To ask how learning to drive changed your life?

[OliviaisGoodAtLots]

I'm 34 and currently learning to drive. It's costing me a fortune and I'm losing heart a bit. I've had to learned as I've moved to a city that doesn't have great transport. I currently cycle everywhere but on awful weather days I'm often stuck.

Please tell me the ways in which driving changed your life so I can keep my motivation up!

To be honest, the main change was confidence in myself. I'd had to turn down a job when I failed my third test (the place was in the middle of nowhere). Being able to drive DP's car was handy but not necessary, and I almost never drive without him in it. Then I couldn't drive for ages thanks to SPD and birth problems. Until DP was in hospital 40 min drive away. Checking on him, planning to take him home, then him needing to be kept in an extra night, would have cost us hundreds in taxis (though owning a car is about a grand a year). I only drive say 3 days a month, but it's to make life easier, maybe going to the Horniman museum in15 min not an hour by bus, or being able to buy a bulky item, get ds from school, get to the GP, and do a shop on the way home, which would have taken my whole non-working day. Or being able to plan a group holiday rurally and collect people and then let them do all the other work. Just very helpful.

I started learning at 23 and gave up after 3/4 shitty instructors who literally had no patience with me whatsoever. I then started again at 31 when I got a new job and it was taking me an hour and fifteen minutes to get to work on public transport that I realised would take about 12 minutes in a car. I got a recommendation from a colleague of an instructor who was absolutely fantastic. He took my right back to basics and I passed first time after 6 months steady lessons and lots of tears.
The best thing for me is the most basic of being able to just get up and go wherever I want when I want. If I run out of milk/bread/coffee at 10pm I can just hop in the car and nip to Asda or go to the places my DH hates such as IKEA, Home Bargs, The Range etc..

Please don't give up , I know it can be difficult depending if it's manual or automatic but the flexibility of having a license is great.
I have in the past worked in roles which required me to have a vehicle, whether you purchase a vehicle at the end, or use friends and family's vehicles which has happened , people resent you less on occasions out as you can share the drive

It's easier to travel with young children, shop for heavy items etc

I commutate now for work ( new job) via public transport on the days when there have been protests and travel has been difficult I've used my vehicle giving me the flexibility

I also help my grandparents who are in their 80s sometimes for shopping etc

I passed my test last year finally , at 28. It means I can take my kids more places (we live in a crappy middle of no where town) I don't have to faff around with taxis for shopping ect, and 3 weeks after passing I took my kids on holiday that didnt involve 4 young children on a 3 hour coach with the aircon dead. I have a better social life (my friends don't live close by) and with driving and my youngest starting school in September, I can get a job! That's the big one for me, I need a job that is unsociable hours due to childcare issues, and lack of public transport late at night has always made it an issue.

I got better jobs when I passed my test. My town didn't have much, and the nearby city has much more.

For me it was the freedom of being able to jump in the car and take the kids to where they needed to be without hassle. All too often one child had something on after school at one time then another one had to be somewhere else half an hour later. No good on a bus

Also when my ex left me I was very depressed and my only comfort was to get the kids in the car and go off and do things.

I also wouldn't be able to work full time. I finish at five and gave to pick my dd3 up from after school club by 5.30 7 miles away..rush hour traffic too. No way could I do that on a bus..the nearest bus stop is 15 minutes walk and then it's an hour on two buses..lots of stops and trailing around housing estates and then a change in town to my village. Nightmare.

For all the nervous drivers here or those who had mental obstacles at first - how would you encourage someone to drive when they suffer frequent panic attacks and physical anxiety symptoms like IBS? I would love more independence, but I have agoraphobia and I feel like it's barring me from learning (even though being able to drive would help me get out more I suppose). I worry so much about having a panic or needing the loo, whether it's on public transport or when travelling as a car passenger. Any tips?

I found driving a real struggle, it took my five tests to pass! I was a nervous driver and felt like giving up many times.

Three years on and i can't imagine life without a car. Yes it's expensive, and an additional worry, but the freedom it gives me is priceless. I can go where I like, when I like, and it's opened up more opportunities for me workwise too.

@sweetvamp you’ll need the right instructor. Someone on here mentioned an instructor who works with people who have additional needs which would work. I clicked straight away with my instructor, she was very intuitive about how I learn. But don’t be afraid to change instructors if they don’t seem able to work with you.

I don’t have panic attacks but I would get sweaty and uncomfortable! You could make some if, then plans with your instructor about your concerns. Remember the instructor also has controls and can drive if you are not able! You might plan a route that goes around your local area for example. You can pull over in a safe place if you feel unable to continue. In the early days, you’ll be pulling over a lot anyway to talk about things and discuss next step.

I think the best would be to be upfront about your needs and that will help you find someone. However you will probably have moments of being uncomfortable while you learn. To get you through that it’s good to have in mind your big ‘why’ for doing the thing. Being specific about it and making it a reason that resonates with you is important. I mean you don’t HAVE to learn to drive, but if you want to then you can.

My job required me to be able to drive so that was my big motivator as I really wanted the job! Also the freedom is great not relying on anyone else, I can arrange and plan things whenever I want to it's just a case of hopping in my car and off I go

It meant I could give a fellow student a lift home after nights out. Why is that a good thing? Well, we’ve been married 41 years and might never have got into a relationship if I couldn’t drive!

I gained weight! There were other factors, but losing the 40m walking I did each day between my flat, the train and work did make a big difference.

As did walking to work again once we moved.

I was your age - stick with it! It made me feel like a grown up for starters. It’s fantastic for days out with the kids, taking all our stuff to the beach etc. We use a lot of public transport but sometimes it is just too expensive or not convenient. We took a last minute holiday to France by Ferry which was good fun. On a more serious note when DM was very ill and spent quite a bit of time in hospital I wouldn’t have been able to get there without a car, or take DF there etc and when she got out she has ongoing treatment for months and I was able to take my turn getting her to appts.

I was the same age when I finally learned to drive. It has made so many things, so much easier. When I had 2 under 3 and neither of the little sods would nap in the house, they would still nap in the car. So I could go for a drive, they would sleep, I remained sane.

We can go on different kinds of holidays and visit family more often, as we don't have only one driver.

I can take my kids to clubs they otherwise couldn't do as they aren't on a bus route/are too far to walk.

One of my kids is autistic and really struggles with public transport and very long days. A car means we can do trips that he would just not cope with if we had to go by train.

I appreciate most of these are about the kids, if I'd never had them I don't think being able to drive would have been as important.

Oh the PP has reminded me, when my dad had cancer, I could take him to his chemo and radiotherapy appointments. He lived rurally and it was 90 miles to his hospital. I have no idea what we would have done if I couldn't drive.

I passed my test at 21, I never really wanted to learn to drive but my mum pushed me and said your thank me for it one day and by god do I.

I’ve got a son with asd and severe learning difficulties and over the years we’ve had a lot of hospital appointments especially in the early days of him being diagnosed.

There was no way he would wait around for a bus for any length of time or with the meltdowns that he had, but by being able to drive it gave me and us the freedom to leave for appointments when it suited us and wait in the car until the last possible moment before an appointment so were not hanging around for too long and also just going for a drive when we’ve have a bit of cabin fever during the school holidays.

My mum’s no longer alive but I would love to of thanked her for pushing me to learn, and for making my life just that little bit easier.

Passed my test last year at 39. It means so much to me. I've spent summer taking the kids to local beaches and attractions. I can take ds to his swimming lessons!
Driving changed my life and my kids lives for the better. We don't have to wait for dh to drive us.
It's hard, I thought I'd never drive. Still makes me anxious. But don't give up, it's so worth it!
The freedom to just go and open up your world is worth every tear I shed.
Good luck op!