Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I shouldn’t have to justify my house?

96 replies

Carpark1 · 23/06/2019 09:55

So I went on a night out with work the other night (first one since I started there) and a girl i work with offered to collect me and drop me home as I was only just off her route. So I gave her directions and she turned up on time. When I got in the car she said
“Is this actually YOUR house or are you renting?? I answered yes it’s mine we built it 3yrs ago (we live rurally)
Then she said “what does you dh actually do?? He manages a men’s store in the nearest city.
She then proceeded to tell me all night, including all the others at the night out how it was impossible that we could have afforded it ,based on the fact that I only work part time and we have dc. Did I have an inheritance? Did I win the lotto?? Tbh she ruined my night! Aibu to think I shouldn’t have to justify it or answer her questions!!?? What should I say?

OP posts:
emerencealwayshopeful · 23/06/2019 12:30

We bought a large house in our late 20s, with me working part time in my own small business. Most of our friends were living in rented flats and a few were really funny about it - friendships soured a bit.

You are not BU to be annoyed. It's fucking annoying and rude and childish and completely unacceptable.

Take possible comfort in not being alone though.

Carpark1 · 23/06/2019 12:33

@OneThread also a lot of farmers/landowners don’t advertise their land for sale. Approaching a farmer is usually the best and most common practice in my parts but I can’t say for mainland uk.

OP posts:
MrsAJCrowley · 23/06/2019 12:47

I had a similar grilling off a colleague after a bought my house. It’s a fairly normal (for this area) detached Victorian 3 bed but I managed to buy it when I was 24, which I think was the sticking point for her. I got so annoyed with the relentless badgering about how I managed to get the deposit that I snapped a bit and said ‘it was inheritance because my father died when I was 19. What do you think I would prefer? A house or my dad?’ Thankfully, didn’t hear a word from her about it again!

Orangecake123 · 23/06/2019 12:52

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil

Brilliant!

midsomermurderess · 23/06/2019 12:54

Then don't justify your house. Tell her to stop being so ridiculous and shut it down.

PregnantOnPurpose · 23/06/2019 12:55

My bloody other half is guilty of dying these things. It gets me absolutely riled.

We have a small semi detached 2 bed house, 1975 and has those horrible brown square bricks halfway up the house. It was cheap, 140k but we bought it and I'm proud to own it.

But OH sometimes looks at houses, or if we drive past a nice area he constantly makes 'how can people afford these houses? What do they do? Donyounmnkw what I mean? I just dont understand how people afford houses like that'

We also live very rurally. I would absolutely love to win the lottery and buy a nicer house, maybe a nice 4/5 bed that doesnt need anything doing to it, nice parking area, easy to maintain garden. I wouldnt want a mansion, but I do like space (I'm agoraphobic)

But OH comments make me think people work hard, they have decent jobs that they worked hard to get. We both have good careers but where we are they dont pay well, were not interested in travelling to bigger places to work to earn more, so that's why we cant afford a lot.

I think we could do it if we really really put our minds to it, but we dont, we are, or at least I am semi content with my little house. Good on the people who have much nicer bigger houses, I'm abit jealous, but it's only my own fault.

nickymanchester · 23/06/2019 12:57

@OneThreadOnly0101

Rather than Rightmove have a look at somewhere like this that specialises in building land:-

www.plotbrowser.com

Just to give you an example, they have a plot for sale in a village not a million miles away from me which is about 0.12 of an acre:-

Single building plot of 20m x 25m with planning permission granted for a two- to three-bedroom bungalow. Guide price: £150,000.

If you have a look on Rightmove then a typical thirty year old 3 bed bungalow in that area is around £375k:-

3 bedroom detached bungalow for sale

A typical bungalow might be around 100 sq metres (1080 sq ft) and let's say a building cost of £1,800/metre.

So the land would be £150k and £180k to build the bungalow would be a total of £330k against local prices of £375k

EnglishRose13 · 23/06/2019 12:58

@FilthyforFirth

Kindred spirits!

(Even more so judging by the username...)

icecreamsundae32 · 23/06/2019 13:06

One of my friends/colleagues who only works one day a week lives in a huge gated mansion, with a pool, it's a lovely house I've been to a couple of parties and play dates there. Both her kids are at private school and they go on at least 2 long haul holidays a year, have a holiday villa in Spain and both drive flash cars. Her husband owns his own law firm. I knew all this before I ever visited her house but I was still like wow! Not in a jealous way but just wow lol.

She also visited me a few times decent size 3 bed semi, average size garden and I did feel a little embarrassed the first time she came that my house wasn't anywhere near hers but then I got over it as after all she is a friend there to visit me not judge my house, so it works both ways.

FilthyforFirth · 23/06/2019 13:13

@EnglishRose13 haha kindred indeed! Yes, I love a bit of Firth...

My DH was exasperated with me when we were buying a house last year as my immediate question on any house we looked at was 'where will the tree go?'

We are also supposed to be in our forever home now, but if we can ever afford a house with a bigger hallway you better believe we are moving Grin

MrsMozartMkII · 23/06/2019 13:20

Loving the responses on here Grin

We'll be the same. Hopefully. One day. Maybe...

JingsMahBucket · 23/06/2019 19:01

@nickymanchester another poster asked but thank you very much for giving that explanation about plots and self-build prices. I’m not from the UK and it was really helpful.

MindyStClaire · 23/06/2019 20:58

What's weird is that self building isn't unusual in NI at all, especially in rural areas.

Carpark1 · 23/06/2019 21:05

@MindyStClaire I know right!?! I’m starting to think it was more to do with the fact I am now part time etc Hmm

OP posts:
MindyStClaire · 23/06/2019 21:07

Clearly your house is gorgeous OP. Grin

Rainbowknickers · 23/06/2019 21:20

I had this with my boss the other day
At random she just turned round,saw I was stood there and asked how much my fella earns
I just laughed and said ‘enough for us to live on’ and walked off
Tbh she doesn’t have a filter at all

Cherrysoup · 23/06/2019 21:21

If she starts up again on Tuesday, tell her that she ruined your night and it's none of her fucking business where you live. She sounds like a right pita.

ImQueenOfhearts · 23/06/2019 21:39

press ignore

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 24/06/2019 09:49

With these nosy CF... I think never giving them an inch over any real info is the way to go..

Even by saying... I/my partner save/in good jobs... Is giving these nosy CF way too much personal info...

I would always do a jokey response until I got fed up and say... 'do you know how rude you're being?? I'm not discussing it with you...

So...

"Actually don't let on, but we do a little light cat burgling at weekends...its SO profitable!
"
' We bought this house for a price of a packet of tea! Such a bargain'... Then walk off

contentedsoul · 24/06/2019 17:31

smells like a stealth boast to me.....

midsomermurderess · 24/06/2019 19:35

•soul•, I agree. It is when you strip it back, a stealth boast.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread