To feel annoyed that I missed out on a job because I am a woman

[curtainsy]

I've just started back at work after 12 months off for maternity leave. Before I went off I had a meeting with HR and my manager to go over my rights etc. One of the things HR said was that they have to keep me informed of job vacancies.

I have now started back and found out that a promotion came up within my team 2 months ago. Four colleagues applied and one of them was appointed. AIBU to be absolutely raging that I wasn't informed?
I don't actually know what to do about it as it's all been done now and he is in this new job so I feel like complaining is pointless.

It takes less than a minute to forward an email to someone's personal address. Legalities aside for a second, surely any decent manager would do this out of basic courtesy? It's hardly a Herculean effort, and certainly much less so than OP coming into the office every 6 weeks to reset her password while she's on maternity leave.

Whilst I do think the op should have been informed, I think it actually is relevant whether she would have got the job or not. If they had someone else in mind, it would have just been a waste of time for op. Interviews are often just a formality, ticking the box, the person has already been chosen.

I can imagine an op on this basis 'Aibu - my company specifically contacted me regarding a new job. I assumed I was in with a good chance as otherwise why would they have contacted me? So, I organised childcare, £50, and went in for the interview. I didn't get it. My colleague found out they'd already decided. Aibu to be pissed off they wasted my time?

You have to facilitate too. I nipped into work for 10mins once a month to keep my og in and email up and running. If you really wanted promotion you could have checked work email once a week and got your laptop reset every 6 weeks

The only level of facilitation required is ‘here is my personal email address’.

It is well known that standards and expectations of management and managers in this country are very poor, which is a key contributor to our woeful productivity. This thread is a good exemplar of the problem / expecting people on parental leave, regardless of their circumstances, to regularly spend hours of their time on leave to ensure they have access to work systems (if this is allowed at all - everywhere I worked for mat leave automatically suspends access for periods of over 3 months) on the offchance that a rarely available vacancy might come up rather than the much more proportionate ‘Manager forwards relevant emails’.

I’m wildly envious of those for whom checking a week’s worth of work emails, even just the corporate/email lists ones, is the work of a few minutes, though.

Usernumbers1234

Jobs are advertised on work email, that’s what HR meant by keeping her informed.If you aren’t going to have access to work email for a year, maybe you should give them an alternative

The HR people made it clear before she went off that they knew they had to take specific steps to do something extra in addition to the usual way they notified employees of jobs. And from OP’s post at 20:53
HR and management have my personal email before I went off on maternity leave. I emailed back and forth from it a few times to ensure they had it. I check personal email a few times a day

Oh and I’d substitute “if you aren’t going to have access to work email for a year” to “If you are going to exercise your legal right not to look at work emails whilst on maternity leave”. HTH.

You have a right to be avoided of any opportunities that come up during maternity leave and arrangements should have been made before you went off as to how you wanted to be contacted.

I applied for a promotion while on maternity leave and interviewed the day after I returned from a year away. I got it and am about to go for another. Very sad to see posters suggesting that this isn't possible.

I'd contact HR about it. If you provide your contact details properly, which it seems you did, then there's no excuse for this.

Whilst I do think the op should have been informed, I think it actually is relevant whether she would have got the job or not. If they had someone else in mind, it would have just been a waste of time for op. Interviews are often just a formality, ticking the box, the person has already been chosen.

This argument is totally bizarre. So by your logic, how about when the jobs are sent round by internal email they have a note next to them saying "don't bother with this one - we only want X to apply for this job"? That way nobody needs to waste their time, mat leave or otherwise

This thread is an eye opener - some people really do have low expectations of their employers.

I flounced (quietly) from MN some time ago after reading one too many threads in which women refused to believe that other women could possibly have different experiences with their periods than them, telling people they must be lying, abnormal, exaggerating and so on because the concept of a heavy and painful period being the norm for many was beyond them.

This thread has I think beaten all of those to the most depressing thing I've read on here.

What's backwards is that some women bring everyone down by expecting to be handed everything on a plate.

Some of us stayed proactive on maternity leave, and wouldn't have just expected special treatment just because we are women. It's depressing, makes all of us look like childish fools. No wonder we are not taken seriously or have to fight hard to be, even with other women.

Have these pps who are weighing in on OP forgotten thsi is mumsnet? Its a forum for parents. Be supportive and read up on the law before you tell the OP she isnt conscientious/worthy of a promotion if she isnt checking her email constantly.

I don't have kids and I have more empathy than you lot combined. I dont work mondays, guess what, I dont check my email on mondays...

Am completely shocked by some of the replies on here. Yes you were discriminated against by not being told of a vacancy whilst on mat leave. You need to complain about this to ensure it doesn’t happen to anyone again.
The argument that someone may have been earmarked for the job is irrelevant- this is also not how large companies should work.
You made arrangements to be kept in touch while you were off - these were ignored.
No you don’t have to keep calling in to log on? You made arrangements- they were ignored.
Are you in a union at all who could take the case up for you?

The replies here and total lack of willingness to accept that yes discrimination still happens is revolting. @EarlGreyOfTwinings she didn’t expect special treatment, she expected equitable treatment to that of her colleagues not on maternity leave. She requested to be notified on her personal email, and the law states she is entitled to this. She is not to blame at all!

You could have HD screws to internal email, but would have had to go in to reset the password every 6 weeks. Did you confirm this with IT or your manager, or ask if any provisions could be made for remote password updates? You theoretically had access to the same emails as everyone else- you still had internal email access. The job was advertised there. They don't have a responsibility to ask you personally to apply. I get why you're miffed, but as others said- you didn't make any effort to keep in touch, and neither did they. It doesn't, on the surface, appear like discrimination. I also have internal email, and yes, I did ensure I kept up with reading it on mat leave, it's a choice, not a requirement, but also meant I was aware of any opportunities that came up when I was off.

Actually SD1978, they are legally required to notify her. The onus is on the company to ensure an employee is not disadvantaged by being in mat leave.

It is not a requirement to check internal mail/ work email. It absolutely is a legal requirement to ensure employees on mat leave are notified of any potential opportunities using their nominated contact method. They didn’t do this, they are at fault. As for those talking of the op expecting special privileges , expecting not to be discriminating against is the exact opposite of special privileges. It’s expecting the same opportunities as everyone else. Seriously, would you have a go at a company that let wheelchair users and other physically disabled staff take the lift to the office? They are just being given the same access as everyone else!

Jesus christ people, it's 2019. No wonder women are left behind in the work place if so many of us are ignorant of our rights, or even worse, going to criticise those rights as unreasonable!!

The OP is exactly right in her expectations, appears to have done the right things before going to HAVE A BABY (not swan off for a year or gallivanting), and has been shafted for it.

Please please please will this of you who think it's OK that this has happened think about why it might not be ok, and look at your rights in the workplace, male or female.

good grief, and you wonder why people will prefer to employ a man instead of a woman, so much drama and sense of entitlement. And I am a mother, but the last thing I need is to hold other people's hands! I am so fed up of women giving us a bad name because they want special treatment. No wonder some people don't take us seriously.

Earlgrey what a disgraceful attitude.

It’s not special treatment. It’s a legal entitlement.

OP, why on earth do you see this as a gender issue? If a man had been away from work for a long time due to an illness like cancer - would he also not have been informed about the promotion like you or do you think they would have informed him via his private email address or so?

Mia184, if you read the thread you'd learn something.

I will leave everyone to bang their heads against a wall while they read Mia184 and Earlgreys ' comments!
I think we are going round in circles!!!

we are all entitled to our opinion, and have various experience of being on maternity leave ourselves.

I am always shocked by threads like that which bring us all backwards. It's hard enough to be a working mum, the last thing we need is the entitled "playing the woman's card" victim.

we are all entitled to our opinion, and have various experience of being on maternity leave ourselves
Theres a huge difference between having an opinion,after all the old joke is they are like assholes, everyone has one, and having an informed opinion.

In OP's case it is a legal requirement to inform her.That is relevant.

This thread doesn’t bring us all backwards. Hopefully it’s helped some posters understand their legal rights. It’s helped me understand better some of the obstacles women still face though too.