To not want to go on cruise PIL have partly paid for?

[dessertmissthecream]

PIL recentely sold their villa in Spain as in their words "we got bored of it". They had a bit of a financial breakdown a while after selling the villa and have been left with a lot less disposable money. Because of this they want to start winding down on the big holiday's and stay more UK based. At Christmas they told us they had booked a cruise for August because they wanted one last big holiday before they stopped. We would go to the Spain villa with them every other year and were there 2 years ago when DS (2) was a few months old. We are technically due to go away with them again this year and they asked us in February. I said we'd think about it and then the idea fizzled out.

Last week DH sat me down and said that though MIL has not mentioned it to me she is quite upset we aren't coming on her last big holiday and that we are running out of time to get tickets. He told me that she has offered to pay for me and DD if we will come which I felt very uncomfortable for but he says it's no different to us getting a cheap holiday at the villa. I ended up saying yes out of guilt.

However I cannot stop worrying. I'm 4 months pregnant and will be 6 months gone by the time we leave and it's a 2 week trip around southern Europe etc. I've heard horror stories of women going into premature labour etc on ships miles away from land with no proper medical help for mum or baby, and DS was 7 weeks early. DS is currently in an awful phase (GP reckons might have ASD) and isn't sleeping, is still potty training and has tantrums daily. We'd either stay with him all day and have him exhuast us or have to leave him in a creche which I couldn't do. I am exhausted. And to top it all off, I am scared shitless of water. Always have been, never learnt to swim. And yes I know you don't go on a cruise ship to have a nice dip in the ocean but eek. Doesn't help it's in the Top 10 biggest cruise ships. There's so much more I've read as well about norovirus breaking out on the ship etc. It sounds bloody awful and I'd much rather drive 3 hours to Cornwall and stay in a caravan for a week by the beach.

Am I being an ungrateful cow if I make an excuse as to why we can't go to PIL? Is it my place considering it's DH's parents?

I would just say no to the trip,because you have some issues with lots of things cruise wise anyway,despite the generous offer you have had.

I would not go on a cruise myself, even though they are hugely popular, But that's just me, I don't want to be on a huge liner with thousands of other people, for two weeks or so.

But I must say, that all the new ships look so lovely, especially when they are starting to sail out of the port, my daughter lives in Southampton,and on visits there,its lovely to go and watch all the ships sailing away.

Oh don't go, it sounds misery under your circumstances.
Say in another 7 years or so & cruise might be feasible, but now ,
It won't be a holiday, tantrums on a ship are fun for no one, giving birth on a boat is not happening, & you are terrified of the sea... what's in it for you?

I would be surprised if you can get insurance cover at this stage in your pregnancy. Don't go without it though.

Just send your DH and DC. You stay home, your ticket’s name can be changed to your DHs.

Do you know who the cruise is with to check their pregnancy T&C for yourself? That might be the quickest solution.

Well, things seemed to have been sorted. DH sent a message to MIL last night explaining everything and apologizing and also saying that I'd be too far along to travel anyway. She replied saying she thought pregnancy cut off was past that and then got back to us after double checking to apologize. She hadn't gotten round to booking mine and DS's tickets yet (was going to do it today!) but DH had already paid for his (they only offered to pay mine and DS's). DH says he doesn't want to go anywhere without us so we are going to see what can be done with the ticket. BIL and his GF might be interested in going if he can take the ticket.

Think MIL is a bit down about it as I know she adores our holiday's and spending time with DS. They live a few hours away so we only see them on special occasions and for these holiday's but I'm sure the pregnany cut off thing was a genuine mistake.

Have told them we are happy to join them on their UK based holiday's in future and will try and get down to theirs more when DC2 is a bit older.

Sounds great. Could you suggest a long weekend away quite quickly so they know they will really get time with you?

Just say no. Why is her happiness worth more than yours?? It shouldn't be. If you don't want to go, and you've got very valid reasons not to, then don't go.

Glad it's sorted. Yy definitely suggest an alternative that suits you. It could be just a day out locally, but it's lovely that you enjoy spending time together.

I hope you get your DH's money back too x