To ask how learning to drive changed your life?

[OliviaisGoodAtLots]

I'm 34 and currently learning to drive. It's costing me a fortune and I'm losing heart a bit. I've had to learned as I've moved to a city that doesn't have great transport. I currently cycle everywhere but on awful weather days I'm often stuck.

Please tell me the ways in which driving changed your life so I can keep my motivation up!

I live in Cumbria and am a peripatetic teacher. I literally couldn't do my job if I didn't drive. Also we spend a lot of time walking in the beautiful Lake District fells, most of which wouldn't be accessible by public transport.

Getting my license meant I could move to a village to raise my family. It meant I could drive them to nursery in town when I returned to work and it meant I could commute to a better job as the years went by.

Now, I drive from my home to visit my adult children some 70-120 miles away. Next month I’m picking up my youngest daughter and her two children on the Sunday and on the Monday we are driving to Wales for a week.

Don’t give up, it will be so worth it once you are mobile.

I'm so glad I learnt to drive and would never give it up voluntarily; not if a doctor told me I should. It gives me:

Independence
A safe way to travel no matter what time of day
The ability to do my job
Convenience
Choice

I had a period of 6 months when I wasn't able to drive due to my medical condition and a change of medication. It was a frustrating period of time. I don't want to rely on other people and hated having to ask for help.

I think it is an empowering skill to learn.

I couldn’t have done my job (on call doctor to two different hospitals at once, for several years).
I was on call from home and regularly drove at over 100mph to get to A and E or the operating theatre. I don’t think our hourly village bus service would have cut it...!
I’m retired now, but still feel nostalgic for the adrenalin rush. And amused, when I recall the time the police ran me off the road for speeding, and were hugely apologetic when they realised where I was going!
Nowadays, driving is just very convenient for visiting the DC who live and work 50 miles away, and very safe for getting home late at night from the bridge club - no waiting alone at dark bus stops, and I can lock the car doors while stopped at traffic lights.

It took me ages to learn (17-19) but it is the best thing I have done for my independence.
It means I can go and visit my family 4 hours north (it would be £160 for 2 on the train but it's about £45 in fuel).
My job is in a rural town where the last bus is at 5.20 and I finish at 5.30. The train station is 2 miles from my office and they run every 2 hours. I've worked there 12 years!
My NCT group is spread across 4 towns and all 7 of them drive so I would miss out. I would have gone stir crazy on mat leave without a car. We have trains but DS had a pram with carrycot for 6 months that didn't fold so I couldn't have used them (no chance I was doing hours round a tourist city in winter with a baby in a sling).
It feels safer at night. I could get myselg home from a friend's house at 11pm in a fast-moving locked box.

I learned when I was 17 and passed my test but didn't drive again until I was pregnant when I was 32. I had a few refresher lessons. That was 10yrs ago.
If I couldn't drive, we wouldn't be able to live where we have done for the last 10 years as it is a large village with three buses a day. Nor would I have been able to do the job I did for the first 7yrs we lived here as I had to drive the DC to nursery and then to the station and get to work on time. Nor could I do the job I do now (50 min drive).
I would have been very lonely on maternity leave as we moved to an area where we knew no one so I often drove for an hour back to where we used to live to meet up with a friend.
The DC's lives would have been utterly different. Our village is lovely but has no amenities other than the school, a playground and a post office. The school does offer a number of after school clubs and brownies meets there too but I drive the DC to swimming, gymnastics & football and all of their various competitions in those.

Honestly, it didn't. But then I live in London.

Cycling is fine, even in rain and wind. You can get a box bike with rain cover if you are worried about the rain and a child. There is lots of advice online.

I would say that driving has given me confidence and freedom. Keep at it! You will pass and you will be able to get on the road.

To give you hope: I was a very nervous learner, I passed my test fourth time when I just turned 18. Didn’t drive until after uni - got a car in my mid 20s so I could relocate to another part of the country for work, which also required a driving licence. So having my licence helped me to get a job that I really wanted.

I later changed jobs and sold my car. Only drove my now DH’s car every now and then over almost 10 years. Totally lost my confidence and the thought of driving made me anxious.

But I got back behind the wheel after having a baby. I felt pretty restricted on mat leave. Vowed to get a car when I returned to work. Been back on the road for a year now and it’s made such a difference to my life. It’s not essential for my lifestyle but having the freedom and flexibility in terms of commute/pick ups/visiting family/taking my child places has been a real game changer. I actually realised how being reliant on unreliable public transport for work/pick up/child’s medical appointments etc was getting quite fraught and making me quite anxious. I hated being at the whim and mercy of an unreliable rail system.

You will get there and it’ll be worth it!

The freedom - can go where you want when you want. And if I couldnt drive I certainly couldnt do the job I do.

When I was about your age I had two little boys but was getting broody again, DH was no longer working from home and finding it difficult to accommodate giving us lifts, he told me no DC number three until I passed my test! I finally knuckled down and tried again, a couple of tests later I passed, then had DS3!

I was the same age as you op and I hated learning. I still don’t love it, but aside from the things other people have listed : I have the knowledge that I can see through something that I find challenging. To be fair at one point it was sheer bloody mindedness not to quit that saw me through!

I learnt late in life too. Kept failing the damn test and had to go on a residential in the end. Anyway that's another story. Ways in which it's brilliant. Firstly time: apart from the daily traffic commute getting anywhere is a lot faster. Your range increases hugely so if you need to eg buy tiles for your bathroom you can drive to three different tile shops in an afternoon rather than just going to one. Secondly time. Waiting for buses or walking takes forever but in my car I can nip to places really fast. Thirdly getting to awkward places, where I live the rugby club is just a 10 mins drive into the country but there is literally no public transport rto get there so if you didn't drive you'd have to get a taxi. Next is kids stuff. Getting the kids to all their clubs and parties without a car would be a nightmare. We all share lifts but still so many of them are in non bus locations eg the climbing centre is way out of town on an industrial estate. Very tricky without a car. Then there's UK holidays. We go camping loads. We can load up the car with tent, sleeping gear and 1000 other bits of kit and get to some amazing places that are remote and no where near public transport. Independence is the key thing though. Now I never have to ask anyone for a lift anymore. I'll cheerfully offer lifts but me driving means I leave when i want to. Last one just occurred to me, my car is like my little second wardrobe. There always a spare pair of heels or macs for the whole family, a brolly, a first aid kits etc that I'd never be able to physically carry all the time so I'm always equipped for every eventually. 😂. I love driving, can you tell?

Changed my life.
I wanted a sideways shift in my career, but driving to client sites was essential, job came with a company car.

I passed my test, got the job I wantef, quadrupled my salary, monthly meetings in Paris, regular visits to San Francisco to head office, I was able to afford a lovely house in the city, fantastic long haul holidays abroad.
None of that was possible without a driving license.

I think the good thing about driving is you don't have to do it if you don't want to but the option is there. So yes - you can still cycle and walk to your hearts content (I barely touch my car during the week) but when you need it you can.

For me it's been the ability to get away at the weekends and do my hobby (mountain biking). No kids here so spend every weekend in different parts of the country in beautiful places with friends or alone.

Before I could drive I would get the train to ride but the routes are very limited to rural places (ie non existent) insanely expensive and nowadays they have made it impossible to take your bike on a train.

With the car I can go wherever I want, whenever, with all my stuff and totally spontaneously.

I recently passed at 34 too. Honestly, now I have absolutely no idea how I managed without a car before. Life is just so much easier to organise. Keep going - it will really revolutionize your life

I just love being able to get away especially on a whim.
I can take the kids out to places that aren’t always easy to get to by public transport or would take too long.
We pack bags and take gifts to stay with family. It’s hard to carry that much stuff.
I feel safe coming back after midnight from an evening out with friends.
After school activities, birthday parties and seeing friends are much easier.
We’ve been stuck in traffic plenty of times but games, chat, radio, podcasts and audiobooks have kept us entertained.

Different angle- I've had a licence since I was 17, but gave sent the last 5 years living where I couldn't get a licence (because I wasnt working -DH had one), and for me, it was the time it cost me.

2 busses a day. Both shortly after 9am. So if you wanted a couple of different things, you needed to decide which direction would be most likely to achieve everything to a minimium level. Back in the UK, I'd have jumped in the car and gone to both places, and got the best values/most suitable items rather than the most convenient. And still be home before the first bus would have got me back.

It's the ability to be spontaneous. Hey, were about an hour away from you tomorrow, fancy poppi g down to visit is possible with a car, it wasnt usually possible on public transport.

Its the flexibility. You dont HAVE to be ready for the 9.07 bus, you can leave at 8.56 or 9.14, meaning you can go as soon as its convenient, not think 'oh, only 10 mins, not worth doing anything other than have a cup of tea and a biscuit'.

Going back to read what others have written now.

You have more choice of jobs.
You don't have to wait in rain for unreliable public transport.
You have more choice of schools/nurseries.
You don't need to rely on your partner for lifts to awkward places.
As your parents get older you may be able to help them out more.
You can take your children to wider variety of clubs.
You have the knowledge that if something happened and you neeeded to get to hospital quickly you could.
You will be able to go on longer road trips as you can share driving.
If you have to buy something heavy/awkward from B&Q you don't have to bring it home on bus.

Driving is one of those things you learn to live without so don't miss if you've never driven but the freedom you will have will be life changing.

Don't give up now because you've already spent so much. Get more practice between lessons. Get a friend /relative to take you out.

I didn't learn until I was 28 because it scared me. I don't love it but it's like going to the dentist it's a necessary evil. It'll open up new jobs because you can commute by car weekends away in remote places. It makes life an awful lot easier

I got my license when I was 28. It was so, so worth it.

We live rurally and the freedom it gave me was immense. Meant I could go wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted, without having to worry about getting home again.

It's far cheaper to run my car than it is to catch public transport (I commute a 60 mile round trip a week and drive on my days off to take the dog out or to see family) and never pay more than £35 a week in fuel - normally it's way under £30.

Public transport here is atrocious and commuting by bike is impossible due to the nature of the roads (unless you're either super fit and can avoid the commuting roads, or you have some kind of death wish). It would be downright stupid to take a child with you on the back of your bike!

I passed in my later 20s. Literally changed my life, and was sooo convenient when I had children as we could go to friends we would t have got to in public transport.
Now I drive to work - it more than halves the travel time.
The best thing is the freedom, although am not a big fan of being in the road with some really awful drivers I put up w it for convenience sake.

I live rurally so without being able to drive I wouldn't be able to get to work and do my job, my children wouldn't have been able to go to pre-school or after school clubs, I would have to food shop daily as I could only buy what I could carry.

As others have said its the freedom and not being reliant on others for a lift or public transport which is patchy and very expensive where I am.

We go camping to some stunning places - impossible without a car. Public transport would add hours to any journey I make - I don't have time for that.

Driving is a good life skill to have, even if you don't drive often.

This is off topic, but I’ve read a few threads that mention how much it costs to learn to drive (I presume this is in the UK). Why does it cost so much and what does it involve?

I’m in Australia, my kid on his L plates needs 130 supervised driving hours before he can go for his provisional licence (where he can then drive by himself). It’s not expensive, the main investment is parental time sitting in the passenger seat. We will pay for three driving lessons in total which will cost the equivalent of about 40 pounds each. Why does it cost so much elsewhere, what does it involve?

Benefits - I imagine living or visiting anywhere without good public transport means you need to know how to drive. 😁

I would have seriously limited jobs if I couldn't drive. Even my current commute wouldn't take me 15mins to drive to the next village. I'd have to bus it into town and then onto the village, 1hr30 later.
There's also the kids parties to get to here there and everywhere, often on Sunday where there is very limited transport.

I was 30 when i learnt to drive. Apart from having my children it was the best thing I've done. Gives you so much more freedom, you can go anywhere on days out. I have 1 friend who doesn't drive and when we meet we are limited as to where we can go with the kids. Keep going it will be so worth it.