To beg for your help in dealing with this pain! ***POO RELATED MASSIVE TMI ALERT***

[CaptainCabinets]

I AM NOT THE POO TROLL

I’ve got some kind of stomach bug, but it’s only coming out of one end. I’ve been to the toilet 3-4 times an hour for the past 27 hours and I’m now screaming and crying in pain from the piles and fissures that have sprouted.

I’m torn to shreds, bleeding and my poo feels like lava. DP went out and got me some Anusol earlier but it doesn’t seem to be working. I’ve been sitting on the shower floor for most of the day wasting god knows how much water (we don’t have a bathtub) because that seems to be the only thing that soothes the burning agony temporarily.

Any recommendations at all would be wonderful please.

You poor thing, OP. This sounds like a flare up of Ulcerative Colitis, which my mum suffers from. Have you had a colonoscopy?

Metanium its an inpenatrative (so?) barrier that scrubbing won't remove but will mean poo won't sting!

Still alive (barely!)

I have forgone wiping entirely the past couple of days and have been using a jug of lukewarm water after each motion. Much gentler, might make it a permanent switch!

I had a phone consultation with my GP earlier and have been prescribed some GTN cream (she didn’t want to px Xyloproct as she’s not familiar with it, fair enough); I had a flexi sigmoidoscopy a few years ago and bloods which revealed ‘inflammation’, at which point ulcerative colitis was mentioned but never followed up.

I’ve taken Buscopan with little effect. Hot water bottle is comforting but not doing a lot else.

The dark circles under my eyes are disgusting, I’m sweating like a sinner in church and look like I’ve been on a meth binge for several days.

I tried a cup of tea earlier and it tasted bizarre as I’ve had nothing but water since Friday. I’m thoroughly fucking bored, miserable and sore, there are bruises on my thighs from resting my elbows there so often while I’m on the toilet! Seeing the GP tomorrow because this is just barbaric now.

Sheesh. That sounds awful.

Do you have any other signs of colitis?

I hope you get some relief.

This sounds like me when my Crohn's disease started. It was treated as food poisoning and then IBS. It was then a 12 week wait to see a consultant. My lovely parents paid for me to go private and I saw a consultant the same week. He then saw me as an NHS patient. I had a sigmoidoscopy the following week then a barium follow then a colonoscopy. Keep going back if you are still ill.

I have a lot of symptoms which point to UC, yeah.

On a ‘normal’ day, I’ll go to the toilet 5 or 6 times and it’s rarely solid. I suffer from wind a lot. There’s usually mucus involved. I get abdominal pain frequently and often you can literally hear my guts churning if you’re sitting beside me.

I’ve got crohns so can totally empathise with you.

Literally a pain in the arse (and guts) I know I’m due a bad spell of mine go quiet for a day.

The saga continues! I’ve got my GTN cream...and can’t use it because I’m a migraine sufferer. Deep joy!

You poor thing, this sounds horrendous :( I hope the GP can help you out tomorrow x

ice pack wrapped in towel or bag of peas. Sit in an ice bath if you can.
I am also suffering with this at the moment so reading with interest.

Hi OP, I was in stitches reading this thread at first, the helpful hints were hilarious.
But as a nurse and mother of a DC with UC you now have my full sympathy.
May i suggest using cotton wool and baby oil to clean your bum? Wipes etc tear the skin. Use any barrier cream but always wipe with baby oil and cotton wool. Told to me by tissue viability nurse.
My DC had a tummy bug, which caused his first ever flare up. So it could be that you have had a bug which has made the UC rear it’s head. Hope you gets sorted ASAP.

Hi, I have had skin tags / external piles before and may sound mad but I find menthol reliefs it. So Vicks or Tiger balm. Stings for a second and then calms it down.

@shakeitoff that is a big fat fucking NOPE from me

How about putting Vaseline over yourself to cause a barrier between poo and skin.
Vaseline is sometimes used by serious hikers of they are caught short on a hike as you don't need toilet paper ( no contact with skin apparently !) It might give the area a rest from paper for a few days.

I have no advice Captain but wanted to offer sympathies! It sounds horrendous.

I had a bout of some of the symptoms you describe - the endless shitting regardless of what is consumed, and the churning guts - for 9 weeks, and I lost a stone. Eventually scored a private sigmoidoscopy, which was most enjoyable along with the obligatory but largely unnecessary enema (if they waited long enough any intestinal contents would've been exiting my arse like a hose anyway).

The conclusion? My bowel looked "a bit red". As though I was getting over an infection. Might have been giardia. Who knows.

It did stop eventually though, and my arse cleared up from looking like a blood orange. I hope you get to the bottom of it (hohoho).

Chin up

A little update for you all! It’s not a bug (stool sample was clear) and I’ve still got tummy pains and runny poo so looks like it’s something inflammatory

Deep joy!

Apply a thick layer of Vaseline around your anus. It will protect the fissures from the acidic poo and stop the burning. Also, it will help the healing process. I hope you feel better soon.

When I had pules after pregnancy I used Germolene with anaesthetic on /in my bum, it really numbs the pain. Hope you get some relief soon!

*piles. Stupid phone.

My sympathies as well. Re: GTN cream and migraines...I have chronic migraines and angina, so have to use nitro (GTN). Life vs headpain isn't really a choice. I don't always get a migraine, but if I do it's not as severe as a non-nitro one & I take ibuprophen for it. Also, occurrence & severity of migraine with nitro use decreases as your body gets used to the nitro. So it may be worth trying if you're getting desperate. A little more head pain, a little less butt pain - a change is as good as a rest?!

What about Coeliac disease? Sounds like me before my diagnosis.

Ah it sounds rubbish! I have UC and honestly the GP are not great at treating pre diagnosis. Go back Monday, insist on bloods to check hb, crp and u&es, get a stool sample sent for faecal calprotectin and demand a decent dose of steroids for at least a week with an emergency gastro appointment! If it is UC it needs to be treated quickly to stop it getting worse! Good luck & feel free to pm me xx

I took Imodium for a bug that gave me the shits. My stomach swelled up like a balloon then I was farting really badly (with the shits this is a massive problem)! For some reason my hands went white and freezing and I had blue fingernails from a lack of circulation!