaps she is responding to grief but that does not mean the changes are negative ones.... and for the record NLP, counselling and hypnotherapy are not “ woo”. You sound pretty closed minded to be honest.

Original poster
user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:36

This is the thing- I am quite willing to be told it is all Ok and not 'woo' at all. It just sounds it (a bit...well some of it)

OP posts:
DuMondeB · 23/06/2019 15:38

I know a ‘master practitioner’ of NLP.

She’s a dick.

Original poster
user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:41

I read on here, (which prompted the post) about hypnotherapy causing issues with some people, made me a bit concerned. And of course if she is leaving a secure job with a good pension that will also be a big change in security for her as her partner is in an insecure type of job and she is the main mortgage payer. So yes it is a concern

OP posts:
SignedUpJust4This · 23/06/2019 15:42

If it helps her cope with her dad's death then fine. If she goes on and on about it or tries to push it on you I'd say no thank you pls

Divebar · 23/06/2019 15:43

Yeah there are lots of dicks in the world.... some of them are self professed master “ something or others” and some no doubt work for the civil service. It’s ok to walk your own path and uncover these things yourself.... we’re all trying to make sense of things and I don’t think it’s fair to lump in counselling with the spiritualist church under the banner of “ woo”

Divebar · 23/06/2019 15:44

Oh here comes the drip feed

Squigglesworth · 23/06/2019 15:44

Not sure what else you can do but continue as you have been doing. If you question her about it too much, she might pick up on your scepticism and pull away. Even if you don't buy into all the things she believes, you can still be friends. Ultimately, it's her life to do with as she chooses. Maybe she'll one day decide that she wants to go back to a more mainstream lifestyle, but on the other hand, maybe this is for life. It doesn't sound as though she's being taken advantage of, imo.

jameswong · 23/06/2019 15:45

What's the question?

Original poster
user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:45

Drip feed Confused? No, not really. Just replying to the PP about the secure job

OP posts:
Original poster
user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:46

Am I right to be concerned about 'woo' friend?

OP posts:
MoreSchnitzelPlease · 23/06/2019 15:46

My mum got sucked in by NLP, Tapping, and a few other things. The courses were run by people with no medical training and in my opinion the certificates are not worth the paper they're written on. Any one can make a certificate and say you've passed a course, it doesn't mean you are actually qualified in the subject. It is ridiculous.

I would be cautious too if my friend was doing this. I think you are right to question it. I'm guessing your friend won't want to hear any objections though.

MyOpinionIsValid · 23/06/2019 15:46

YNBU to hope she isn't taken advantage of.

An Ex colleague went into "woo" , shes a qualified reiki/yoga/acupuncturist etc. We were discussing career options and her daughter wanted to go into nursing. Mum put the daughter off as she would make more doing 'woo' than she would as a matron (who are on 70=K). So if your friend is good at her "woo" practitioning then there is no reason why she wont make a good living and enjoy it. My friends says she makes over 100K profit per annum. (I have no idea if that's true) .

My acupuncturist-chiropractor is £50 per half hour. You only need to work 5 hours a day and you are making 10K a month.

Lovestonap · 23/06/2019 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:49

Well yes it could be lucrative I guess. We live in the SW and there seems to be lots of 'woo'. at around £50 an hour, and lots willing to pay for it also

OP posts:
SunniDay · 23/06/2019 15:49

You could encourage her to try to start building her business part time to ensure she can find enough people willing to pay for her services - either evenings and weekends or by asking to go part time in her current job. If it were my friend I would discourage them leaving their job until they had a good base of paying clients.

Original poster
user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:49

Why do you think I'm a troll Love? Confused

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 23/06/2019 15:52

not sure what the issue is

it's all quite lucrative. Organisations throw money at NLP as well.

so what if it's "woo". And also, would you normally interfere with her financial planning? If she said she was retraining in anything you considered "normal", would you be asking this question here?

Icantreachthepretzels · 23/06/2019 15:52

I'm a trained hypnotherapist and the absolute least woo person you could ever hope to meet. Hypnotherapy is a fantastic tool - it isn't a con (which isn't to say there aren't some shady practitioners out there who are definitely on the take.)
I'm also trained in NLP ... less impressive but i guess if some of it works for some people there's no harm in having it in the toolkit.
I don;t know about reiki but I don't think it's particularly out there.
It's certainly not like she's got into spiritualism and is planning on becoming a medium. There is no 'otherworldly' aspect to NLP hypnotherapy or reiki. And she isn't being taken for a sucker - she's learning a new set of skills which could afford her a very comfortable living.

I wouldn't quit my job and then set up a business mind. I'd build up the business during evenings and weekends until I was sure I could support myself - and then go full time.

LinoleumBlownapart · 23/06/2019 15:54

I'm not sure hypnotherapy can be classed as "woo". I've only ever met two hypnotherapists, one was a GP who also offered hypnotherapy at his practice, but has now retired and the other is a professor of cognitive psychology who also does hypnotherapy for phobias. Neither of them are remotely "woo".

Pipandmum · 23/06/2019 15:55

Making £50 an hour doesn’t mean that goes into get pocket.
But reiki, hypnotherapy and counselling are all well established practises. If she starts part time to gain clients it’s a perfectly legitimate career.

Lovestonap · 23/06/2019 15:56

I just do - my spidey senses are tingling when you pit your 'rationality' against evidence-based therapies. The idea that you wouldn't know how to talk to a friend who has new interests because of a traumatic life event doesn't ring true. But I could be wrong.

Original poster
user87382294757 · 23/06/2019 15:58

I'm not a troll, maybe I am just cynical and I did post to get perspective on this. Maybe the things are not as 'woo' as I thought. Thanks for the replies, they are helpful.

OP posts:
BishopofBathandWells · 23/06/2019 16:05

Just sounds to me like she's had a significant loss in her life and has realised we don't get a lot of time on this earth to do what makes us happy. I suppose I understand your concerns but you may be looking at it from a different perspective - obviously I don't know your personal circumstances, but if you haven't lost someone close to you, you may not understand the urge to reflect upon your life and make changes like this.

As PPs have said, maybe suggest doing it part-time but really, as a friend, all you can do is support her choices and their outcomes, whatever that might be.