To beg for your help in dealing with this pain! ***POO RELATED MASSIVE TMI ALERT***

[CaptainCabinets]

I AM NOT THE POO TROLL

I’ve got some kind of stomach bug, but it’s only coming out of one end. I’ve been to the toilet 3-4 times an hour for the past 27 hours and I’m now screaming and crying in pain from the piles and fissures that have sprouted.

I’m torn to shreds, bleeding and my poo feels like lava. DP went out and got me some Anusol earlier but it doesn’t seem to be working. I’ve been sitting on the shower floor for most of the day wasting god knows how much water (we don’t have a bathtub) because that seems to be the only thing that soothes the burning agony temporarily.

Any recommendations at all would be wonderful please.

Lanacaine - May not be spelled right but it has anaesthetic in it. Trust me I have crohns & bile salt malabsorption and can poo 20 times in a day.

Ummm, sounds like norro virus, eat and drink nothing then it'll stop

Try a sitz bath. I know u don't have a bathtub but you may be able to do it in the shower tray if you block up the plug hole. Basically warm water and table salt and just sit in it for about 15 mins. You can do as many of them as you want and it helps ease pain and itching. Use toilet wipes instead of loo paper.

You need a barrier cream. Likely poop is acidic and burning the skin

Preparation H make medicated bum wipes.

Am chortling inside, because I've opened mumsnet because I'm on the crapper. And your thread was say there on top.

Codeine or cocodamol will help bung you back up, and plain toast. At least, bread products works for me.

If you have a much more petite arse than mine, I'd suggest filling a spare washing up bowl with cold water, placing it in the shower, and sitting in it.

Please do try Imodium, it won’t trap the bug at all. Obviously lots of fluids and would recommend sudocrem too. Maybe ‘moist’ toilet tissue? Hope you recover soon.

I would say don't wipe with toilet paper, a damp flannel or just water will be gentler and yep baby nappy rash cream - any you have in? I'd go for bepanthen if buying! You poor thing!

Another vote for the sitz bath - practically lived on it for the weeks after delivery. Very soothing, easy to put on the toilet so no need for toilet paper, and better than a bath.

Oh and make sure you're having plenty of diaoralyte....or other rehydration fluids

I can't believe I'm sharing this but crouch in the bath and poo over a shower head spraying water at your poor, tortured bum shoot.

Also drink as much water as.you can. Constantly. It dilutes the acidity.

Going down the sitz bath route I wonder if a post partum spray would work to numb the piles ?

Don’t take Imodium. The diarrhoea is your body’s way of expelling whatever is causing the upset .sodocrem is a good idea. Keep sipping fluids if you can .

Could you try some of the Enterosgel to stop the diarrhoea? I think it’s natural and binds toxins or something? Rather than just bunging you up.
Lots of nappy cream, a mix of metanium and sudocrem always clears nappy rash up so quickly so guessing it would do similar.
Does germolene not have a local anaesthetic in as well ? Might be worth a try.
Hope you are feeling better soon!

Oh OP, I sympathise. I had a similar thing recently and then pain was like nothing else. I remember staggering up and down the hall in the early hours (I’d read that walking helped) weeping with the pain. I almost hoped it would get worse so I could go to hospital.

First off, stop eating. If it’s not water, don’t consume it. If there’s nowt in there it’s can’t come out. Paracetamol is your friend because ibuprofen can’t be taken on a bad stomach. Then, get onto 101 for some advice. Gentle hugs and I hope you feel better soon.

Metanium was a magic potion for my son with ulcerative colitis (which meant he spent about of 50% of his time crapping).

111not 101. Marvellous as the local police are, they won’t be able to help here....

Get on the phone to the GP on Monday for some scheriproct suppositories, and ointment while you're at it. Magic stuff.
My extensive knowledge of pile treatment options is one of the main reasons I shall never consider a third child

Anusol did very little to help me. You need this bad boy:
www.boots.com/hemoclin-gel-45ml-10067550
It’s quite expensive and not particularly pleasant to apply but it worked wonders very quickly.

Could you try washing with the shower head aimed at the affected area, rather than wiping every time you go? May be gentler on the skin!

Just a note of sympathy and support really, and salute to the amazimg posts of @ShitAtScarbble for making me genuinely laugh out loud, and for @MrJollyLivesNextDoor.... wanna shake unwashed hands or something? 1.5 stone would just be IDEAL now!

Hope you feel better soon OP. Sorry you have such a horrible bug, but hopefully these posters making you feel better psychologically.

Only practical suggestion is the Anusol wipes DH bought me after DD2 childbirth piles. Will sooth your arsehold / piles collection

Another vote for sudocrem here. I've used it in the past for similar reasons. Put a generous amount on before bed & in the morning you will find it has helped heal the ripped sensation from over pooping.

Sending OP. It's awful I know x

Another vote for metanium

DM had a similar situation a few months ago and said the relief from the metanium was instant

Beg to differ re Imodium I had this bug earlier on this year and that stopped it right in its tracks:)

Drinink plentey of water as well.

Fill the fingers of a latex glove with water & witch hazel, freeze until solid, then use to ease piles back in & leave to melt, loads of sudocrem to help soreness, wash, don't wipe, no soap, use cream, pat dry. I've been there, suffer from IBS & have had 4 hour sessions on toilet, it's no joke. Tomorrow get someone to get you some Germaloids cream & suppositories, keep drinking, keep warm & rest.