To never let my BIL babysit again?
Beresford · 20/06/2019 21:07
I have a DD (aged 4) and 3 nephews aged 3 (twins) and 7. For the past two years I’ve been picking them up from school/childminders once/twice per week and babysitting for my sister until about 6/7pm. Up until a year ago the arrangement was reciprocal, but she stopped after she increased her hours at work (we both used to work part time). Anyway, today my mum normally does the school pick up for all 4 kids but as she was away, we had to make other arrangements. My husband is way too and my sister was working, but she said her husband would do the pick up for all 4 instead as he’s between jobs at the moment. I told him I’d be round to pick up DD after work by 6:30pm and he said he’d rather do the babysitting (of all 4 kids) at our house instead. That was fine by me.
However, when I got in after work today the house was a complete bomb site. The twins are very boisterous- and need constant supervision. He had let them tread 6 mini tubs of play dough mixed with popcorn and fruit into the carpet, board game boxes were ripped up, real food remnants in the play kitchen etc, DD had only eaten biscuits and fruit for dinner as she didn’t like the pizza he cooked. I spent the next 2 hours cleaning up the mess they’d made, I’m 5 months pregnant with a really bad back/PGP and quite frankly the clean up was agony.
I feel really pissed off with my BIL - as I’ve done a lot of childcare for him/my sister and I’m really disappointed in how he left my house this evening- in fact I could barely look at him! I’m due to do the childcare tomorrow so will have to suck up my feelings of resentment but would it be unreasonable to never again let him babysit in my house considering the state he left it in?
Babooshkar · 20/06/2019 21:10
Howyiz · 20/06/2019 21:10
Did you ask him what the fuck he was playing at?
HermioneKipper · 20/06/2019 21:11
What! This is terrible. I would’ve been furious - complete lack of respect for your home. Think you need to talk to your sister about this
Beresford · 20/06/2019 21:13
Lol. No I didn’t but I probably should’ve done. I was just so shocked at the mess.
SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 20/06/2019 21:13
WTAF...please tell me you're going to speak to him about it?
Drogosnextwife · 20/06/2019 21:16
So your doing the childcare at their house tomorrow yes? When I say childcare I men handing the kids snacks while watching TV with your feet up and letting them run riot?
Whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup · 20/06/2019 21:18
Did you not say anything OP?
I'm not the most confrontational person but I couldn't not say anything in that situation. Have you spoke to your sister? I think as the situation seems to have to far worked equally in everyone's favour I wouldn't go in all guns blazing with her as I'm guessing you need to carry on with these childcare arrangements ? I would deffinatley let he know what her husband had done though... No wonder he wanted all the kids at yours...
What a nob.
Beresford · 20/06/2019 21:19
Hermione, I nearly called my sister but was too angry/upset. I thought I might be over reacting because of the pregnancy hormones etc. But yes, maybe I do need to speak with her at some point.
SnowWhite, I don’t have that sort of relationship for me to approach him direct.
Thanks for all your replies, it’s good to know that I’m not being unreasonable/ungrateful for the babysitting!
EKGEMS · 20/06/2019 21:21
You trust him to care for your little girl yet you can't talk to him directly about the pigsty your house was when you got home, you watch his children regularly as well?
OccamsRaiser · 20/06/2019 21:21
“BIL, I didn’t raise it yesterday because I wanted to wait until I was calmer, but the way you left my house was not ok. The mess in the carpet, the destroyed board games - these are things that shouldnt happen while you are supervising the children. If the playdough doesn’t come out of the carpet, I’ll be asking for a contribution towards having them cleaned...
In this house we eat at the table. Not wandering around. Not in the play kitchen.
It would be a shame if the childminding arrangements that we have had for the past couple of years had to come to an end, so I thought I should raise it with you so that you know how upset I was with having to spend hours cleaning up after yesterday”
hormonesorDHbeingadick · 20/06/2019 21:21
Maybe it’s time this arrangement stops or at least by the summer holidays. You are having a tricky pregnancy and it and sounds like you aren’t getting much in return.
Kungfupanda67 · 20/06/2019 21:24
If he’s between jobs why are you doing childcare for them anyway?
S1naidSucks · 20/06/2019 21:25
He’s a fly fuck. I bet he lets the kids do the same at home, but by looking after them at yours he didn’t have a pissed off wife to contend with and has a nice tidy home to go back to.
Lollypop701 · 20/06/2019 21:29
You absolutely need to tell him he’s a cf! He didn’t parent the kids he let them run riot. On the other hand If you don’t say anything to anyone then yabu...
theWarOnPeace · 20/06/2019 21:33
What are we talking between jobs? As in a few days between contracts or out of work?
Justaboy · 20/06/2019 21:33
I bet the kids had thought christmas had come early being allowed to do what they did!..
Seems he needs training somwhere!..
Beresford · 20/06/2019 21:34
Kungfu, he starts his new job in the next few weeks, and in fairness to him he has been doing more of the childcare recently. There was a time when the kids were either with me/my mum 5-7 days a week, now it’s a maximum of 3.
LL83 · 20/06/2019 21:36
Although he made a mess you seem to need sister/bils help and they need you.
I would take it on the chin and not bother sister with it but never let him babysit at yours again.
Feelingwalkedover · 20/06/2019 21:36
Bet you he’s done it on purpose
Making sure you don’t ask again
Beresford · 20/06/2019 21:36
War on peace- he’s between contracts, the next job start end of June/beginning of July.
eddielizzard · 20/06/2019 21:38
i hope you took photos otherwise he'll make out you're being unreasonable.
honeygirlz · 20/06/2019 21:39
Call your sister, OP. If she’s not outraged or defends him then stop doing childcare for them.
Beresford · 20/06/2019 21:40
LL83, no generally I don’t need BIL/sisters help for childcare, this was a one off emergency because husband and mum were away. My work is very flexible and I can move things around usually- If I’d known the mess I was coming home to, I would have definitely picked her up myself. I’ve learnt my lesson and definitely won’t ask BIL again!
Lindy2 · 20/06/2019 21:41
If he's between jobs you and your mum shouldn't be doing any of the childcare for his children until he is back at work.
Treaclesweet · 20/06/2019 21:41
Wtf! I would speak to your sister straight away that is such a shitty thing to do.
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