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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so devastated about this

68 replies

Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 18:30

Our DD's cat was PTS today.

We bought him for her 15 years ago and he was the first cat in our family.

He became very ill a week ago and the vet said he was suffering. DD and her DH took him to be PTS today.

I feel so sad. I loved that cat so much and I know DD is absolutely devastated. I have spent the day in bed, also devastated.

OP posts:
ItchySeveredFoot · 21/06/2019 18:33

Oh I'm very sorry. We lost our lovely boy last October. He died in the vets waiting room waiting to be seen. It does get easier but I still think I see him out of the corner of my eye. Our other cat was devastated.
Be kind to yourself and your dd and have a mopey weekend.

Cherrypies · 21/06/2019 18:33

Of course you are not unreasonable, your cat had been in your life and part of the family for 15 years, you would have to have a heart of stone, to not feel deep sorrow.
Sorry for your loss.

SilverySurfer · 21/06/2019 18:35

I am so sorry, it is a devastating thing to lose a loved pet although some people have difficulty understanding that.

I still feel sad at the loss of my cat and it was many years ago but, of course, the pain lessens in time.

Flowers
formerbabe · 21/06/2019 18:36

Our hamster died last week. I was surprised at how upset I was. Seeing dc upset just made me feel worse.

Sorry op Flowers

EscapeTheCastle · 21/06/2019 18:36

I'm so sorry. It's so sad. What was your cats name? He sounds like a real Trooper at 15.

Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 18:37

Thank you so much, all of you. It feels like the end of an era.

Toby was such a beautiful cat. DH and I have had our own cat PTS a couple of years ago so I can imagine what DD and her DH are going through.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 18:45

Now one of my own cat's has jumped back through the window to comfort me because he can hear me crying.

People say that cats are selfish but they do have a sixth sense.

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 21/06/2019 18:53

I’m so sorry. Flowers Do you have a picture of Toby to share?

VivienneHolt · 21/06/2019 18:54

I’m so sorry. It’s terribly upsetting - we love them so much, the loss of them is felt so keenly. I hope you and your daughter are ok Flowers

Hairyheadphones · 21/06/2019 18:55

So sorry for your loss, it is very sad Flowers

Twuntsrule · 21/06/2019 18:57

It's the hardest thing to do, but also the kindest (PTS). I lost my little girl just shy of 16 years in January. My other cat still mourns, as do I. It slowly gets better, but it is a family member you've lost, so be kind to yourself and DD and grieve for however long it takes. Sending love and purrs.

BrevilleTron · 21/06/2019 18:57

So sorry Cats are family members.
Massive hugs to you all xFlowers

Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 19:03

I can't work out how to post a picture of him.

OP posts:
Eekdatingisntfun · 21/06/2019 19:10

I’m so sorry Flowers Our pets are our family members...of course you’ll be devastated. It’s beyond heartbreaking when they leave us xx

supersop60 · 21/06/2019 19:11

So sorry for your loss. Pets are members of the family and yanbu to be devastated.

StillMedusa · 21/06/2019 19:22

I'm so sorry. I had to have my 19 yr old Portia cat pts in January and I still expect to see her pottering around.
They make such a huge hole in our hearts for such small creatures, don't they?

GabsAlot · 21/06/2019 19:27

Ah jemima your other cats will know bless them-I lost my phoebe last year she was 17 broke my heart i still think i can see her sometimes

thebear1 · 21/06/2019 19:30

Sorry for your loss, it takes time. My darling boy was put to sleep 3 months ago and I have shed lots of tears.

PookieDo · 21/06/2019 19:30

My DD cat died last year and I was so devastated as it was a shock too. I’m sorry for your loss

I got a necklace with her initial on and I never take it off. Even more weird I talk to it sometimes but weirdly also I find it comforting. We talk about her a lot too and feel now we gave her a nice life even though it was shorter than I would have liked, she was happy and so was Toby

Candymay · 21/06/2019 19:35

I posted here last week. My beautiful cat died aged 9 and I have been completely devastated. Grief stricken. I can sympathise with you. It was a week of sobbing non stop and I still cried today too. It’s such a sad and distressing time.

Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 19:40

I have just spoken to DS. He went to see Toby two days ago and has told me that Toby was really suffering.

The whole thing was so quick. Five days ago he suddenly blew up with fluid retention and the vet said Toby had cancer somewhere.

DD and her DH knew Toby had no quality of life all of a sudden. They were so brave about it - aren't we all when we have our pets PTS.

DH and I had our lovely Cheilidh PTS three years ago. We thought we'd never get over it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 19:41

For any of you who have posted that they've lost their beloved pets I found this website incredibly helpful.

www.petlosshelp.org

OP posts:
Queenioqueenio · 21/06/2019 19:43

Sending you & your dd hugs 💓
Our15yo cat was PTS earlier this year, he had developed a cough which got very bad, making him choke & sick, and he started with dementia. On the day it happened it was much worse than I imagined - I was inconsolable and must have cried about 30 times that day. It does get better, but sometimes it bites again when you think you see a flash of fur in the corner of your eye.
These little furry friends really do make their mark in your heart and are truly part of the family.
We planted his ashes in the garden in a sunny spot and bought a lovely magnolia bush for over it. If it helps I do try to remember him when he was young & healthy - when he was king of our road.

Pinotjo · 21/06/2019 19:51

Sending you love & Flowers I had my baby PTS a couple of months ago, she was 21 yrs old, started to fail really fast, had to take her to the emergency vet during the night. Absolutely devastated, still am. Next morning I couldn't go downstairs after 21 yrs of her being the first thing I saw every morning, I couldn't face it, I stood at the top of the stairs howling. It will get easier xx

MaryPopppins · 21/06/2019 19:54

Of course YNBU

I'm so sorry for you and your families loss.

My older cat is getting on now. My parents and I adopted her when I moved home after graduating uni. She then moved from the family home with my and my DH when we got our own home. And has been with us the whole time we've been a couple.

She's getting grey now and although she isn't showing any signs of old age it's hard to watch her fur change colour. Knowing that we probably only have a few years left.

I can't imagine life without her. I've not been a grown up without her with me. My husband and I joke that she's a furry personification of our love.

She's taught our DC what it is to love a pet.

It's going to be heartbreaking when we lose her. But I just have to pretend that won't ever happen and we'll be two old grey girls together.