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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel so devastated about this

68 replies

Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 18:30

Our DD's cat was PTS today.

We bought him for her 15 years ago and he was the first cat in our family.

He became very ill a week ago and the vet said he was suffering. DD and her DH took him to be PTS today.

I feel so sad. I loved that cat so much and I know DD is absolutely devastated. I have spent the day in bed, also devastated.

OP posts:
BlueJava · 21/06/2019 19:55

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Our pets become very much part of the family and you and your family will be grieving. Try to remember the good times, cherish the memories. So sorry for your loss.

Uneasypeasy · 21/06/2019 19:58

YANBU - they become an integral part of the family. We lost our boy two months ago. I still think I see and hear him about the house and get choked up when I realise he's gone. Your feelings are perfectly normal and understandable. So sorry for your loss Thanks

Travis1 · 21/06/2019 19:59

Oh lots of love 💖 I dread the day I’m going to have to make this decision with either of ours.

norfolklass · 21/06/2019 20:05

My cat is 18 and I know we haven't got many years left with him. I know it's going to break my heart when he goes. He picked me to look after him when he was a couple of days old by crawling away from his mum (my best friends cat had kittens) with his eyes still shut and tried to crawl onto me.

DS1 is 14 and he is now his cat...never leaves his side.

myidentitymycrisis · 21/06/2019 20:08

YANBU it is a great loss to the family when an old friend has to go.
my 18 year old cat was PTS in March and ds (23) came with me to do the deed. He marked the event as officially the end of his childhood. I still miss the old fella he was so patient and uncomplaining at the end.

I still think of him when those familiar routines remind me. I still find myself talking to him as it was just me and him living here.

sending hugs to you and your dd. she will have other cats but idont think you can forget a childhood pet.

voddiekeepsmesane · 21/06/2019 20:10

We had to have our beloved cat of 17 years PTS in Jan this year and it hurt like hell. We had her 3 her years before DS was born.

15 years is a long time they become part of your family , part of your everyday. When they are gone it leaves a hole

Lots of Flowers and be kind to yourselves for a while

Italiangreyhound · 21/06/2019 20:10

Losing pet is really horrible.

We had a little service for ours (me and dd) and buried him in the garden.

It is very sad but it is part of life and 15 years is a good life for a well-loved cat.

We also went out and brought a little cat statue to remember him by.

Thanks
HuggedTheRedwoods · 21/06/2019 20:15

Bless you all, it is devasting to let them go even when you know its the kindest thing because they are suffering. Be kind to yourself, its a grieving process and takes time to work through. Pop over to the Litter Tray if you feel in need of hugs any time, lots of us over there have been or going through the same. Flowers

flittynora · 21/06/2019 20:16

So sorry to hear this xx

Hippopotas · 21/06/2019 20:16

It is not silly at all. Pets are like family and even those that’s have quirks (had a few in my time who had interesting quirks) touch us in surprising ways.

I will be a wreck when my 10 year old bunny goes. I can’t even contemplate the thought she is my baby.

HeronLanyon · 21/06/2019 20:16

Hugs to all about losing loved pets. It’s so tough. I’ve lost beloved cats and still many years later think of them, remember exactly how they felt, have lovely (and some awful) memories of them. At the time I was floored and found it really difficult to
Come to terms with.
Recently lost my lovely mum and I have no problems saying all of this at all. It’s all tough. It does all become better/more lovable with.

Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 20:16

Oh my.

So many of you taking the time to post. Thank you so much and I'm sorry you've lost your dear companions or are dreading the day you do.
It's unbelievably tragic.

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 21/06/2019 20:17

Livable with

Pursefirst · 21/06/2019 20:20

I am so terribly sorry for your loss Flowers

Flibbitygibbit · 21/06/2019 20:27

Ahhh ☹️ Op, I had to have my two eldest cats PTS, 20 and 21 years it was awful. Felt very grown up on that decision ☹️ Take comfort in the fact of how much you loved him, and when you feel stronger read Rainbow Bridge (although I can't read it without blabbing inconsolably) big hugs to you and yours x

pinkhousesarebest · 21/06/2019 20:27

We lost our boy a year ago and we still can't talk about him. He was an emblem of such happiness. So sorry OP. It is so very hard, can't believe how hard actually.

HeronLanyon · 21/06/2019 20:32

ponkhkisesarebesy that resonates with me. My dp just recently asked if I could dig out some early photos of (darling boy’s name) as it was only now possible to look at them. 5 years on after him being pts in our arms.

Owlbert · 21/06/2019 20:34

Flowers sorry for your loss, cats are the best companions

Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 20:35

Still trying to attach a picture

OP posts:
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EleanorAbernathy · 21/06/2019 20:42

So sorry for your loss, we've lost two cats in recent years and I still miss them every day - one was 16 the other only 5, both were amazing cats and part of the family- we talk about them often.

It helped us to share happy memories and funny stories of them.

(((Hugs and purrs))

Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 20:43

OH NO

Officially hysterical now.

Can't even show you a fucking picture without fucking it up.

That's do disrespectful to him. Oh God.

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 21/06/2019 20:45

No, he’s understand. We’ll just love Toby anyway from what you’ve told us and send you hugs. so difficult. They bring such joy.

MrsMiggins37 · 21/06/2019 20:45

Och that’s sad Flowers

Original poster
Jemima232 · 21/06/2019 20:47

Okay - I'm not going to try any longer to post a picture of him.

I am useless and feeble and pathetic.

Poor Toby.

OP posts:
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