WIBU to tell DH he looks silly in some of his outfits?

[Birdsonginthetrees]

We've been together 20 years. When we first met he wore jeans and t shirts and looked nice.

About 7 years in, he started wearing more eccentric outfits, until I eventually gently told him his outfits didn't work. He was hurt and upset and I felt bad, but he seemed to stop the worst combinations.

Since then he wears his weirdest stuff when he goes out on his own, but sometimes I'm embarrassed when we're together, because he still wears odd combinations.

Tonight when he went out DS told him he looked awful and I've been cringing about the looks he'll be getting as he walked into town.

I don't know what to do - on the one hand I think people have a right to wear what they like and don't want to hurt his feelings by bringing this up again. But on the other hand I want to feel proud of my DH and to fancy him, but I can't when he looks so silly.

It would be very outing to describe his outfits but try and imagine if someone had thrown together some very loud items, vintage 70s items, clashing patterns, over the top accessories, a hat, and some worn stuff with holes in all together in a crazy mismatched way.

I would love to say that it doesn't matter and be really cool about it, but actually I would hate it.

Interesting - 56% YANBU 44% YABU but most of the posts think IABU.

Wonder if the YABUs would change their minds if they could see the photos?!

Just tell people you are his carer.

Orangeballon

One of our old friends is a very eccentric dresser. Last time we met up with him for a meal DS1, who hasn’t seen him for a couple of years, genuinely thought we were being approached by a homeless man.

I quite like it, it’s nice to different. Old friend’s wife is a very conservative dresser.

Just had a thought, maybe you are old friend’s wife OP?

I'd like to think that I would be cool with it but in reality I'd just want to say 'mate, you look like twat and I'm embarrassed for you'.

Being yourself is one thing, being self-consciously 'wacky' is quite another and I wouldn't want to be seen with him.

He can wear what he likes. It is up to him how he handles reaction. I love eccentric dressers (being one myself} And yes, post some photos!

TinklyLittleLaugh Maybe I am?!

Wish I could post some photos but I can't - it'd be too outing!

This is what happens when people follow the fashion like sheep, you can't think for yourself, instead you feel embarrassed when someone you are seen with steps out of your line.

Good on your DP - there's nothing wrong with individuality.

Hahahahah to me following fashion! No, I just dress in whatever is on my floordrobe. Don't really care that much about clothes.

I just don't want to be seen out with someone who looks like they're in homeless style fancy dress.

Placemarking in the hope we get to see some photos

In all honesty I'm with OP
I had an ex who thought he looked wacky in loud 70's print shirts but he looked awful and I'd feel embarrassed. I'm happy to admit that's my issue but so be it. It definitely put me off finding him attractive.
To have your own sense of style is great, but it doesn't always translate to dressing well. You can be different and alternative and still look good obviously- it doesn't sound like this is what OP's husband is doing.

I like people who dress excentric!

Most people dress boringly, my DH wears very unusual clothes (all e-bay) and out there colours, and he gets comments, but he wears what he likes.

To me, his confidence is attractive, even if I am not crazy about his bright purple trousers

Can't you try and see it like that? A trait of a strong interesting personality?

Maybe I should have posted in style and beauty instead?!

I really really wish I could post photos. I think eccentric made the outfits sound somehow tasteful or stylish.

To have your own sense of style is great, but it doesn't always translate to dressing well. You can be different and alternative and still look good obviously- it doesn't sound like this is what OP's husband is doing.

Exactly this ^^

I LOVE stylish eccentricity and seeing people look amazing and bold and different - I don't love DH looking kind of trampy and weird and embarrassing.

I'm with you OP.
I'd be embarrassed to be seen with him, and I wouldn't fancy him or want to have sex with him!

It sounds like with some tweaking, he could look really super. I'm thinking he has a 70s cum hippy boho cum steampunk cowboy thing going on?

I do feel that was a bit too much cum, sorry, you know how it's meant.

Don't judge him. He's expressing himself. Do you know if he's projecting anything into his clothing style? Has he mentioned depression or feeling low in self confidence?

I know a lot of people who dress to extremes. I still do sometimes and am steadily developing a style which suits and flatters me while also demonstrates my creative personality. It makes me feel better.

Op, does he dress like Austin Powers? If so then you are NOT BU.

We HAVE to see a photo

Anarchyshake to your description and 'too much cum'

SunnyTikka There IS a bit of Austin Powers in there! Mixed with some 90s grunge. And some other stuff.

Haha no OP you are not. I've also been with my partner 20 years. The other day he wore a tracksuit I'd apparently bought him in 2005 from the Nike shop (I don't remember this). Anyway, when he walked out I said god you look like someone who was sentenced in 05 and this is your release date 😂

Unusualusernames

... when he walked out I said god you look like someone who was sentenced in 05 and this is your release date 😂

😂

YANBU OP!

Just tell people you are his carer.

I know this is jokey, but my son is disabled and is always with a carer when out and one of things that we have always tried to do is make sure he has decent clothes, even though he wouldn't have any idea whether he looked good or not.

It's also worth noting that the OP said he didn't dress like thos when they first met, so it's not like she's suddenly gone off him. What does he say about his choices ? Especially the stuff with holes in?!